Every Wrong Reason(56)
Sensing that their help cost her deeply, I whispered, “I’m so sorry.”
She waved off my apology as if it wasn’t necessary. “I got my way in the end, though. They thought they were giving me a practice with my degree, something they could brag to their country club friends about and recommend to all of the miserable trophy wives they know. They never saw the whole guidance counselor at an inner-city school thing coming. It still pisses them off.”
We shared a victorious smile. “I wondered why you were so much older than me.”
She stuck her tongue out. “Only three years. It’s not like I have tenure.”
“Thank you for telling me that.”
She shrugged self-consciously, “I just wanted you to know that I mean it when I say it gets better. It hurts. God, it hurts. But it doesn’t always.”
“I need to hear that. Keep telling me. Don’t stop.”
She gave me a sad smile. “It’s kind of nice, though.”
All of my breath whooshed out of me and I thought for a second I would start choking. “What?”
“Nick. At least he’s putting up a fight for you. Marcus didn’t. Or at least I never heard about it if he did, but I’m almost one-hundred percent positive he just signed whatever papers my parents shoved in front of him and never thought about me again. We weren’t right for each other, don’t get me wrong. And what we did was so completely stupid. But looking back… I don’t know… it would have been nice if he fought for me. It would have somehow soothed my ego after all of this time. I wouldn’t feel so… discarded.”
A million of my own thoughts tumbled around in my head, but I put them aside for now and said, “You’re not discarded, Kara. He was an idiot. You guys were so young. He was too young and immature to realize how amazing he had it.”
She tilted her head to stare out the window. “I haven’t been able to look him up since. Not once. I know he’s on Facebook because I see our mutual high school friends comment on his posts sometimes, but I’m too afraid of what I’ll find. I know what I want to find. I want him to be alone and miserable and working a dead end job or still living in his parents’ basement.” Her pretty lips turned down in a frown. “But I’m too afraid that he’ll be happily married with a yoga instructor for a wife and six perfect kids that model for Gap.”
I let out a surprised laugh, “He’s not married to a yoga instructor and if he has six kids then they’re all from different moms.”
She wrinkled her nose, “I like that.”
“You’re a catch, babe. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
Her gaze found mine again and her gray eyes sparkled like silver from unshed tears. “You too, Kate. Whatever happened with Nick does not define you. There’s a better relationship out there. You’ll find it.”
“Maybe,” I whispered. But what I really thought was no. There wasn’t a better relationship out there. I’d been given a good one… a great one and I’d mismanaged it. I’d poisoned it.
I’d destroyed it.
I didn’t deserve a better relationship after how I’d treated this one.
“Well, if it isn’t the shrieking harpy effectively destroying my brother’s life.”
The harsh, guttural tone came from above me. Feeling the coffee I’d just finished swirl and churn in my belly, I slowly lifted my eyes to stare up at the very last person on earth I wanted to see.
Jared Carter. Nick’s little brother.
“Hi, Jared,” I smiled patiently, despite the rotten feeling inside me, despite the urge to run screaming from the coffee shop, waving my arms over my head like a lunatic.
Jared looked so much like Nick; it actually hurt to see him here. Although, where Nick’s muscles had always been lean and lithe, Jared’s were bulky and compacted. Nick had run college track, Jared had played football at a division two school, where he hit people so his teammates could score points. They had the same light brown hair, though, highlighted by streaks of the sun. Jared’s eyes were a darker blue than Nick’s too. Nick’s eyes looked like blue flames and Jared’s were so dark that you had to lean close just to be sure they really were blue. Jared was also younger by five years. Nick’s body had filled out with manhood. Jared’s, just like his attitude, was still working on it.
“Kate, wish I could say that it’s nice to see you,” he sneered.
“No, you don’t.”
His mouth spread in a cruel grin, “You’re right. No, I don’t.”
“You know my friend, Kara.” I tilted my head in her direction.
Jared nodded once, “Kara.”
She clicked her manicured nails on the wooden tabletop. “Jared.”
“Do you know what I’m doing here, Kate? Why I would choose this particular Starbucks in the middle of my busy Friday?”
“Because you don’t have a job?” I leaned forward, uncharacteristically mean-spirited. “Or a life?”
His grin disappeared. “I’m picking up a coffee for my brother. He had to work today. They’re letting him work on production. They like him there. They think he’s a natural.”
I struggled to swallow against my closing throat. “That’s very thoughtful of you.”