Fall Back Skyward (Fall Back #1)(119)

The first time Elise and the girls made a fort, Cora and Joce had argued about which room it would be built in. Eventually, we decided mine was the neutral ground. At that time, Josh was spending days on end in the hospital as the doctors tried to save him through chemo. So it was a comfort to have the girls in my room. Even though Josh and I shared a bed, we never got intimate. It was more for putting up appearances to the girls. Before Josh became really sick, he’d been seeing a girl he’d gone to college with. Then he stopped when he got too weak to go out. Megs and I made a plan to take him dancing or to a bar, just to hang out with a different crowd every once in a while, whenever he was well enough.

“Hey honey,” I say to Cora, scanning the room for Joce. “Where’s your sister?”

“She just went to her room to collect some things we need.”

“Can I talk to you two for a few minutes?”

Her hands holding a string of lights pause. She looks up. “Oh Mom! Can’t it wait? We’re almost done,” she whines.

“Cole is here.”

She drops the lights and grins wide. Gray eyes so like her father’s flash, hopping from one foot to the other. “Really? Oh my gosh. Joce! Uncle Cole is here!” she shrieks then darts out of the room. I trail after her and stop in the hallway.

Joce yells something from inside her room, then she’s zipping past me in the hallway and bounding down the stairs. I can’t believe that’s my always cool, calm and collected daughter. And it’s not like they don’t talk to him every day. Even on days he doesn’t drop by for a visit, which is extremely rare, he still chats with them on Skype. I’m grateful for that, because somehow, he has become a fixture in their lives. I suspect it also eased their pain of losing Josh.

When I reach downstairs, I take the seat directly across the couch from Cole and the girls and then fold my hands on my lap.

I wipe my clammy hands on my shorts, and sign. “Girls. I need to ta—” Cole’s eyes narrow on me. “Cole and I need to tell you something.”

Joce leans forward, propping her elbows on her knees and Cora settles herself on Cole’s lap. They stare at me expectantly.

Right. I inhale. Hold my breath. “So, you know Cole and your dad—Josh, are brothers.”

Cora rolls her eyes and laughs. “Of course, Mama. Is that all? Because Joce and I want to make plans with Cole about the carnival.”

Cole lifts his hand and grasps the nape of Cora’s neck. The gesture is so possessive, it sends my heart fluttering inside my chest. “Patience, sweetheart.”

Crap. This is so hard. “Sometimes things happen in life and we are unable to control them and. . .” I blow out a breath and rub my forehead. The twins squirm impatiently and Cole stares at me, a question clear in his eyes.

I shake my head subtly. I can do this. His lips quirk at the sides in encouragement.

“Cole. . .Cole is your real father.”

Joce frowns. Looks to the floor, and then at Cole. She leans back in her seat.

“What?” Cora squeaks and scrambles off her father’s lap in favor of sitting next to him with her tiny legs crossed.

Taking the ‘rip the bandage off approach’, I proceed to tell them a watered down short version of what happened nine years ago.

Cora’s eyes twinkle, a dimple appearing on her cheek. “So, you and Cole are like Cinderella and the Prince, and your father was the stepmother?”

Cole’s lips twitch. “Yes.”

Cora bite her lip, seeming to contemplate something. “Did you love Daddy too?”

I nod. “Yes. Very much. I loved your Daddy and Cole, but very differently.”

Her eyebrows scrunch up. “How can you love two people differently? I thought there is only one kind of love.”

“It is possible to love people differently,” I try to explain and hope I don’t end up confusing her even more.

Cole mouths, “let me try” and I nod.

He scoops Joce up and over his lap and sits her next to Cora, and then he angles his body so that his entire focus is on the girls.

“For example. You love Joce and your mama. And you love your best friend, Lara or any of your friends at school.” He pauses and watches them intently to make sure they’re following his logic.

“So Mama loved Daddy the way I love Lara?”

Cole nods and Cora falls silent, mulling over the words. She seems satisfied for now, but I’m sure she will be back with more questions. Our story is complicated and probably confusing to Cora and Joce. Or maybe I’m underestimating their power of understanding.

Joce hasn’t spoken yet. She’s wearing a look I can’t read, which reminds me of Cole. It’s pretty worrying.

“Honey, do you have any questions?” I ask her.

She bites her bottom lip, stares at Cole for a long time. “You lived so far away. You never came to visit even after Mama’s father went away. Didn’t you want to be our father?”

Cole sucks a sharp breath, and starts to shake his head. His stare is fiery, darting between the two girls. “Nothing would have kept me away from you if I had known about you. Your mama wrote me a letter and told me about you. I didn’t open the letters on time. I regret that a lot, because I would have seen you sooner. I’m so sorry.” He pauses and kisses the top of their heads. “You two are my forever girls. Nothing will stop me from wanting you.”