Date Me, Bryson Keller(19)

“Yes, we should,” I reply nervously. The tension from earlier comes crashing back into me. It’s always surprising that something so unseen can be so heavy.

“Well, the basics: I usually give my weekly dates rides to and from school….Is that something you want? Or not?”

I think on it. I’m pretty sure that none of his previous “dates” have had to stress about something so trivial. And yet, one wrong move and I can have rumors spreading about me.

“I mean, just because two guys are together…doesn’t make them gay?” I say. “So I’m pretty sure that will be fine. And if anyone does ask, we can use the drama assignment as our cover. Which isn’t actually a lie—we do need to work on it. Besides, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me.” I laugh nervously. “When else would I ever get to date the most popular boy in school?”

“Haha, who, me? I don’t know about that. Anyway, just let me know if it ever feels too much for you,” Bryson says. “No dare is worth the risk of outing you before you’re ready. You can end this at any time. If you feel like it’s too much. The last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable.”

I’m pretty sure I swoon when I read that.

“Does everyone have this option?”

“Yes,” Bryson says. “I’d never want to force someone to play this game if they’re uncomfortable. It’s why we have the rules. But on top of that, if at any time during the five days someone wants to break up, we can.”

    “Has that ever happened?” I ask.

“No. Not yet,” Bryson says. “You know, you’re strangely more talkative over text.”

“That’s because you can’t see me. I’m a really anxious person. So on top of all that, I also have this huge secret that I would prefer no one knowing until I leave this place.”

“You’re going to be out in college?” he asks.

“That’s the plan. Or should I say, dream,” I reply. “I mean, I know Fairvale Academy is a pretty welcoming and accepting place on paper. We have the right clubs, but I’ve heard the jokes. The teasing that we’re just meant to accept as lighthearted, even though it hurts. So I just don’t want to put myself through that.” Not again is what I don’t say.

“So, it’s those dickheads at school?”

I want to point out that some of the dickheads happen to be on his soccer team, but before I can type that out, another message comes through.

“I’m pretty sure dickheads describes most of the soccer team. I once brought up the jokes they make, and everyone teased me about being gay, too. I probably should try again. Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I say. “I mean, the dickheads are a big reason for me staying closeted, but I think the bigger reason is my parents.”

“You don’t think they’d accept you?” he asks. “You don’t think they already know?”

I move to lie across my bed. “Maybe deep down a part of them suspects. And maybe they’d rather ignore that suspicion so that they don’t have to face that their son is gay. It’s funny, just today I was feeling down about that very thing. My mom and dad are eagerly awaiting any news of a girlfriend.”

    “It’d probably be a huge shock to them to know that you have a secret boyfriend, right?”

“That’s the understatement of the year. What would your parents say if they found out you were dating a boy for the week?”

“I mean, my mom is pretty cool. Her younger brother is gay and everyone is fine with it. So I think she’d be perfectly fine with a gay son. As for my dad…well…we aren’t that close anymore, and I don’t know enough about him now to know how he’d react….And a part of me feels like he’s lost the right to have an opinion on the matter.”

I knew that Bryson’s parents were divorced, but I didn’t know the details. And before, I wasn’t all that curious, but now I am. Talking to Bryson Keller like this makes him more real.

“Sorry…if I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Don’t be,” Bryson says.

“How would Dustin react to knowing you have a boyfriend? Even if it’s only for five days?” I’ve never actually heard Dustin being homophobic, but then again, I haven’t really gone out of my way to spend time with him.

“Dustin’s really cool. Once you get to know him, he’s a lot different from how everyone thinks he is. He out of anyone has always been there for me, so I know he’d be there for me…if I was gay.”

    I stare at those last few words: if I was gay. That’s the truth of the matter. Bryson Keller isn’t gay. This is all just a part of the dare.

“Makes sense,” I say. “Well, anyway, thanks for being my first-ever boyfriend.”

“Don’t mention it,” he says. “You know, I really can’t believe how different you are right now.”

“That’s because right now I can be whoever I want to be. The real me. I promise to try to be like this in person, too. I mean, I only have four days left.”

“Yes! Better make them count. I look forward to getting to know the real Kai Sheridan.”

“Don’t fall for me for real, Bryson Keller. I’m quite charming.”