Falling for Mr. Wrong(14)
“Would you say it already?”
“Okay, on the count of three. One.” Harper took a deep breath. In through the mouth, out through the nose. “Two.” She closed her eyes. Pretend you’re getting a shot. Clench your teeth, squint hard, and it’ll all be done. “Three. Okay, I slept with Noah Gunderson.”
The line was silent.
“Allie?”
“Yeah. I’m here,” Allie said. “Look, honey. We’ve been friends forever. I know you slept with Noah. I mean I slept with Jimmy Cusack back in high school. We all did. Why are you telling me this now?”
“Gah! Allie! I mean I slept with Noah. Last night.”
“Omigod, omigod, omigod. Shut the eff up. You so did not. What? How?”
“How? How do you sleep with someone? It usually means that you let his penis enter your vagina—”
“I know that! I mean how? Where? When? What? Huh?”
Harper heaved yet another hard sigh.
“Evidently Noah’s back. I mean actually, he’s back. And I went on a date—”
“You and Noah had a date?”
“No! I had a date with a guy. An honest-to-goodness sweet guy who I hope to date more. And then I slept with Noah.”
“There is so much more that must have happened in between all of that. Start from the beginning, please.”
“Right. So I had a date. For once the guy was really sweet. We had a great time. I decided I’d go back to his place for a drink. I call up an Uber, and who is my Uber driver but Noah. In a Subaru Outback, of all the damned things.”
“Noah’s driving Uber? I thought he was wandering the world. Or in law school. Or something like that.”
“Law school?”
“Honey, remember? I swore long ago I’d not keep you up to date on your ex.”
“Good point.”
“So why is he back home?”
“Hell if I know.”
“You slept with him and didn’t even ask that?”
“Honestly not a lot of words were exchanged.”
“No words were exchanged?”
“Not many. But plenty of body fluids.”
“Harper, you’re killing me here. Talk.”
“Fine. I was trying to, but you kept interrupting me. So Noah dropped us off at Danny’s place—”
“Sort of awkward.”
“Completely. Not to mention buzzkillish. I mean here I was giving myself a pep talk that I could even sleep with this guy—”
“Which guy?”
“My date!”
“Okay, so you’re about to have sex with this Danny guy, and instead you have sex with Noah when?”
“So I finally bailed on Danny. It was rainy, yucky, so I called for another Uber. And lo and behold, Noah shows up as my driver again.”
“And you do it in his car?”
“No! I’m not that tacky.”
“I think that would be kind of fun.”
“Yes, it would be fun. But I mean not under the circumstances. He shows up in town and bam, I bang him in his car?”
“Well, then where did you?”
“First of all, it was the last thing in my plans.”
“Always is.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean no one ever means to have sex with an ex-boyfriend. Especially one who broke your heart.”
“You can say that again.”
“Except it happens anyhow.”
“You can say that again also.”
“Please continue.”
“Oh yeah, right. So I’m getting out of his car, he walks me to my door, my key gets jammed in the lock, he helps get it out, I have one foot in the foyer, and the next thing you know I’m up against the wall with my dress up to here and his pants down to there.”
“Oh God, Harper, that sounds so passionate.”
“That’s one word for it. I might call it foolish. Or irresponsible. Or impulsive.”
“Or horny.”
“That too.”
“But it’s so exciting! You did it! You’re over your dry spell! Albeit with the last man on the planet I’d expect that from, but hey, sometimes you gotta take what you can get in life. Or in your case what you’re willing to give. You could’ve gotten it from many men, but you didn’t.”
“Yeah, but Allie, now I’ve had sex with my enemy.”
“You could view him more as your frenemy. Or lovermy,” she clucked out loud. “Nah, that sounds weird.”
“Either way, I should never have done that and worse still, dammit, I want to do it so badly again that it almost makes my mouth water.”
“So then do it again.”
Harper’s eyes grew wide. “Are you crazy? Once was impulsive. Twice would be sheer stupidity.”
“Or you could call it practice.”
Harper laughed. “Practice for getting my heart hurt again?”
“You’re not going to let that happen—I’m sure of it. And quite frankly my guess is that he has no such intentions. It’s interesting, though, that you didn’t even know he was back. And the fact that he’s driving Uber means he’s working at home, which means he must be living back in Verity Beach. So I wonder what brought him back. And how long it’s been. And why he didn’t reach out to you—except that he feared you’d lop off his balls, maybe—and wow, what kismet that he ended up being your driver. Kind of like your knight in shining armor. Only in a Subaru Outback.”