Dovetail: A Novel(50)
“It just doesn’t seem fair,” he said softly. “But then life isn’t fair, is it?”
“No, it is not.” She looked down, fiddling with the wooden clothespins in her front pocket. “If it were fair, my mother would be here alive and well. Instead, she left a husband with a broken heart and seven daughters without a mother to love and guide them.” She looked up. “But there’s no point in dwelling on it. I have learned that we all have our heartaches. Even those who seem to be the most privileged have some secret trouble, something in their lives that causes them grief.”
“But what about you? When do you get to live your own life? Don’t you want to fall in love, get married, and have a family of your own?”
“I want all that and more,” she said evenly. “As any young woman would. It will have to be later, though, if it happens at all.”
“I see.” His eyes tender, John reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. He thought she might pull away at his forwardness, but she didn’t move, just regarded him with wide eyes. “You are wise beyond your years, Alice Bennett.”
She blushed with pleasure. “Not so wise at all. I just know how life plays out for many people. My friend Edna Clark is my age and cares for her ailing mother, so she is also living a life of service. Family duty comes before pleasure.” A strong breeze came through, making the hanging sheets billow and snap. Lifting her head, she said, “Would you like to know a secret?”
“Need you ask?” He leaned in close. “Of course I’d like to know a secret, especially if it’s yours.”
Her eyes danced. “Even if it means that you must share a secret with me? There must be trust between us.”
He hesitated for only a second. “I’m not quite sure what you mean, but I do trust you, and I know you are true to your word.”
“This is how it will work,” she said, suddenly emboldened. “Each of us will tell the other a secret, something of great personal importance. That way, we have an assurance that our secret is safe. By doing it this way, I will know that you won’t divulge my secret, because if you do, I’ll be free to reveal yours. Do you agree?”
“I would never betray a confidence regardless, Miss Bennett.” He grinned.
“Those are my terms. Take it or leave it.”
“I will take it, and I would be happy to go first,” he said.
“No namby-pamby secrets either. You must tell me something important, something that you don’t want anyone else to know.”
“Understood.” He glanced around the yard, checking to make sure no one was in sight. When he confirmed the only one around was Daisy, who was now sitting in the wicker basket on the porch, he took in a deep breath and said, “I am here under somewhat false pretenses. Lawrence is not my last name.”
She frowned. “Your name is not John Lawrence?”
“My actual name is John Lawrence Robinson. I am not using my last name because I am trying to distance myself from a scandal. In my hometown of Gladly Falls, my family name is held in disgrace.”
“But why?” She tilted her head to one side, her brow furrowed. “Why is it held in disgrace?”
“My father is in prison for murder.” He toed the ground and was quiet for a moment before continuing.
“But surely he didn’t do it?” Her eyes grew soft.
He shook his head. “I wish I could say that he was innocent, but he did indeed kill someone. A man with a grudge against my family broke into our house and threatened my mother. In defending her, my father got out his gun. There was a struggle, the gun went off, and the man was killed. My father was convicted of murder. It didn’t matter that it was in his own home or that he was defending his wife. The jury didn’t care.”
“Oh no,” Alice said softly.
John nodded. “This happened when I was a little boy, so young I was just beginning to walk. I don’t remember it. After my father went to prison . . .” He faltered, the words hard to say. “The relatives abandoned us, and my mother was forced to get work as a live-in housekeeper for your father’s cousin. As I got older, I began to work for her employers as well.” He exhaled again and kept on talking, as if wanting to get it all out. “They are a nice family, but they are not my family, and it is not our house. Anytime we leave the grounds, people in town snicker behind our backs. Frank’s uncle, Edward Thompson, the one he mentioned who lives in Gladly Falls? I know the man well. Very wealthy and influential but cruel. I didn’t know how to answer Frank’s question asking if I knew his uncle and found myself trapped in my own lie.” John searched her face, eager for a reaction. “I am not proud of this, but I cannot think of any other way to shake off my family’s disgrace. I’m not ashamed of my father. I just see no need to carry the stain of his past with me. Please don’t tell anyone this.”
“I would never tell a soul,” she promised, making a cross over her heart. “With God as my witness, I won’t speak a word of it. How terrible for you to lose your father under such a circumstance. Your mother must be a very strong woman.”
“She is wonderful. I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. Someday, when I’m a doctor, I’ll move to another city and buy a house of my own and bring her there to live with me.” He glanced at Daisy, who was now dragging an unwilling cat into the laundry basket. “I love my mother, and I miss her, but it is nice to be in Pullman, where people judge me only on my work and my character.”