Eliza Starts a Rumor(37)
Does anyone else feel like they have sexual chemistry with Bart, the guy behind the deli counter at the Stop & Shop?
General consensus: Yes!
Favorite comment: “I love when he says, ‘I have your pound of meat right here.’”
Do I have to go with my husband for my bitchy mother-in-law’s birthday visit every year? He always says “This could be her last!”
General consensus: Mixed.
Favorite comment: “It depends. Are you her health proxy?”
Even some of the regular posts seemed more brazen:
Looking for ways to spice up my sex life. Any suggestions?
Favorite comment: “C-O-C-O-N-U-T.”
Followed by an ambiguous: If you know, you know.
According to the whopping 163 comments that followed, no one knew. Finally, the commenter returned to explain that she moves her hips in the direction of the letters during sex and it drives her husband crazy.
There were also posts that reminded her of the reason she started the bulletin board to begin with—to harness the collective power of the women in her community. Last month they organized a meal train for the family of a woman recovering from heart surgery. And today a post about a missing dog named Truffles Goldstein was getting a lot of attention.
Eliza was knee-deep in the dog post when Amanda interrupted her. She had barged into Eliza’s house, knocking with one hand while letting herself in with her spare key with the other. She yelled from the foyer, “Eliza! Where are you? Are you alone?”
“I’m upstairs with my lover—a breakfast burrito.”
Amanda took the stairs two at a time. Being in her childhood home, and Eliza’s, was infusing her with a long-lost and deeply satisfying sense of nostalgia. Quite a miracle really, since she was in the middle of the biggest crisis of her adult life. She found her friend at the computer, her mouth full of tortilla, eggs, and avocado.
“Eliza, it’s four o’clock.”
“Well, I just got out of bed.”
“That’s not good—even though your FOGO is as much of a comfort to me as that burrito is to you.”
Eliza laughed. “Why, because I’m always here when you need me?”
“Exactly. The cookies were a big hit, by the way. They won’t be happy coming home to store-bought anymore.”
“Well, not to worry. I send batches up to school for the twins and their friends weekly. I am happy to add in more for your girls.”
Amanda held up the volunteer form for Pippa’s play.
“Good. Should I sign up for snack volunteer?”
“That would be me volunteering, no? Find something that you enjoy. This may be the perfect distraction for you.”
Eliza grabbed the sheet and skimmed it. Amanda already had and was cautiously excited about the last bolded request.
“Look here.” She pointed to it for Eliza to read.
“You know it’s Pippa who will be in the play, not you, right?”
“Yes, I’m very happy for her. Read the last part.”
She complied, reading it out loud for effect: “As many of you know, my usual AD is out on maternity leave. We are looking for a parent with theater experience for the assistant director position. Any takers?”
Amanda did her best soft-shoe, followed by jazz hands. “Ta-da!”
Eliza laughed. “It sounds perfect, Mandy. Now let’s just hope Pippa gets a part.”
That was not a worry for Amanda. She responded confidently, “Pippa will get the lead!”
CHAPTER 21
Alison & Jackie
That night, Alison enjoyed bathing Zachary and getting him to bed more than usual. As much fun as she had had in the city with Olivia, she had missed her baby boy. She wondered if she would get used to missing him when she went back to the office. All of these feelings were surprising to her. She remembered snapping at a senior partner at her firm when he asked how she would balance it all after her baby was born.
She’d said, “Did you ask Ken Straub how he would balance it all when he had a kid?” knowing full well that he hadn’t. She loved not answering a question by deeming it unworthy, when in truth she didn’t know the answer. She still hadn’t a clue.
She watched Zach blissfully asleep in his crib for a few minutes and then went downstairs to the kitchen. The appetizers she and Olivia had shared at Grand Central left her at that hard-to-satisfy junction between needing a snack and a meal. She decided to count it as dinner and went right to dessert. She hunkered down on the couch with a pint of Halo Top Peanut Butter Cup ice cream, a spoon, and her laptop. Before long she was immersed in the Hudson Valley Ladies’ Bulletin Board, caught up in the story of the missing shepherd/retriever, Truffles Goldstein.
The photo of Truffles’s sweet face swaddled in the arms of an equally sweet-faced little boy was enough to gain any and all sympathies. At least that’s what Alison imagined. The comments were mixed.
Most people said helpful things, like:
Alert the local shelters, in case someone brings him there.
If you message me Lost Dog signs, I’m happy to print them and put them up!
Me too!
Me three!
Along with some nasty comments, like: