Crush(33)

Satisfaction filled the air. We were both breathing loudly when Logan propped himself up on his elbow. I turned as well, folding my arm under my pillow.

Gently, he ran his fingers through a stray piece of my hair that had fallen to the side. When he tucked it behind my ear, he sighed. “I want to come with you today to your sister’s funeral.”

Treading cautiously, I grasped his hand tighter and brought it to my lips. “Logan, you know you can’t.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want him there—I did. But those calls frightened me and I didn’t know what they meant but knew they had something to do with Michael and I. For now, Logan and I would have to remain a secret.

Taking his hands from mine, he flopped onto his back and put them behind his head. “I want you to tell him.”

I moved closer, stroking my fingers over his chest. “You know I want to, but the calls are freaking me out. What if they have something to do with Michael? Or what if when I tell Michael that I’m involved with someone, with you, it doesn’t go over very well?”

Logan was quiet at first, and I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.

“Hey,” I whispered.

Instead of answering, he looked over at me with a blank expression on his face.

“Michael not knowing about us doesn’t change anything. You know that, right?”

He scowled. “Yeah, sure I do. It’s just, it’s bad enough we have to be concerned about being seen in public. I hate that you have to tiptoe around him because you’re worried about him finding out.”

“Logan, even if the calls weren’t an issue, it’s too soon to tell him. Too close to everything that has happened. Think about it: what if I did tell him and then he started thinking about the drug bust? He’s not stupid; he could figure things out.”

Logan ran his hand down his face. “Even if he did, what does it matter? It’s not like he’s going to go to the cops.”

I willed my racing heart to slow down as I sat up and pulled the sheet with me. It was time to be honest. “Logan, I haven’t told you everything that happened those first three days we were apart that first week.”

He frowned. “What are you talking about?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat. “The threat of Clementine being kidnapped wasn’t the only reason I agreed to help Michael.”

Practically his entire body went taut. “What did he do to you?”

“Nothing,” I said quickly enough to keep his anger at bay. “It’s not what he did. It’s what he said earlier that same night he asked me for his help.”

“You mean the night when he asked you to commit a felony,” Logan said through gritted teeth.

“Logan, we’ve discussed—”

He held up a hand. “Just go on.”

I flinched at the coolness in his tone. “Well,” I stuttered before pulling myself together and just spilling it. “He alluded to the possibility that he could cut me out of Clementine’s life, forbid me from seeing her. And Logan, I can’t allow that to happen. You have to understand, I can’t do anything that might jeopardize my role in her life.”

Logan sat up abruptly. “What the hell are you talking about? He knows how much you love her. Why would he do something like that?”

Emotional warfare, I thought but didn’t say out loud. That would really send him reeling. My fingers curled into my palms as I spoke. “Before he told me anything about his plan, he let me know he was going to report Lizzy missing and then file for divorce. Then he said he thought it would be a good idea with everything going on if he named Erin as Clementine’s guardian.”

“His sister, the one with four kids? Not you? I don’t—” He stopped, narrowed his eyes, and clenched his fists. “Did he blackmail you?”

I shook my head. “No, not exactly. He was much more subtle about it. He started with the guardianship and then moved on to what he really wanted. He tried to convince me that Clementine’s safety was in jeopardy and that was why I needed to help him. But I saw through his words. The reason he told me about possibly naming his sister as Clementine’s guardian was so that if the kidnapping threat wasn’t enough to make me say yes, the hope of ensuring my place in Clementine’s life would be. And it worked, because I did help him. I had to. For her.”

Logan was up and out of bed faster than I could blink. Punching his legs into a pair of track pants that were folded on top of my dresser, he yanked them up and then started pacing the room. “You understand for any guardianship to be invoked something would have to happen to Michael, so all of his talk is a bunch of presumptive bullshit.”

The lawyer in him was taking over.

“I do understand that, but it was more than just the dangling of awarding me possible guardianship. There was an undertone to his words.”

Logan narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

Tangling my fingers together, I admitted what I hadn’t even really admitted to myself. “I just got the feeling that he was giving me a choice to make and if I made the wrong one, he was going to cut me out of Clementine’s life altogether.”

Logan slammed his fist against the wall. “Motherf*cking piece of shit. That’s it. I’m done with this charade.”

“Logan, calm down. Please don’t do anything stupid. Don’t jeopardize what I have with my niece,” I begged.