Crazy Girl(5)

“You didn’t take lunch?” he asked as he ran his hand through his shaggy red hair.

“Thought I’d try to get some writing in,” I admitted, avoiding eye contact with him. I didn’t want him to see how defeated I felt. I hated that my brother had had to give me a job to help supplement my income from my failing writing career. I loved him dearly, and loved working with him, but it just felt like another check on the list of how pathetic I’d become.

Taz must’ve recognized the lack of enthusiasm in my voice because he said, “You’ll make a comeback, kid. I have no doubts.”

His words crushed me and melted me all at once. He was too good to me. I didn’t deserve him. “Thanks for the faith.”

Glancing up at my calendar on the wall near my desk, he squinted his eyes as he read my writing. “You having dinner with the girls, tonight?”

“Yes,” I moaned. I’d been looking forward to this dinner all week. Me and three of my closest friends were meeting for a girls’ night out.

“Well, have fun and tell everyone I said hello.”

“Will do,” I called after him as he exited the office.



Twenty minutes late, I hustled into the restaurant where the girls and I had agreed to meet.

“There she is,” Courtney announced to the others as she saw me approaching, causing everyone to turn and face me. My face flushed.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” I panted, still catching my breath from sprinting from the parking lot to inside. Geez, I needed to up it at the gym. We all hugged and everyone sat while I hung my purse on the back of my chair.

“The car wouldn’t start,” I explained. “My neighbor had to come over and jump it.” To add to my humiliation, when Ross had left, I’d not only had to sell my beautiful home, but I’d had to sell my nice car, too. Currently, I was driving an old beater car of Taz’s that he kept around for backup.

“Well, we’re just glad you made it,” Deanna said with understanding as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

Widening my eyes, I inhaled deeply and told myself to shake it off and enjoy my time with my friends. “I need a drink.” I stretched my neck as I scanned the area for anyone that resembled a waiter.

“Ordered you one when you texted saying you were almost here,” Courtney informed me just as our waiter placed a glass of wine in front of me. “We ordered meals, too. Got you your usual tacos.”

“Bless you, child.” I groaned as I took a long sip, closing my eyes, savoring the crisp taste.

Glancing over at Deanna, I tilted my head. She looked good, as always, with her sleek brown hair and big doe eyes, but she looked tired. “You okay?” I asked.

Waving a dismissive hand at me, she made a pfft sound. “I’m good, girl. It’s just been a long day.” I glanced down at the table and noticed only a half-drunk glass of water in front of her. I quirked my mouth in question.

“Just water, tonight?” I inquired. Deanna wasn’t a heavy drinker, but she usually had a drink or two whenever we went out.

Deanna smiled softly, her eyes darting from me to Kate, to Courtney. “Well,” she huffed, her soft smile widening into a grin. “I’m pregnant.”

Courtney, Kate, and I let out a series of squeals and shrieks as we jumped up and crowded our friend in an awkward group hug where she, more or less, covered her head with her arms to protect herself from us. We were jumping up and down like kids after a massive sugar high. Guests at other tables leered at us in our obnoxious celebration, but we didn’t care. This was the best news ever. Deanna and her husband Allen had been trying to conceive for years. They’d done several rounds of in vitro with no success. The last time was supposed to be the last time. They’d decided after all the time and money they’d spent that if the last round failed, kids just weren’t in the cards for them. It had been heartbreaking to watch them struggle through it all, which made this news all the more stellar. Deanna was a saint and would be an amazing mother. I was beyond excited for my friend.

We all settled back in our seats, our eyes glossy with happy tears and smiles plastered on our faces. Deanna’s cheeks became rosy, clearly somewhat embarrassed by all of the attention. But this kind of news deserved a big fuss. “I’m due in December,” she informed us, quietly.

We spent the majority of the evening talking about all things baby; names, gender, the love you feel for your child. Deanna was on cloud nine. She’d reached it—her prime—her happy place. Her life was finally rolling out the way she’d so desperately wanted it to. No one deserved a happy ending as much as Deanna. She was the calm of our little foursome, wise and steady. When the rest of us found ourselves in turmoil and on the verge of unraveling, it was Deanna that anchored us with understanding and the voice of reason. There was a softness to my dear friend that I envied. The world hadn’t hardened her. And while I wished so badly to have that, it felt more important for me to protect her. She was the good heart, the person you sometimes wondered why they were your friend and why they loved you so much because they are just that good.

And now she was having a baby.

I was immensely happy for her, but I couldn’t deny, deep down, I felt the slightest twinge of jealousy. I wanted to be in my prime—my happy place. I thought by now, at my age, I’d have children, too. Ross and I had talked about it, many times. But every year there just seemed to be a reason to put it off until the next year. Now, I guessed, it was a blessing we hadn’t had one. But none of that mattered now. The only thing that mattered was my beautiful friend’s dream coming true.