Defending Raven (Mountain Mercenaries #7)(15)
She was in hell. This was like being offered everything her heart desired, but she knew if she dared reach for it, she could lose something else she loved just as dearly.
She heard Gabriella begging Zara to translate what was being said, but Mags didn’t look away from Dave.
“Te amo,” he said softly, bringing quiet sighs from the other women.
Mags shook her head stubbornly.
She knew Dave would’ve stood there all night if his friend Gray hadn’t taken hold of his forearm and tugged him toward the exit. “Come on, Dave. Give her some space. We’ll come back tomorrow.”
Mags held eye contact with Dave until he was outside the hut and Gray had literally dragged him away. She let out a huge breath of relief.
Then panic returned just as quickly.
He’d come back.
She knew he wouldn’t stop until he got her to admit she still loved him too. That she would go back to the States with him. It was all fine and good for Zara to have left her life in Peru behind, but Mags didn’t have that option.
“Please don’t run,” Zara said in Spanish before she left. “Promise me you’ll stay and talk to him.”
Mags didn’t agree or disagree, but eventually Zara sighed and said goodbye to the rest of the women and slid the piece of metal over the entrance.
The others all started peppering her with questions, but Mags didn’t have the energy or will to answer them. She wandered over to her pallet and lay down. Her stomach growled, but she ignored it. There was no way she could eat. Not now.
Just when she’d gotten used to the life she was leading, something came along to disrupt it once more.
She had no idea what she was going to do. She couldn’t leave, but she didn’t want to stay either. Dave appearing out of nowhere was a dream come true, but it also placed her smack-dab in the middle of her own personal nightmare.
Dave might’ve spent the last decade trying to rescue women in situations like hers, but she didn’t think he could truly understand what she’d been through, and there was no way he’d be able to come to terms with the choices she’d made. The shame she felt every day shrouded her like a heavy blanket, slowly and surely weighing her down and suffocating her.
But she knew Dave wasn’t going to simply turn around and go back to America quietly. Even if she continued to tell him that she didn’t love him anymore, didn’t want anything to do with him. No, he’d want explanations and answers. Two things he wasn’t going to get. Not if she could help it. The last thing she wanted was for him to look at her with disgust, which was what he’d do if he knew why she didn’t want to leave.
The other reason she knew he’d stay was because Dave could always read her. He’d always seemed to know when she wasn’t being truthful. She could tell him over and over that she didn’t love him, that she wanted him to leave, but he’d know she was lying. That she desperately needed him to make things right in her world, even if that was impossible.
As Mags listened to her friends oohing and aahing over the things Dave and his friends had bought, a rare tear formed and slipped down the side of her face. Nothing was easy in the barrio, and the arrival of the only man she’d ever loved had just complicated things. Tenfold.
Chapter Four
Dave went back to the motel docilely enough, but inside he was making plans. If Raven thought for one second he was leaving without her, she was mistaken. He hadn’t looked for her for ten years just to walk away now. He didn’t know what was going on in her head, but he knew enough about trafficking victims to know many had serious psychological issues because of what they’d been through.
But one thing that wasn’t in question was whether Mags was his Raven. She was. She’d been through hell, suffered more than anyone should, and had the lines on her face to prove it, but to him, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
He didn’t care about her tattered and dirty clothing, or the way her hair lay lank and greasy against her back. What he did care about was the look of absolute agony in her eyes.
He knew what had probably happened to her over the years. She’d been sold like a piece of meat and had most likely been used and abused by countless men who only cared about getting off.
The thought of his Raven being taken against her will was a tough pill to swallow, but the woman he’d seen today had somehow managed to survive everything she’d been through for an entire decade. And he could still see flickers of the Raven he used to know buried somewhere inside.
But it was the soul-deep conviction in her eyes that there was no way he could ever want her now that killed him. The secrets she hid from him, and everyone around her, were deeply ingrained in her psyche. They’d once been best friends. Closer than he’d been to anyone in his entire life. She knew all his hopes, fears, and dreams, just as he knew hers. But now there was a chasm between them that seemed as wide as the Pacific Ocean, and that hurt. Bad.
There had to be a reason why she didn’t want to leave Peru—and he was going to find out what it was. He hadn’t lied. If he had to move to Lima and live here for the rest of his life to be with his wife, that was what he’d do.
He knew she was lying to him for some reason. He’d always been able to read her like a book. It used to annoy her and amuse him. He wasn’t amused anymore. Because he knew down to the marrow of his bones that she didn’t want to stay in Peru. She longed to go back home to Colorado, but for some reason she was holding back.