Crush(134)

Prick.

Hand on hip, the woman did a runway turn, like a schoolgirl in front of her bedroom mirror and started to walk toward them again. When she passed, Dawson nudged Lars. Comically, Lars got up and chased her.

My eyes settled on Dawson. There were so many guys in the club and they were just as handsome as the ones at that center table, but none of them were as eligible as those bachelors sitting together. None of them had ever been married, each was under thirty years old, and surprisingly, each was very gainfully employed. They were New York City’s biggest catches and every Eloise could only hope to land one of them.

Why had I been the exception?

“Stop shooting daggers his way. He’s not doing anything wrong,” Lily barked at me.

I blinked a few times, suddenly realizing I was doing just what she said I was. The shock I felt that Dawson would join that crowd looking for a meaningless hookup was quickly replaced by hurt.

Over the thumping bass of the music, Lily said, “Come on. You’re staring.”

I gaped at her. “I’m not staring,” I snapped.

She took my hand. “Hey, are you okay?”

I nodded.

“Do you remember why you broke up with him?” she asked.

I nodded again.

“Then let’s go.”

I didn’t move. “I just feel a little confused right now.”

Her grip around my fingers tightened. “I know. And you know I love you and I’m only looking out for you when I remind you again that you broke up with him for a reason, and a good one. So quit looking like you wish you were still together.”

My eyes focused on my best friend. “I don’t regret the breakup.”

She dropped her hold on my hand and moved to stand in front of me, blatantly blocking my view. “I know you don’t and you shouldn’t. He wasn’t right for you.”

I pursed my lips. “I wasn’t right for him.”

Her face filled with concern. “You weren’t right for each other. So why the sad face?”

I bit my lip in contemplation. “This is the first time I’ve seen him since he brought over my stuff. He looks happy.”

She grabbed my hand and squeezed it. “Good. Now you can stop feeling guilty.”

I nodded.

I wished it was that easy.

She turned on her heels. “Come on, tonight’s the last night we’ll all be together for a long time.”

With a genuine smile forming on my lips, I shifted my eyes to find our friends. Jamie was lounging in a booth on the other side of the VIP section. The neon lights from the disco ball above the dance floor flickered all around him as he took a large gulp of his scotch, maybe trying to wash down the bad taste of the last foreclosure he had to make that put someone on the street.

Emmy was filming him with a video camera, probably wishing she could film the two of them together. When we were younger, she had aspirations of going to Hollywood and being an actress. She settled on home movie production for the time being and brought her video camera everywhere. Her parents held her trust fund over her head to keep her in New York. Soon though, when she turned thirty, she would have complete ownership and then, we were sure, she’d be gone.

Logan was in a deep discussion over in the corner of the bar, about what was anyone’s guess—he never discussed his job or his life. Although a good friend, I knew very little about him. He was the quiet, secretive one.

A lot like me.

But his reasons for remaining quiet were different from mine—mine were internal, the way I felt about myself and this world of ours. His were more external. He’d grown up in two very different worlds and I think he struggled with which one he belonged in.

Danny made me laugh. He was dancing with some guy I’d never seen before. Throwing his hands around like a rapper, more than likely mourning the loss of his freedom. Always the happy-go-lucky one in the group, he’d recently joined the ranks of the employed, sitting beside his father and learning the ropes of the gaming industry that had made his great-great-grandfather billions. Of all of us he had held out the longest. Went on sabbatical after grad school to find himself but when he came back he found himself all right, right beside his tycoon father being groomed to run the family-owned business.

These people gathered here tonight were like my family. We grew up together, went to the same parties, to the same schools, and once upon a time we all hated the life that having money brought. Those days were long over. We’d tried our best to hold on to them, but life took over and crushed those ideals. We had all decided further education was the quickest and easiest way to avoid the family binds that awaited us. Me, it wasn’t the business I was avoiding. I just didn’t care what path I took and where it led. But none of it had mattered because when we graduated, whether it was with an MBA, law degree, or other certification, the family calling was inevitable.

Lily Monroe, textile heiress, was learning the apparel business that had been started by her great-grandfather. She loved to shop, knew clothing well, what fashions worked and what didn’t. She would make a great figurehead for the House of Monroe someday, but running the company didn’t interest her. Her goals were all short-term. She had become the true socialite of the group and hated working more than any of us. Her passion was ballet and what she wanted more than anything was to be a ballerina. But a knee injury in her freshman year at Julliard changed all that, and as time passed, Lily’s dream had too. I prayed Lily would never have to take over the family business like I had, and so did she.