Ever the Brave (A Clash of Kingdoms Novel)(68)

I bite my tongue to stop myself from saying anything that would spur the guards into harming her more. I thought I understood what it was to hate someone. But anything I felt in the past is nothing compared to the wrath I now harbor inside.

The guard to my right yanks my arm so hard that pain zips through my shoulder. I yelp, and the man chuckles darkly, telling me to move faster. In that fleeting moment, I remember I’m not entirely powerless. The skin-to-skin contact reminds me of the energy flowing under the man’s rough, leathery paws.

I could force him to his knees.

It would be in defense. Would Enat have considered that dark magic? At this point, do I care? My thoughts flicker, seeing the slaughtered nobility, the field of slain guards, the battered Finn, and the bruised Gillian. The idea of inflicting the same brutality on any of Lord Jamis’s men brings more pleasure than it should.

“Y-y-you’re not really gonna do it, are you?” Finn’s teeth chatter, snapping me out of the daydream.

I blink, taking in Finn’s shadowed cell, glad I cannot make out his expression. He knows I’m on my way to find the king. There isn’t anything I can say to appease his worry. Instead, I look from the blot of black behind the cell bars that is Finn and then to Gillian. “Watch out for her.”

He doesn’t respond.

As we ascend the stairs, I know I’ve let him down.



The guards take me to where Phelia waits alone under the arcading.

Once my eyes get used to the early evening light in the corridor, I study her, this woman who is supposed to be my mother—the similar shape of eyes and the straight sloped nose. Her hair is a few shades darker than mine, but it’s not hard to imagine that in twenty years I’ll look a lot like her.

Honestly, the similarities bother me the most. They whisper that we’re more alike than I’d ever want to admit. Since meeting Phelia in the woods, I’ve wondered if I have the same capacity for darkness and evil. I’ve pushed aside thoughts of her over and over again.

Now, as the guards remove the manacles, Phelia’s gaze bears down on me, like she’s puzzling out a problem. My fingers itch to tug at the tight seams of this dress. Her scrutiny holds me in place. I try to swallow, though my throat feels coated in dust. I glance at the guards out of the corner of my eye. I wanted to use my Spiriter ability to end them mere moments ago. Can she see that in my face?

When the men leave, Phelia’s eyes drop to my wrists, where the manacles have left my skin red.

“If I need to subdue you, I can do it with a twitch of my finger,” she says.

Can she really?

Her lip curls. “You wear your thoughts too easily.” She gestures for me to go ahead of her. “Lord Jamis does not make idle threats. Remember that.”

Her words tie knots inside me. But I do what she says, moving toward the king’s link. To an observer, I might appear more like her guide than her prisoner. We walk through long halls, some narrow and others wide.

I take note of where my connection to Aodren is telling me to go and I ignore it, like when it pulls me toward the stairwell to the servants’ quarters.

We pass the Great Hall, though we don’t enter. I steal a glance through the open doors. I stumble when I find the room empty. Only smears of crimson remain from the recent deaths. In the hours that have passed since the feast massacre, the remaining servants must’ve worked hard to move the bodies. The slushy frozen feeling returns to my veins. When I look at the Great Hall, I want to believe that it was a nightmare. But the evidence is immortalized in stains. Even if the servants scrub the blood away, the devastation and loss will always be imprinted on this castle.

I shudder, despite the numbness spreading into my limbs. I turn and continue down the hall in search of the king.

“You think me a monster.” Phelia’s voice scratches at the back of my neck.

“Should I think anything else?”

“I wasn’t always one. I told you I saved you.”

At the cost of another man’s life. Yes, he was trying to kill us, so in comparison her act seems justified.

“You left my father and me behind,” I say, and then point toward the north tower.

She stops under one of the castle’s arches. “The border guard wanted to kill us. He mortally wounded us both.”

Truth. She’s already said as much, though.

I turn to fully face her and wait for her to continue. My eyes are drawn to the onyx markings that spiral down her arm, wrap around her wrist, and spread over the flat of her palm.

“You want to know why I left, don’t you?” she asks. She’s different today than the other times we met. Her jagged edges are softer.

I find myself nodding.

“When he walked close enough for me to touch him, his intent was to end our lives. That strong of a singular focus colors a person’s energy. And in turn, stains the taker.”

“What are you saying?”

Her fingers twitch toward me, though she stops shy of touching my skin. “I stole his energy to heal you. But it came at a great cost. After I did, I wanted to kill you.”

The heat in her truth hits me, her words like hooks, luring me in to ask more. Not that I want to. I don’t want to learn anything more about Phelia.

“It was madness,” she continues unprompted. “His intent warred with my own motherly instincts. Instead of killing you, I stopped drawing his energy. I should’ve died. Except I passed out and woke days later, healed by Enat. Your father and you were gone, convinced by Enat that I was dead. But she saved me.” Phelia’s bitter scoff rings off the arched ceiling. “Saved me by lying to my husband and sending my child away.”