Daddy's Girls (29)
“God knows what she is. We may have her on our necks forever after this, trying to bilk us for money. That could be part of why he steered clear of her. Something big must have happened for her to give up custody, and relinquish her parental rights,” Gemma said, wondering.
“Maybe he forced her to do that,” Caroline said in a soft voice, having a lesser opinion of her father than either of her sisters. “But whoever she is, I don’t want to know her. She wasn’t here when it counted, and I don’t think we need the headache now of a brand-new mystery mother in our forties.”
“You’re only thirty-nine,” Gemma reminded her. “And according to my latest bio, I’m only thirty-five, thank you,” and then she turned serious. “Dad may have been tough, but he was an honest, honorable guy. He wouldn’t have ‘forced’ her to do anything. He never ‘forced’ us, even though he had strong opinions. He may have been responding to a bad situation out of necessity.”
“He pressured us into doing what he wanted. That’s as good as forcing us. He wanted everything his way, Gemma, and you know it,” Caroline countered.
“You never stood up to him, that’s why he pushed you around. You had to go toe to toe with him, he respected that.” Caroline was a small person, with a meek personality, especially in her youth. She had spent most of her childhood afraid of him, terrified sometimes, although he’d never laid a hand on any of them. But one look, his voice, his clear commands were enough to send Caroline scurrying into the bushes.
“You’re the only one who ever stood up to him,” she said to Gemma and glanced at Kate, who had never opposed him either, and always did his bidding, “and you’re the only one he would take it from.”
“I never gave him any choice,” Gemma said matter-of-factly and knew that what Caroline had said was true. It was the advantage of being his favorite. He put up with a lot more from Gemma than he had from the others. They had never gotten away with what she did, and they all knew it.
“Well, this isn’t about him, it’s about our mother,” Kate reminded them. “And about us.”
“Of course it’s about him,” Gemma interrupted her. “It’s about what the hell happened to make her disappear from our lives. They were divorced and we never knew it, and she’s been living in Santa Barbara for God knows how long, after he told us she was dead for the last thirty-nine years. I’d like to know what the hell happened, who and what she is, and why he lied to us for our entire lives.”
“That’s what I want to know too,” Kate agreed, and they could see Caroline shut down just talking about it.
“Well, I don’t. So you two can go. Count me out. If you’re going to Santa Barbara for that, I’ll stay here. You can tell me about it later,” she said, and took a long sip of wine. Kate noticed that her hand was shaking. The thought of it affected her deeply, just as the memories of their father did. He still upset her even now.
“Why do you get to go underground?” Gemma confronted her. “You let us do the dirty work of going to see her and you stay home? How does that seem right to you? You want to be a no-show as usual,” Gemma said harshly, annoyed about it. “This isn’t easy for us either.”
“I’m not a no-show. I just don’t need to open Pandora’s box and see what’s inside. She’s obviously not a good person if they got divorced and she abandoned us, and signed away her rights.”
“And how do you feel about Dad? How good was he to lie to us for all these years? I’d rather have known that I had a bad mother, even if she was in prison for murder, than to think I had no mother and she was dead. Maybe he needed to keep her away from us as kids, but he could have told us the truth as adults, and he never did. If he weren’t dead, and Kate hadn’t gone through his safe, we wouldn’t even know about her now, and we have a right to. Don’t you want to know about her for your kids? She’s part of their gene pool, and ours. What kind of woman is she? Why did she give up her rights to three kids? You weren’t even a child then, you were an infant. How the hell could she walk away from all of us? And what did he have on her if he made her do that? I think I’d rather know if I’m related to a murderer, wouldn’t you?” Caroline couldn’t even imagine Peter’s reaction, if that was the case. It had taken years for him to swallow her being the daughter of a cowboy, let alone of a murderess. He had finally let go of her humble origins and now she would be adding to it, if she told him. And she had finally earned her snobbish parents-in-law’s respect. She didn’t want to jeopardize that either.
“I think it’s pretty unlikely,” Kate said to calm them both, “that she’s a murderer. Maybe just a bad mother.” The discussion was getting heated, and she could see that Caroline was feeling cornered, which was how discussions between the three of them often ended up. Caroline was no match for Gemma, just as she hadn’t been for their father. Kate didn’t want her packing up and going back to San Francisco because Gemma badgered her, which was the way Caroline handled unpleasantness. She ran. “Look, Caroline doesn’t have to go. This is a free choice. Why don’t you and I go, and look around on an exploring mission,” she said to Gemma. “We might not see her or find her. She may have moved. She might not want to see us,” Kate said calmly, as Gemma nodded.