DONOVAN (Gray Wolf Security, #1)(111)

“It didn’t bother you that you never heard from her?”

“It broke my heart. I thought I was in love with her. But I figured if she couldn’t be bothered to call me, then I should move on with my life, too.”

JT turned to the window and stared out for a while. I did the same, trying to remember that summer, to remember the details that seemed to have escaped me for the time being. But all I could really remember was a blur of kisses and touches, of long nights tangled on that noisy old bed in our room, of the taste of beer and whiskey. All I could remember was the fun we had. I didn’t really remember the lack of money that forced us to call our parents more than once, or the lecture my father gave me when I stepped off the plane and he smelled alcohol on my breath.

“We were kids,” I said after a while. “We were having fun, not really thinking about the consequences. It never crossed my mind that I might have left Julia in trouble.”

“But you did.”

“I did. And I would have done the right thing if I’d known.”

JT lifted his casted leg and adjusted it on the pillow the flight attendant had once again provided him with. Then he sat back, his eyes moving everywhere but to my face.

“Would you have married her if you had known?”

“I’d like to think I would have. But you can’t really know what you might do until you’re actually in that situation.”

“Then you might not have.”

“I don’t know JT. I just…I really don’t know.”

I looked at him then, for just a second before he turned back to the window, blinking quickly as though trying to keep tears from falling.

“JT, I can’t rewrite history. I can’t go back and undo what’s been done. But I can tell you that the moment I found out about you, I did everything I could to track you down and get to know you. I want you in my life.”

“But she doesn’t.”

“Who?”

JT shook his head, but I could see tears streaming down his cheeks in the reflection in the window. I moved to the seat next to him and touched his shoulder.

“Who are you talking about?”

“My mother. She just gave me away like I was an inconvenience.”

“No, she didn’t.” I ran my hand over his shoulder to catch a tear with my finger as it rolled off of his chin. “Giving you up was probably one of the hardest things Julia had ever done. But she had no one to help her. Her parents threatened to cut her off if she kept you. and she had no job, no place to live, no education. What kind of life could she have given you?”

“We would have been okay. Penelope and I were.”

“But Penelope and Julia are two very different people. And Penelope had the help of the people in that little town where you live. Julia wouldn’t have had that.”

I tugged at his chin, forced him to look at me.

“Julia did the right thing, JT. As hard as it is for the two of us to accept, neither of us were in her position. Neither of us had to make that choice. But Julia did what was ultimately the best thing for you. And if she hadn’t, you never would have known your adoptive parents. You never would have had someone like Penelope in your life.”

JT looked away for a minute. Then he nodded.

“I know this is hard, JT, but we’re all doing the best we can.”

He nodded. “Are you going to make Penelope leave when my leg is better?”

“I don’t think anyone can make Penelope do anything she doesn’t want to do.”

JT laughed, a soft sound that had as much sadness in it as humor.

“You have that right.”

Unfortunately, I knew I was right. And I was afraid that whatever happened next, one of us would be disappointed with Penelope’s choice.





Chapter 25


Penelope

“You’re an artist.”

I looked up, amused by the surprise in her voice. I’d been sketching in a sketchbook I’d just bought at an art supply store while I waited for Libby to join me at the restaurant where we’d decided to have lunch. She looked a little disheveled as she skirted around my chair and plopped into the one across from me.

“Bad morning?”

She sighed as lifted the water glass sitting beside her plate and took a deep gulp.

“Harrison is a wonderful man, a great uncle, and an unbeatable CEO. I can’t even pretend to fill his shoes at the office. I barely got out of there between the constant phone calls and lists of must-dos that end up on my desk every morning.”

I carefully closed my sketchbook and took a second to slide it into my bag, not really sure I wanted to discuss Harrison with his sister. I wasn’t sure I was ready to discuss Harrison with anyone at the moment. I was still reeling from his pretty obvious attempt to tell me he had no feelings for me last night in that stupid convenience store. I mean, come on! I’d practically asked him if he wanted me, and he made a joke out of it.

It was pretty obvious that his feelings didn’t go much deeper than our shared enjoyment in the bedroom.

The waiter came over and Libby ordered a bottle of red wine that was worth more than the bakery made in a week. When she caught the look on my face, she asked, “You do like red, don’t you?”

“Of course.”