Every Wrong Reason(25)

Eli gave me his half smile, “Do you want a ride home?”

I hadn’t seen him drink anything but water for the last two hours, so I hoped that meant he was sober. “Are you sure?”

He nodded. “It would be my pleasure.”

“Let me grab Kara.”

His gaze moved to the dance floor and when it came back to me, it was unreadable. But then again, that could have been the booze.

I retrieved my friend from the dance floor. She came willingly, but I could tell I took her from a good time. She was more relaxed than usual and I hated interrupting her. But we did have to be at school bright and early in the morning and our sanities were still salvageable if we left now.

Eli led the way out to his pickup truck. My eyesight was a little blurry, but I couldn’t stop from smiling at the rusted wheel caps and faded paint. Eli’s old Chevy just seemed to fit him in a way I couldn’t explain. It was old, but it was also comfortable and full of character.

He held the door open for us and Kara nudged me in first. I tried not to fumble too much as I slid into the middle seat. Kara climbed up after me and Eli slammed the door shut. My ears rang in the new silence, damaged from the calamity of the bar. I slumped against the bench seat, the rough fabric scratching the backs of my knees and realized exactly how tired I was.

Eli climbed into the driver’s seat, filling the cab with his cologne and the light tang of sweat. His warm thigh pressed into mine and I was too tipsy to feel self-conscious. I let my leg rest against his and felt the heat of his body to the tips of my toes.

That small touch kept me more alert than I should have been with the alcohol swimming in my blood. His touch did all kinds of things to my head, including keeping me silent. Eli and Kara talked on the way to her house, but I couldn’t find the courage to open my mouth.

It was stupid. Completely stupid. That small connection should mean nothing. I shouldn’t even be worried about Eli’s leg pressed against mine. And yet, it was the most intimate I had ever been with someone else since I met Nick. I had never been this forward with another man. Ever. I didn’t need to be.

And the entire ride to Kara’s apartment I fought a war between excitement and shame. The thrill of my attraction to Eli fought seven years of loyalty to my husband. I didn’t know whether to grin like an idiot or puke.

Finally, we dropped Kara off and I broke the contact between us, sliding to the passenger’s side. I gave Eli my address with a shaking voice. I couldn’t look at him anymore. I had crossed some invisible barrier tonight that I had set up myself.

I was too confused and too infused with alcohol to know if the buzzing in my veins was celebration or sorrow. And I was too tired to care.

“I had fun hanging out with you tonight, Kate,” Eli’s low rumble floated in the warm air of the cab.

This time my smile came easily and I stopped worrying about all of the rules I broke tonight or the consequences of my actions. “I had fun hanging out with you, too.”

I felt his eyes on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at him. “You going to be okay to get inside?” he asked gently.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.”

We sat silently until it became a little awkward, until I knew I should move.

I had just touched the handle when Eli’s voice stopped me. “Kate?”

This time I dragged my gaze to his. “Yeah?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

I smiled slowly. “I might not look this pretty, but yeah, I’ll be there.”

His lips tipped up into a flirtatious smile. “I’m looking forward to it, pretty or not.”

I left his truck with a smile on my face, a smile that didn’t leave until I had let myself into my dark house, a smile that stayed in place until after I’d brushed my teeth and climbed into my bed with Annie curled up next to me.

It was then that my smile slowly disappeared… that it turned into a frown as I stared up at the still ceiling fan and spread my body out on a bed I had shared with my husband in a house we bought together.

I expected to fall asleep quickly, but I tossed and turned until the alcohol wore off and my eyes hurt from unshed tears.

Eli was a distraction from the truth of my misery. Eli was fun to flirt with and divert my single-minded attention, but he didn’t fix the problems inside me. He didn’t solve my broken marriage or my heartbreaking divorce.

When I finally fell asleep, I thought I had done so sober. So when I woke up in the morning and found a new text message on my phone, nobody was more surprised than me.

Nick had texted: Me too.

I was confused until I saw the text sent directly before that one… the one sent from me at three in the morning. This is killing me.





Chapter Seven


14. He doesn’t notice the little things.




The next morning was brutal. I didn’t think I had ever felt this bad.

Besides the surprise text from Nick, my head had been squeezed in a vice grip and filled with a hundred dancing monkeys-the kind with the crashing cymbals-and my stomach threatened to upheave every time I moved or walked or talked or breathed or decided to keep living.

I crawled out of bed feeling like my mouth had been wrapped in cotton and dragged myself to a cold shower. The freezing water warred with my massive headache, but at least my body felt super-cooled.