Epoch (Transcend Duet #2)(53)

Dammit.

I’m burning up with a fever of jealousy. He doesn’t have a half-naked picture of her in his pocket. He would never do that.

“What are we doing?” I ask as he pulls into a strip mall parking lot.

“In case it’s escaped your mind, Christmas is around the corner. I need to get some gifts. Do you need to get home right away?”

“No. Good call. We should shop.” I’m still on my firsts with him. It’s our first holiday season together. Griffin has a Christmas list. I like that. He could click a few buttons on the computer, but he’s not. He’s shopping. I like this a lot.

We hold hands. Another thing I like. A little something I took for granted.

“Coffee?” I glance up at him as he holds open the door to a coffee shop. “Now we’re talking.”

“Not for you. My mom likes a very particular coffee, but my dad gives her crap about spending money on it because it’s not cheap.”

“Sorry … all I heard is ‘not for you.’ Now I feel like I need this coffee.”

He gives me a frown before shooting the lady at the counter a killer smile while releasing my hand.

My emotions are on crack. I’m up and down, jealous and paranoid. Reading into every little look he gives me or doesn’t give me.

The lady gets Griffin two bags of the coffee and one really obvious flirty bite of her lip while batting her eyelashes. That look used to not faze me. I was the girl he took home. The girl he undressed. The body he worshipped. Now I feel on the verge of being his biggest disappointment. His biggest mistake.

“Can I get you anything else?”

“No—”

“Actually…” I give her a smile just as sugary “…I’d like a small cup of that to go. Please.”

Griffin frowns at me again. WTF. Why the frown?

I scowl back at him. He looks away.

“Ring mine up separately.”

She puts a lid on the cup and sets it on the counter.

“It’s all together,” Griffin says with a bit of exasperation.

Flirty Face’s eyes ping-pong between us as she totals it up.

Griffin pays cash and grabs the bag. “Thank you.” He shoots her another awesome smile.

Dammit! I want that smile.

She bites that stupid lip of hers again and nods, releasing her lip and falling sober when she catches my raised eyebrow.

“Swayz,” Griffin says, holding open the door.

I take a few more seconds to stare her down like she’s the villain in my nightmare. But she’s not. That girl resides in the mirror.

Pivoting, I give Griffin the same stare-down look.

“What is your deal?” he asks when the door shuts behind us.

“What is your deal?” I lengthen my strides to stay a few steps in front of him like I know where we’re going next. But I don’t. “No coffee for you, Swayze. No smiles for you, Swayze.” My head bobs animatedly side to side.

I’m hitching a ride on the looney train. The clock is ticking, we’re just not counting down aloud. The toxic mix of anger, fear, resentment, jealousy, and bone-deep love is stripping every last piece of my sanity.

Every day I think he’s going to cave and say we don’t have to leave. We’ll work things out right here. Instead, every day he inches away from me a little more—not as many glances, hardly any words, rarely a touch.

Maybe he’s protecting his heart.

I wish I could protect mine, but I can’t. It’s going to break no matter what. There’s no way for this to end without me giving up a piece of myself, without me saying goodbye to part of my shattered heart.

“Are you done?”

I glance over my shoulder. Before I spew any more venom, I bite my tongue and nod. He’s hurting. I’m hurting him. This is on me. I don’t deserve good coffee or great smiles.

“In here.” He jerks his head toward the bookstore.

I backtrack several steps and follow him inside. “Who’s getting books for Christmas? Your dad?”

“Yep.” He takes the lead this time like he knows exactly where he’s going.

“I love that your dad reads so much. He’s always got his nose in a book.”

Griffin weaves through the maze of books as I sip my coffee.

“History?”

He nods, thumbing the pages of a book on World War II.

“I’m going to look through the kids’ section.”

For Morgan. But I don’t say that to him. He nods without looking at me. I meander around the kids’ book aisles, politely declining help every time an employee asks if I’m looking for anything specific.

“Don’t spill your coffee. You’re terribly accident prone.”

Fear seizes my heart, making it impossible to breathe. I back away from the voice while turning, bumping into a display. Several books fall to the floor.

Doug Mann grins that fucking psycho grin as he shakes his head. “As I was saying …”

I make a quick scan for Griffin, but he’s nowhere to be found. “Get away from me.”

Doug holds up his hands. “I’m not doing anything. Just saying hi.”

I hug my coffee cup to my chest, but I should throw it in his ugly, scarred face.

Oh. My. God.