Echoes of Fire (The Mercury Pack #4)(5)
While he hadn’t expected the extremists’ deaths to bring him some element of peace, he’d still hoped they would. They hadn’t. The nagging sense of restlessness to go hunting had been what had kept Bracken going. Now it was gone. Without the drive to avenge his family, he felt adrift and without purpose. He went through the motions. He ate. Breathed. Slept. But he didn’t live.
His wolf was similarly taunted by restlessness. Finding peace by exploring their territory and being surrounded by their pack mates simply eluded them both.
The position of enforcer used to give Bracken purpose, but he couldn’t feel that same pride in it anymore. He’d tried giving up the position—and, yeah, that was partly because he didn’t feel like he deserved the responsibility of keeping others safe. His Alpha, Nick, had bluntly told him to shove his resignation up his ass, had said to give himself time to “heal.”
What Nick didn’t realize was that Bracken couldn’t heal. Although he didn’t have as many flashbacks now, and he was no longer running on grief and rage, the emotions were still there. They just simmered beneath the surface, always ready to take him down.
He wouldn’t ever be the person he’d been before—not even close. He was harder. Disconnected. Hypervigilant. Couldn’t laugh or relax. And the darker side of his character—the unpredictable and quick-tempered side that skated the edge of rational—often took over.
“What about Shiloh?” Jesse asked, referring to his mate’s cousin.
Bracken’s brow creased. “What about her?”
“Well, you were pursuing her pretty hard before the attack. From what she told Harley, you haven’t contacted her since then. Does that mean you’re not going to pick things up where they left off?”
“There’s nothing to pick up. I was never serious about her.” Plus, she felt like part of a past life. Part of a world he no longer fit in. Part of a path he could no longer take.
“Did you know that Claudia Brookson warned her off?”
Bracken’s head whipped around. “What?”
“She very politely suggested that Shiloh should reject any advances you make. Shiloh just stared at her with a vacant expression, but her twin tried to lunge at Claudia. It seems the she-wolf isn’t giving up on trying to lure you into her pack. She’s been watching you since she got here.”
Bracken had noticed. He’d kept his back to her, not wanting to encourage her. The youngest daughter of a powerful, rich, respected—not to mention, criminal—Alpha wolf, Claudia was quite the pampered princess, but she wasn’t a spoiled, selfish brat. In fact, she sponsored the Movement and did a lot of PR work for shifters. Beautiful and charismatic, she’d effectively become the country’s favorite shifter.
She was often in magazines and featured on daytime TV shows, talking about fashion and other topics that applied to both humans and shifters. She was great at presenting the positive side of their kind and coming across as so relatable that it was easy for people to forget that she wasn’t human. In short, she made shifters seem like people.
She also did an excellent job of discrediting the extremists, which was why she was a big target for them and had a security team comprised of strong, dominant wolves. Two months ago, she’d come to the club, offering Bracken the position of her personal bodyguard. He respected her for sponsoring the Movement, but he had no interest in leaving his pack or becoming anyone’s bodyguard, so he had politely turned down her offer.
Many males would think him crazy to do so, considering she’d also made it clear that sex would be on the table. Even when she’d offered him a larger amount of money, he’d again turned her down. But she wasn’t giving up, apparently.
“I get the feeling she’s not accustomed to being denied anything,” said Jesse.
Probably not, thought Bracken, but he really wasn’t interested. “Are we done now?” He just wanted to have a drink in peace.
“Not unless you’re going to promise me that you won’t go drifting.”
“It’s not such a big deal.”
“It damn well is, especially because I’m not sure you’ll come back.”
Bracken flexed his grip on his bottle. “You mean you’re worried I’ll do something stupid to end my own life.”
“You think I don’t know how much you hated Ally those first few months after the attack?”
He had hated her. If the Seer hadn’t had a vision that he would die, she wouldn’t have turned up at the movie theater and healed him. He would have died with his family, just as he’d then wished he’d done. “I don’t hate her.”
“Not now, no, but you still feel guilty for living. You won’t end your own life, but you’d find death a relief. You can’t blame us all for not wanting you to disappear again. If it was me or Zander, you’d want us home. You’d want us to let you be there for us. That’s all I want, Brack. It’s what we all want.”
Bracken guzzled down the rest of his beer and thumped his empty bottle on the bar. “Go to your mate, Jesse. She’s probably waiting for you in the VIP section, and she’s not a patient person.”
“Harley strongly encouraged me to come talk to you.”
“And we did talk. I’m done now.”
Jesse shook his head. “You’re a pain in my ass, Brack.” But it was said with affection. “Look, we need to—” His phone rang, and he fished it out of his pocket. “It’s Nick.” Jesse swiped his thumb over the screen and answered, “Hey . . . What? Ah, shit . . . I got it.”