Conflicted (Everlasting Love)(47)

The ceremony passed in a blur. He stood at the right places, sat when everyone else did. He heard his daughter take her vows, watched her new husband lean down to kiss her, but nothing seemed real. He watched it all from a distance, as if a glass wall separated him from everyone else in the garden.

Then it was over and they were heading to the ballroom for the reception. People were stopping him, congratulating him, chatting him up, and for the first time in his life he was grateful for the need to socialize. It made the distance between Desiree and himself less noticeable.

The hours passed quickly. Food and liquor flowed freely, laughter and joy even more so. He had no appetite, but ate and drank because it was expected of him. Because Desiree’s eyes were on him and his stupid pride wouldn’t allow her to see how much he was hurting. The divorce had been his idea, after all.

He danced the first dance with his wife, the second with his daughter. As he held Willow in his arms and looked down at her glowing face, some of the ice that had formed around him melted.

“You look happy, baby,” he murmured as he pulled her close.

“I am, Daddy, happier than I ever thought possible.”

“Then I guess I’ve got to get used to the fact that you’re not my little girl anymore.” He kissed her cheek. “Things are changing so fast.”

A small frown appeared on Willow’s face. “She really loves you, you know.”

He stiffened. “I’m not discussing this with you, Willow.”

Her eyes narrowed, and for a moment she looked so much like her mother that it took his breath away. “Well, I’m discussing it with you. You hurt her, Daddy. I know you didn’t mean to, but you did.” She looked over at Desiree, who wore a broad smile that didn’t reach her eyes. “Can’t you see how devastated she is?”

“My relationship with your mother is none of your business.”

“It is when I see how sad you both are. Whatever you’ve done, it can still be fixed.”

“Whatever I’ve done?”

She sighed heavily. “Yes, Dad. Whatever you’ve done. I know she isn’t the easiest person to live with, that she’s obsessed with the ranch and the horses and the stupid Triple Crown. But…” She paused.

“Don’t stop now.”

She eyed him with unconcealed frustration. It was the same look she’d been giving him since she was two and he’d refused to let her ride one of the champion Thoroughbreds. He couldn’t help smiling at her impatience.

“I wasn’t planning to. You’ve got to remember she was raised by Big John. A lot of who she is and what she wants comes from him, whether she wants it to or not.”

“Willow—”

“All right, all right. I won’t say anything else.” But her eyes gleamed when she reached into a hidden pocket on the side of her dress. “But in exchange, I need you do me a favor?”

He eyed her warily. His youngest was not above subterfuge if it would get her her way. “What do you want me to do?”

Her smile was brilliant as she handed him a blue book. “Give this to Mom for me. I’m afraid I’ll forget and it’ll get lost.”

His eyebrows pulled together as he examined the book more closely. “What is it?”

“She’ll know. Just tell her thank-you and that I didn’t want to lose it.”

The music stopped. “I’m going to go find my husband.” She giggled. “My husband,” she repeated. “I really love the way that sounds.”

His smile was indulgent while he watched her walk away, but the indulgence quickly faded to puzzlement as he studied the book in his hands. There was no title on the front, nothing on the spine. What kind of book was it and what could be so important about it that Willow was carrying it around on her wedding day?

He cracked the cover and started in surprise when he saw the sloping perfection of Desiree’s handwriting. Eyes narrowed, he skimmed the first page, barely noticing the hollow feeling suddenly invading his stomach. Someone bumped into him and he shoved the book guiltily into his pocket before moving as far from the dance floor as possible.

He wanted to escape from the crowded room, leaving the festivities far behind as he settled down to read the words his wife had written so many years before. He wouldn’t, of course. Willow would kill him if he ducked out of her wedding festivities before she and her husband did. But the journal was burning a hole in his pocket despite his best intentions, commanding his attention when he should be focusing on socializing and making sure that everything was going smoothly.

He went through the motions for the rest of the evening, laughing with old friends and acquaintances. Talking a little business when he couldn’t avoid it. Dancing with his daughter and hanging with his sons when he could.

But eventually Willow and James left on their honeymoon amid showers of bubbles and good wishes. The guests slowly began to leave until only the cleaning and catering staff and his family remained.

“My God, my feet hurt,” Desiree muttered, slipping out of the four inch heels she’d been wearing for the last six hours.

“Mine, too,” commented Brooke, as she followed suit.

“Then why wear shoes like that?” asked Rio. “There must have been ones with lower heels you could have gotten.”

“But they wouldn’t have looked nearly as good,” answered his mother with a mock frown. “And you know us Rainwater women—we’re all about vanity.”