Falling into You (Falling #1)(4)

Which was the exact wrong thing to think in that moment. I tugged the shirt off my eyes and looked up to see him gazing down at me, expression intense but otherwise unreadable. He was taking deep, dragging breaths, and I knew if I wasn’t careful, I might end up convincing myself it wasn’t just post-run panting.

I licked my lips, and his eyes followed my tongue’s path. Bad. This was bad.

“Kyle…” I started, then realized I didn’t know what to say.

“Nell.” He sounded calm, confident. Unaffected. But his eyes…they betrayed him.

He turned away, bent over with his feet together and began stretching. The moment was broken and I turned to stretch as well. When we’d both finished, we sat down in the grass, and I knew we couldn’t avoid the discussion any more. To cover my nerves, I tugged my hair free from the ponytail and shook it out.

Kyle took a deep breath, glanced at me nervously, then squeezed his eyes shut. “Nell, listen. When I said ‘why not’, that was…it was stupid. It’s not what I meant. I’m sorry. I know how that must have sounded to you, I was just so upset and confused—”

“Confused?”

“Yes, confused!” Kyle said, almost yelling. “This whole thing between us today, it’s confusing. When you told me Jason asked you out, I just—it was like something in my head just…snapped. I pictured you out with him, maybe even kissing him, and I…no. Just no.”

He scrubbed his face, then lay back on the grass, staring up at the blue sky scattered with shreds of white and stained orange by the lowering sun.

“I know how this is gonna sound but—when I pictured Jason’s arms around you, his lips touching you…I couldn’t handle it. I thought, ‘Hell no! Nell is mine.’ That’s when I ran off. I couldn’t figure out why I was so possessive suddenly. I still…I don’t know where this is coming from.”

“I don’t either. I mean, I was surprised by the way you reacted, but then I went home and thought about actually going out with Jason, and…it just didn’t fit. I couldn’t imagine it.”

“So are you still going out with him, then?”

I paused. “I don’t know. I guess not.”

Kyle glanced at me, then pulled out his iPhone, the earbuds trailing from it. “Does he know that?”

I sucked in a breath. I hadn’t called him to cancel. “Shit, no, he doesn’t.”

Kyle’s lip quirked up in a grin. “You’d better call him, then, huh? He’ll be wondering where you are, I imagine.”

I glanced at my iPod. 6:54 p.m. “Can I use your phone?”

He scrolled through his contacts, yanked the earbuds free, and handed it to me. I hit ‘send’ and pressed it to my ear, the rubber case still damp and warm from Kyle’s grip.

“Hey, Kyle, my man! Whassup!” Jason’s exuberant voice came through the phone.

I sucked in hesitant breath. “Actually, Jason, this is Nell. I’m calling from Kyle’s phone…I—I forgot mine.”

“Forgot yours? Where are you? I’m pulling up to your driveway right now.” His friendly, excited voice took on a confused tone.

“Listen, I’m sorry, but I can’t go out with you.”

A long silence. “Oh, I gotcha.” His voice drooped, and I could picture his features falling. “Everything okay? I mean, —”

“I just—I may have said yes too quickly, Jason. I’m sorry. I don’t think…I don’t think it’d work.”

“So, this isn’t a rain check, is it.” His words implied a question, but his tone was a statement, flat, tense.

“No. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, I guess.” He laughed, a forced bark. “Shit, no. It’s not. This is kinda shady, Nell. I was all excited.”

“I’m so, so sorry, Jason. I just realized, after really thinking about things…I mean, I’m flattered, and I was excited that you asked me, but—”

“This is about Kyle, isn’t it? You’re with him, on his phone, so of course this about him.”

“Jason, that’s not—I mean, yeah I’m with him right now, but—”

“It’s fine. I get it. I think we all knew this was coming, so I shouldn’t be surprised. I just wish you’d told me sooner.”

“I’m sorry, Jason. I don’t know what else to say.”

“Nothing to say. It’s all good. I’ll just…whatever. See you in chemistry on Monday.”

He was about to hang up, and a flash of inspiration jolted through me. “Jason, wait.”

“What.” His voice was dead, flat.

“I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but…Becca has had a crush on you since seventh grade. I guarantee she’ll go out with you.”

“Becca?” I could hear him considering the idea. “Wouldn’t that be weird? I mean, what would I say? She’d think she was my second choice, or something. I mean, I guess that’s true, but not like that, you know?”

I thought about it. “Just tell her the truth. I backed out on you, last minute. You already have reservations, and I thought she might like to go with you instead of me.”

“Think it’ll work? Really?” His voice took on a new life, excited once more. “She is pretty hot.”