Dead Girl Running (Cape Charade #1)(8)

“You did! You made me so much braver. But I’m not like you. I’m not—”

Kellen’s interruption was brutal and direct. “A lesbian?”

They had never spoken of this before. “No. I’m not a lesbian.”

Kellen looked out to sea, seeking something on the horizon: understanding, solace…something. “I came out of the closet to Mama and Papa. They threw me out of the house, told me I was going to hell unless I repented.”

Cecilia heard a world of pain in Kellen’s voice. Putting her arms around her, she said, “I didn’t want that for you.”

For one moment of weakness, Kellen leaned her head on Cecilia’s shoulder, and they stood together, hugging, cousins and sisters of the heart.

Cecilia had always known Kellen was a lesbian, and she wondered how Aunt Cora Rae and Uncle Earle failed to see the truth. Probably because they didn’t want to know.

“I would have kept quiet,” Kellen said, “but my partner…she deserves to be recognized as part of my family.”

“Is she lovely?”

“She’s a dear. So smart. So kind. You’ll like her. She says we can be married, have children and love them, let them be who they want to be.”

“Is that why you came here now? So we could talk about your love?” Cecilia teared up. “All we’ve done is talk about me.”

Kellen’s smile disappeared. “No. No guilt. I won’t have it. You’re already swimming in guilt. Tell me about last year when you broke your leg.”

Weary and heartsore, tired of confronting the truth and being confronted, Cecilia collapsed onto a rock. “I…I got lonely. Gregory was at the main house. I went in search of him and I…fell down the stairs.”

Kellen sat next to her. “Fell down? I’ll bet he was standing behind you.”

More tears leaked from the corners of Cecilia’s eyes.

Kellen put her arm around Cecilia’s shoulders. “Look at us. Look at you.” She held out her phone, clicked on the camera, took a picture of them in selfie mode. “We look alike, but you were always the beautiful one. Your hair—” she caught the length in her fist “—had that burnished gold look. Now it’s rough, tangled, and the ends are split. You know Mama would be shocked.”

Split ends were the ultimate sin in Aunt Cora Rae’s house.

“Your mom gave you that perfect skin, that natural kiss of terra-cotta to your skin. Now you’re so pale you’re almost a ghost.”

Cecilia looked away, trying to see across the ocean to a different place, a place of comfort and of warmth. “The Lykkes have never had a, um, Western American, um…”

“Western American…? You mean, Native American? Part Cherokee?”

“When I told them, they were shocked.” Cecilia had overheard Erin saying plenty to Gregory about adding a savage to their family tree.

Kellen’s voice rose. “What did they think you were going to do? Scalp them?” When Cecilia didn’t answer, Kellen’s voice gentled. “Your eyes are so big and blue, and your lashes—you always had the most beautiful lashes. And they’re gone! Have you been pulling them out?”

“They fell out when I was sick.”

“You’re too thin, and, Cecilia, you can’t even look at yourself.”

Kellen was right. Cecilia couldn’t look at herself, into her own haunted, shamed eyes.

Kellen continued, “We used to resemble each other so much people thought we were sisters, called us by the other’s name. Now…you’re haggard, old before your time.”

Cecilia sighed, a feeble whimper that made her ashamed. Again. So much shame.

In that distinctive, decisive tone, Kellen said, “Cousin, here’s what we’re going to do. You’re leaving him today. Now.”

Fear grabbed Cecilia by the throat. “I can’t. I need my…things. My…” Cecilia struggled to think of what was important. “My photos. Of my parents.”

“Don’t you have them on digital?”

“I don’t have a…phone or a…”

“He doesn’t let you have electronics. Okay. First I’ll put you in a cab and send you down to my hotel in Greenleaf.” Kellen called the taxi. Because Kellen did what she said she would do when she said she would do it. “You’ll have the same cabdriver I had. Talkative, but really nice. You’ll be safe with him. I’ll walk to that pissant little house you call a home and get your photos. I’ll meet you at the hotel. We’ll drive to my place in New York. I’ll take care of you.”

Cecilia felt as if she was fighting a spiderweb, trying to free herself yet caught ever tighter. “I should tell him. Explain.”

“I’ll tell him. I’ll explain. I’d like to do that.” Kellen’s relish weighed her voice with pleasure.

Cecilia had to tell the truth. She didn’t want to. Kellen would despise her. Who wouldn’t? “You don’t understand. He’ll come after me. I tried to leave once and he was watching me.” If you leave me, I’ll kill you and I’ll kill myself.

“He has cameras in that house?”

“I’m so clumsy. He wants to make sure I don’t hurt myself.”

“Can you hear yourself? Hear the things you’re saying? You’re so terrified and battered you’re brainwashed.”