Confessions of a Curious Bookseller(90)
I have never left the country. I have never really been in love. I have never really been happy. There. Now you know me better than most anyone in the world. I have been ashamed that my business could not live up to the expectations I had put on it, so denial became an easy coping mechanism, as did lying to you about my life. I must admit that I had so much fun writing to you, creating all these wonderful scenarios that I wanted to be true. And I thought that perhaps someday it all would come true. Denial is the gateway to perpetual fantasy, and when you get deep enough into the fantasy, extricating yourself becomes an act of herculean proportions. It took many things to free me from this—things not even worth getting into. However, if you are still planning on coming to Philadelphia to visit the old Curious Cat Book Emporium, I would be truly humbled to have you meet Fawn Birchill. Perhaps then we can get into the nitty-gritty.
Gregory, you are a true friend, but a friend that still barely understands who I am. And that is my disservice to you. Please, consider meeting me. It would be an honor. I am sorry if I’ve made you angry, and I understand if you have no interest in continuing our correspondence.
Sincerely,
Fawn Birchill
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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT
The Curious Cat Book Emporium announces its Going Out of Business Sale this Monday, August 12, through Saturday, August 17. Every paperback 75% off. Every hardcover 60% off. Sales on already reduced prices!! Don’t miss out!!
THE CURIOUS CAT BOOK EMPORIUM
Blog Post #8
The Last Entry
Dear beloved customers (especially Sybil C.), fellow local business owners, and friends:
It has been a wonderful run, but with a heavy heart I must say my goodbyes. My life has been so full and rich, but I have found no happiness greater than the satisfaction of opening my store each day. How lucky and privileged I have been to serve each one of you. With my newfound freedom and a little extra cash from the building sale, I may just travel the world, searching out the geographical influences of writers such as Dickens, Conrad, Shelley, and Chekhov, to name only a few. Perhaps I will even write a book on it!
Please do not hesitate to come in and say your farewells as we wrap things up. Feel free to peruse one last time—we will be having some unforgettable sales.
I must stress that this is not a declaration of failure but a new opportunity. As many of you know, the Grumpy Mug Bookstop will be moving into this location and continuing its business as usual after the tragic events earlier this summer forced it to close. So like a phoenix rising from the ashes, we are not ending but evolving. I gave up the silliness of being Wiccan years ago, but I still hold on to the idea that all things are cyclical, ever changing, and therefore never truly ending.
I bid you all adieu and thank you for your years of patronage.
Sincerely,
Fawn Birchill
From: Florence Eakins
Sent: Fri, Aug 9, 2019 at 5:43 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: The bookstore
Hi Fawn,
Are the rumors true? Mom tells me that you are selling your store and traveling the world or something. Are you sure this is the right decision? I tried calling, but you didn’t pick up as usual. What is going on? Is everything okay? Can we talk?
Flo
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Fri, Aug 9, 2019 at 6:55 PM
To: Florence Eakins
Re: The bookstore
Florence,
Yes, the rumors are true. I do not have an exorbitant amount with which to travel, but I believe it will be enough to have fun and live a slightly bohemian lifestyle throughout. It would be lovely to live as Hemingway did in A Moveable Feast. The last time I read that book, I was filled with jealousy, for all that his protagonist did was drink and talk about literature all day! Clearly, he lived a highly evolved life. Sorry, you are not much of a reader and probably don’t know what I am talking about. Moving right along!
It was wonderful seeing you and Mother yesterday, and thank you for the impromptu and delicious barbecue on your patio. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Mother so happy. I’m not sure if it’s a direct correlation to our father’s passing or just the fact that we were all together with everything finally out in the open. Regardless of the reasons, it was wonderful to see. And it was so nice, as always, to see your boys and husband. It seems that every time I see Little Joe, his voice improves tenfold. He will look back one day and appreciate all that you sacrificed for him so he could reach his goals. Let’s just cross our fingers and hope it’s not all in vain and that he doesn’t become an accountant or something horribly dull like that!
I plan to see many countries and eventually settle somewhere—possibly England. While I’m traveling you are all, as always, more than welcome to visit me. And you’re absolutely right. I won’t really know if giving up my store is the right decision, nor do I know if it will make me a happier person, but I won’t know any of this unless I try.
One day I will return for another visit, but for now I will send you postcards!
Farewell for now, and much love to you and the family,
Fawn
From: Gregory Harris
Sent: Sat, Aug 10, 2019 at 7:18 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: This is I
Hi Fawn,
I’m shocked, but not as shocked as I thought I’d be, as I’ve suspected something was up through the years. Thank you for sharing this with me. I know it wasn’t easy. I know Fawn Windsor’s life was glamorous and lackadaisical; however, your life doesn’t sound so bad either. I think you are too hard on yourself. And, since we’re being honest . . .