Damien (Slater Brothers #5)(15)

I tried telling myself that I wanted him to walk away from me, I wanted him to be done trying to salvage some sort of bond between us, but then when he did those exact things, I panicked.

He had tried talking to me for months about what happened between us, but I shut him down every single time. And when he walked away from me, I wasn’t surprised that I was suddenly ready to talk. He had changed his mind, though; he didn’t want to talk to me or have anything to do with me. He just threw Dante back in my face, told me he was done with me, and walked away. Afterwards, I immediately went home and spent the remainder of the day crying over Damien.

Something I swore a long time ago I would never do again.

I knew I had done nothing wrong. I was a single woman who could have a relationship with whoever I wanted, but for some reason, the whole situation left a bad taste in my mouth. Not because I was ashamed of hooking up with Dante, but because of his connection to the group. He was my friend’s older brother, he was Kane’s future brother-in-law, and he was Damien and Ryder’s co-worker at C.A.R.—Collins Auto Repair.

I didn’t want things to be awkward with Aideen, and I was afraid they would be now that she was aware I’d been sleeping with her older brother. Damien and Dante were sure to butt heads at work, too. They never liked each other much before they started working together thanks to a big fight the Slater and Collins brothers had a few years ago, so any hope of them suddenly becoming best friends after how Damien reacted to my sleeping with Dante was off the table.

“Everythin’ is so messed up,” I said to the empty room.

I felt like I was being punished when I just wanted to not feel so alone.

Dante was the only other person on God’s green earth who I had been intimate with since Damien, but unlike Damien, I made sure not to form an emotional bond with him. Before, after, or during sex. It was for that reason alone that I had never kissed Dante, not even accidentally.

He knew kissing was a deal breaker for me and was more than happy to oblige that rule if it meant we could tangle between the bedsheets a couple of times a month. Dante joked about my ‘using’ him from time to time, but I knew he was content with our arrangement. He never pushed for more than I offered, and I never offered more than I wanted, and that had worked for us.

Until now.

I sat up and looked down at my phone when it pinged.

What kind of problem?

I sighed. The kind of problem that sees us returning to being just friends.

Barely ten seconds had passed before my phone rang, and a quick glance at my screen showed me it was Dante calling. With a groan and a shake of my head, I answered my phone, placed it against my ear, and lay back down.

“Hi.”

“Shite, you actually answered. I’ve been tryin’ to get in touch with you for days.”

I frowned. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to speak to anyone.”

“Babe, talk to me.”

My lips twitched. “I’m not havin’ phone sex with you.”

Dante barked a laugh. “That’d be weird since we’re just friends now. I mean, we are just friends now, right?”

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “I’m goin’ to need all the courage I can gather to face Aideen now that she knows. I think I’d die altogether if we continued as we were and she confronted us about it.”

“Alannah.” Dante chuckled. “Aideen is my little sister; she has no say in who I have sex with. Even if she was older, she’d still have no say. I’m an adult.”

“That’s such a typical brotherly response,” I said with a roll of my eyes. “She doesn’t care that we had sex; she cares that we did it behind ’er back. She is one of me closest friends, Dante, and she is hurtin’ because I basically lied to ’er.”

“How do you know she is upset?” he quizzed. “I saw ’er yesterday, and she didn’t look mad to me.”

“Did she speak to you?”

“Well ... no.”

“Look at you?”

“For a split second ... maybe.”

“Exactly. I saw it on ’er face when I told Damien I was sleepin’ with you,” I grumbled. “She wasn’t just shocked, she was upset, and I knew it was because she was left in the dark. It was the same look Bronagh and Keela gave me. They were upset I hadn’t told them. They didn’t voice it, but I know.”

“Alannah.” Dante sighed. “You don’t have to share everythin’ with your friends. You’re allowed to have a private life.”

“You don’t get it,” I said, frustrated. “Me and the girls, we’re really close. Nothin’ is off limits with us.”

It was one of the reasons I loved my friends so much. We could talk about anything, and until I kept my relationship with Dante from them, we had no secrets. I felt fucking awful because of that.

“D’ye want me to talk to me sister?” Dante asked on a sigh.

“It couldn’t hurt. Just talk to her, though. Not Kane, Ryder, and especially not Damien.”

“About that.” Dante cleared his throat. “I tried to talk to Damien about it at work yesterday, and it ended ... badly.”

I closed my eyes. “How badly?”

“He has a black eye, and I’ve a bruised jaw and busted up nose ... but that’s only ’cause of Kane—”