Damien (Slater Brothers #5)(88)
My gasp cut Damien off.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, reaching for his hand. “Bronagh mentioned they died, but not how, and now I understand why. Her parents died in a car accident, so she probably didn’t want to think about it in case it brought up bad memories for ’er.”
Now it made sense why she brushed the lads’ parents under the carpet whenever I mentioned them. It was a sore subject not only for them, but for her, too, because of how they died.
“Yeah,” Damien said, as he began to play with my fingers. “We just sort of ... floated around for a few years, then we came here and put down roots.”
“Why Ireland, though?”
Damien cleared his throat. Again.
“It was only supposed to be a vacation, really, but within a few weeks, we knew we wanted to stay. Ryder got us enrolled in school for our final year; we had been homeschooled up until that point.”
“Well, shite,” I said, shocked. “No wonder neither you or your brother could just blend in at school and get on with it without makin’ a fuss. You didn’t have the experience.”
“Yup.”
I studied his face.
“Do you not want to tell me this stuff?” I asked. “You don’t seem all that interested.”
“I’m interested in you, not my boring childhood,” he said, his lips curving into a smile. “Things only got interesting when I met you.”
“Puh-lease,” I tittered. “Interestin’ is the last word to describe me.”
“Oh, it’s up there,” Damien said, “but I know a few words that fit you just as well.”
“Like?”
“Elegant, smart, hard-working, beautiful, funny ... sexy as sin.”
He had echoed those exact words to me many years before, and it brought a smile to my face knowing he still thought all those things equaled to me.
“You think I’m funny?”
Damien laughed. “Yeah, baby, I think you’re funny.”
I relaxed against him.
“What was your ma like?”
Damien was silent for a few moments, and just when I thought he wouldn’t respond, he said, “She wasn’t like your mom.”
“Meanin’?”
“She wasn’t maternal.” Damien swallowed. “She wasn’t very affectionate and was mostly cold towards my brothers and me.”
My lips parted in shock. “Why?”
He snorted. “I spent my entire childhood trying to find the answer to that question, and I never found it. My mom and dad ... they just weren’t very nice people, but I couldn’t see that when I was a kid. I thought they were awesome.”
That broke my heart.
“I’m sorry, sweetie.”
Damien looked at me and smiled. “You sounded like Branna just then.”
“’Cause I called you sweetie?”
He nodded. “I was pretty torn up when my parents died, more so than my brothers because I needed the affection I never got from them, so naturally, I tried to get their attention whenever possible. I didn’t have to do that with Branna; she loved me and my brothers after she fell in love with Ry. She’s more of a mom to me than my real mom. Ryder is more of a dad to me, too.”
I swallowed past the lump that formed in my throat.
“I’m sorry you didn’t have a lovin’ relationship with your parents. I can’t imagine me life bein’ like that,” I said, squeezing his hand in what I hoped was a gesture of comfort. “I’m at odds with me da right now, but I still love him. It’s why hatin’ ’im hurts so bad because … I still love ’im.”
“He is your dad, baby,” Damien said gently. “I know this will be hard to hear, but what he did to your mom was between them. He is still your dad.”
I looked down at my lap.
“But she is me ma,” I said softly. “He broke not only her trust, but mine, too. He is the man I once would measure up me future husband against in hopes I could find someone as great as ’im, and I can’t do that anymore because if the man I grew up lovin’ me whole life could do what he did to me ma, someone who would die for ’im, every other man was always gonna come up short for me.”
“Even me?”
“I want to say no, but yeah, even you,” I answered honestly. “You could say this situation added to me already lengthy list of trust issues.”
I closed my eyes when Damien leaned in and kissed my head, his lips lingering for a few moments. I sighed, opened my eyes, and stared up at him. I loved his eyes. They were grey with a circle of white around each iris.
“I don’t mind spending forever assuring you I’m not going anywhere, freckles.”
My heart thudded.
“You shouldn’t have to, though,” I said. “That’s not fair to you.”
“Building a solid trust takes time,” Damien assured me. “Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
“Does that mean you have trust issues?”
“Not so much trust issues as straight-up fear.”
I sat upright and blinked.
“What are you scared of?”
“That things won’t work out between us,” Damien answered. “It makes me sick to think about it being a possibility, but I know it could be one, so I’m scared of it.”