Darkness at the Edge of Town (Iris Ballard #2)(15)
“I knew it. I knew it! You don’t really care about us.”
I did a literal double take. “Excuse me?”
“Barely a phone call or an email in two years while you…dropped out. Every time I tried to help you, you just pushed me away without a single consideration as to how much it would hurt me. And it did, Iris. It hurt me more than words can say,” she said, her voice breaking.
“And I’m sorry, Mom. I am sincerely, honestly sorry. I didn’t do it to hurt you. I was lost and selfish and self-destructive, and I didn’t want anyone to see me like that. It would have broken your heart even more. But I do care about you, I do. I love you. And I’m here now. And I will not leave until I am positive Billy is safe. I promise.”
“Not if it puts you in danger too,” Mom said.
“Our options are limited, Mom. The police can’t help. Legally they have no cause to.”
“But your FBI friends. They—”
“Friend, Mom. Singular. And he’s under intense scrutiny right now. I can’t ask him to help, and as it stands I wouldn’t even begin to know where he should start. I have to do more digging, and to do that I have to go to them.”
“No! No,” she said, shaking her head.
“Faye, you called her up here to do a damn job; you can’t get pissed when she does it,” Grandpa said from the kitchenette.
“Then it was a mistake to call her,” Mom said, leaping off the couch. “You should just go home. Back to your life. We’ll figure something else out.”
Without even looking at me, she stalked to the front door, Khairo a few steps behind. At least he had the decency to turn back around. “I’ll talk to her. She does appreciate you coming here. She just…she was terrified when she found out you were tracking the Woodsman, then when you were attacked…” Khairo shook his head. “It really did hurt her when you pulled away so much after Hayden. Then with what happened last month and now Billy…” He shrugged.
I smiled sympathetically at my stepfather. “I know. I’m good. I’m fine.”
“Just be careful, okay? If not for your sake, then for hers.” He smiled back before walking out the door. They were gone. Thank God.
I sighed. “That could have gone better…and worse.”
“I adore her, but you know your mother can be a bit of a drama queen,” Grandpa said as he left the kitchenette. “But Khairo’s right. I’m not going to lie; it stung when you just checked out. All we wanted to do was help, and you didn’t even return our calls. There’s nothing worse than standing by as someone you love suffers and there’s nothing they’ll let you do to help them.”
“That’s one of the reasons I stayed away,” I said.
“Right. That was for us,” Grandpa said, staring me down.
Serial killers, terrorists, IRS investigators—their eyes I could always meet, triumph over, but not my grandfather’s. Never his. I looked away the moment he threw down the challenge. “I’m an asshole. I got it.”
“But you’re our asshole, dear,” Grandma said.
My grandparents shared a loving gaze only those who have been married half a century can. Like that of a true team. Grandpa returned his attention to me once more. “Are you really going back to that temple?”
“If you know a better way to find this farm and Billy, believe me, I am all fucking ears.”
“Just be careful, okay? We’re just getting you back.” He kissed the top of my head. “And we might have lost your brother, so—”
“You’re being as overdramatic as Mom. Billy is not lost. Not yet. And even if he were…I am living proof people don’t stay lost forever.”
“Not everyone is you, Iris,” Grandpa said.
I rose from the couch and half-smiled. “And thank God for that, no?” I squeezed his arm and smiled at Grandma before retreating into my bedroom.
After flopping on my bed, I sighed. I had no idea their anger and hurt ran so deep. I’d told myself for those two lost years that I was in quarantine to save them from further pain. That my misery wouldn’t infect them if I kept my distance. The truth was I barely gave them a thought for two years. I just wanted to be alone with my grief and rage. To wallow in it. It was comforting. It kept me from having to move on. Maybe Billy just needed some alone time too. Maybe those people were better for him than we were at that stage in his life. But if Luke hadn’t shown up on my doorstep to give me purpose and kick my ass, I’d have still been in that hole. It was time to pay it forward. I had a lot to make up for.
Danger be damned.
—
Well, I was sure in the mood for a party.
With pepper spray in my handbag—Grandma wouldn’t let me leave the house without it—and my guard so up I could work for the Queen of England, I parked on the street across from The Temple. There were over a dozen cars, older models, parked up and down the street. As before, people on the porch with red Solo cups chatted. Everyone looked so content, enjoying their conversations, enjoying each other. I took a moment to get into character. At least I didn’t have to hide my nervousness. I made sure my makeup and hair were perfect, as “Carol” would make sure to have them, before getting out of the car.