Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(41)

Cole is sitting in the corner next to the window, the light streaming in. His shoulders hunched over the sketch book, bottom lip snagged between his teeth as his hand moves swiftly across the page. He is wearing his trademark beanie. A copy of Peter Pan sits on the table. The edges are frayed and the cover is wrinkled and slightly faded. A collection of crumpled papers, pens and what looks like rulers.

I walk back to the counter.

“Did you say hi?” Megs grins at me.

I shake my head. “He seems busy.” I gulp down my coffee and place the empty mug on the vintage Formica counter.

Megs grabs my shoulders and spins me around. “Breath in. Out. Now go in there and talk to that boy.”

I stumble forward before righting myself and send a pretend-glare over my shoulder at Megs. She gives me a thumbs up and winks, and I turn to face the book nook again.

I wish I could read this boy. One moment he is sweeping me into the woods, showing me his tree house and opening up to me, the next he is quiet. Almost too thoughtful. I wonder what goes through his mind when he’s lying next to me on the roof. I remember how his thumb felt against my skin, the warm air fanning my lips when he dipped his head closer to my face. I was so sure he wanted to kiss me.

My life has been full of uncertainties. I just wish I was certain of this thing with Cole. I’m going to find out, one way or another. I want to feel like I belong somewhere. And I’m hoping he will agree to teach me how to sign.

The moment I step inside, I halt and stare around the room. The walls are lined with shelves filled with books to the brim. Four rows of bookcases stand in the middle of the room. Two-seaters are arranged across the room, giving it a cozy feeling. A few kids are perched on the seats, reading or chatting in low voices while others sit on the chairs, heads bent low over desks, working studiously. The music from the other side of the wall doesn’t leak into the room, so I assume some kind of soundproofing system has been installed to keep the noise out.

I turn to face Cole, and as if he senses me, he raises his head and his eyes widen slightly. He’s been invading my space constantly since we moved in next door to his house, and now I’m invading his.





The second Nor steps though the door, my body snaps in awareness. Only one person has the ability to do that to me. The one girl I’ve been fantasizing about for a while now. I was so close to kissing her when I took her to my tree house. I can’t seem to stop staring at her mouth, especially when she says my name. That bottom lip, fuller than the top one. Every time I close my eyes, I imagine how her mouth would feel against mine. I just want to kiss her. That’s all. Kiss her and touch her skin. I’ve given up pretending that I’m not interested in her, because I am. I’m admitting it shamelessly. Our nightly star-gazing is the highlight of my day.

Right after our trip to the tree house, I lay in bed, thinking about my evening. She was easy to talk to, and she listened. The longer we talked, the more her eyes came alive, chasing away the shadows and pain from their depths. Other than her dad being the king of douche-dicks, that evening had been in my top five of all times. I can’t stop thinking about all the ways I could erase the constant look of pain in her eyes.

And now, she’s standing in front of me, watching my every move with her big, innocent eyes. She’s pulling me into their lushness, and she doesn’t even know it.

I’m in trouble, and I welcome it willingly.

Clearly, I’m obsessed.

My gaze moves to her mouth as I wait patiently for her to say something.





Cole is still staring at me. Maybe I should have settled for our nightly star-gazing session and let him come to me when he was ready.

I shake my head to clear those thoughts. I’m here now. The need to talk to Cole, to be close to him, has surpassed all rational thought. It’s probably not healthy, but I need to. My desire turned into a craving that night when he came to the roof and hooked his pinkie around mine.

I step closer, braving his stare. The only thing that betrays his nerves is the way his fingers fiddle with his beanie on the table.

I wave at him. “Hi.”

He nods once, but doesn’t smile back. His eyes are fixed on me, watching intently.

I bite my bottom lip and glance down at my hands, feeling a little nervous. Lately, Josh hasn’t been around a lot. I’ve resorted to learning a few signs by searching the various sites dedicated to teaching ASL online.

I bend my fingers to form a curve and bring them to my middle with the knuckles touching and then roll them forward and point at him, smiling and say, “How are you?”

He blinks and the corner of his mouth tips up in my favorite almost smile.

Success! I’ve managed to get that addictive smile and also surprise him.

I pull out the chair across from him and sit down, enjoying that look on his face. I glance at the notebook in front of him. It’s full of what looks like geometric drawings. Elegant and beautiful and very complicated. I feel a vein explode somewhere inside my head. My eyes are drawn back to the notebook and the hand gripping a pencil. They are beautiful fingers. Long, strong, capable of inducing so many emotions in me with just a simple touch. They are artistic fingers.

“Thought you might need this, Keds.”

I jerk my head up and see Simon place a glass of ginger ale in front of me.

“It’s on the house,” he announces with a wink.