Ensnared (Splintered, #3)(74)

“Jeb.”

He opens his eyes and we lock gazes.

“This is why we fit. Because we’re both damaged, in a way that can’t be healed. Even by magic.”

His gaze holds steady.

“I love you,” I whisper. “Do you still love me?”

He leans closer, bracing his knuckles on the ground beside my hips. “I’ll never stop.”

My stomach somersaults. “Then come home.”

“What good will it do?” His mouth is inches away and the question scalds my lips. “Things can never go back to the way they were.”

My chin tightens. “You’re right. Because we’ve both grown and changed. Because we understand each other on every level now. I’ve seen all your secrets. You’ve seen mine. We can live for today. Not think about forever.”

He lifts a sand-covered hand and traces the red streak of my hair. “You’re being naive. Morpheus won’t let us. He’ll dangle your magical eternity in front of me, knowing it’s something I can never give you. Knowing, as a human, I have nothing to offer that compares to that.”

He starts to draw back, but I grasp the waistband of his boxers where it hugs his abs. I hear the husky intake of air as he looks down at my hand, then back up at my face.

“You’re wrong. There’s something you already offered that’s every bit as magical and rare as forever. You offered to grow old with me. That’s something Morpheus can’t do.” I stroke my fingertips over his whisker-rough jaw. “I didn’t get to answer that yes, I want to marry you.”

For an instant, Jeb’s eyes sparkle with a hopeful light.

“Do you still want that?” I ask.

His fingers weave through my hair, so tight they pinch my scalp. “There’s no one I’d rather spend my life with. Make a family with. But you made a vow to Morpheus. Twenty-four hours alone together. He’ll do anything to keep you from coming back to the human realm.” He presses our foreheads together. “I would fight for you, Al. Until the day I die. I just don’t know how to fight magic without magic. Not anymore.”

So I’m the reason Jeb doesn’t want to leave or give up his power. It’s been me all along.

His agonized expression scores my insides raw. Morpheus’s promise on the day I made that vow dances along the edge of my psyche: I’ll show you the wonders of Wonderland, and when you’re drunk on the beauty and chaos that your heart so yearns to know, I will take you under my wings and make you forget the human realm ever existed. You’ll never want to leave Wonderland or me again.

It’s not that Jeb doesn’t have faith in me. It’s that he’s seen the writing on the wall. Morpheus always finds a way to win. He’s the most manipulative and brilliant strategist I’ve ever known.

But he’s met his match. Or, rather, he’s created her.

“You don’t have to fight for us.” I trace Jeb’s tattooed wrist. “I can fix it so Morpheus will leave us alone.”

Jeb frowns. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No.” My voice is resolute and strong, almost as strong as Morpheus’s when he told me the secret to getting the upper hand: Once you know someone’s weakness, they’re easy to manipulate.

Jeb touches my face, as if shaken by the seriousness of my tone.

I could argue that Morpheus brought this on himself by forcing Jeb to live with the knowledge that he almost choked me in spite of our arrangement . . . by always manipulating every word, action, and promise to his advantage. I could say he’s taught me well and I’m finally thinking like a netherling. Like him.

But this isn’t for revenge. This is for leverage. Morpheus and I have forever to make things right between us, but Jeb only has one lifetime. He’s been dealt enough misery already. I’m what makes him happy, and he does the same for me. So we should spend Jeb’s one life together.

“Jebediah Holt,” I say, my palm covering my chest in pledge form. “I vow on my life-magic that you’ll be my first in every way . . . in marriage and everything that goes with it.”

His face opens with wonder and astonishment, as if I’ve offered him the Milky Way and all the undiscovered galaxies beyond. “Wait, did you just—?”

Before he finishes, there’s a spasm behind my sternum that sucks my breath away. My heartbeat staggers for an instant, like a fish flopping behind my rib cage. I wail and draw my knees to my chest.

Jeb rubs my arms. “Al, are you okay?”

Cringing, I uncurl my body slowly. My fingers dig into the sand to fight the harsh sting. “I’m fine. It—it’s just a muscle cramp.” The lie tastes sour, like blood.

What if Red put a spell on my heart to control me? To bend me to her will? Every time I stray from her path toward Wonderland, I’m punished with agonizing pain. Just like she used my veins as puppet strings when she shared my body last year.

I can’t let her win. Tomorrow will be here too soon, and I have to convince Jeb to leave with us. If I don’t, he will die.

I grasp his hand, ignoring the pain. “Only you can release me of the vow’s binds. Morpheus will never ask me to break it. I need my magic, to be the queen he’s always trained me to be. Wonderland’s best interest is the one thing in the world he would put above his own desires.”