Claiming Felicity (Ace Security #4)(34)

“Thanks,” she said softly, and brought the glass up to her lips.

He waited until she’d drunk half the glass, then put his hand on the small of her back. “Time for bed, love.”

She took a big breath, as if shoring up her courage, then asked, “Are you coming too?”

He eyed her critically.

Yeah, he wanted to be with her in her room, but it had to be her choice. And not because she was scared of Joseph Waters.

“He’s not coming back tonight,” Ryder said softly, meeting her gaze with his own intense one. “He can’t get in through the windows, they’re too high up. The only way anyone is getting into this apartment is through the front door. And even if that happens, I’ll be here to keep him from getting to you. I can sleep on the couch just as I have every night.”

“I know,” she said immediately. “I have no doubt whatsoever that if Joseph came through that door, I would be in absolutely no danger because you’re here. At one time in my life, I wasn’t afraid to ask for what I wanted. No, to demand it. But as the years have gone by, I’ve gotten more and more reluctant to do that. And it pisses me off. It’s ironic. I used to be the girl next door. Ready to take on the world. The harder I tried to be a badass, covering myself in tattoos, acting tough, dyeing my hair . . . the meeker I’ve become. It’s as if I’ve let Joseph win.”

Without looking, Felicity put the glass of water she’d been holding on the counter and pressed herself closer to Ryder. He didn’t even try to hide his body’s reaction to her closeness. His erection pressed against her stomach. When she didn’t pull away, but reached up and put both her arms around his neck, he immediately tugged her all the way into him so they were touching from their thighs up to their chests.

“I’m sick of being that person, Ryder.”

“What do you want, love?”

“You.”

“Be more specific,” he told her with a hint of steel in his voice. “I want you. Badly. But I’ll give you whatever you say you want. If that’s me taking you hard all night long, that’s what you’ll get. If you need sweet kisses and caresses, great, no problem. If all you can handle for now is me holding you, you got it. I can’t read your mind, though. You need to tell me.”

She bit her lip, and at that moment she looked like a nervous teenager on her first date.

“I want all of that . . . but I’m not sure . . . maybe just cuddles tonight? Baby steps? Is that okay?”

Ryder nodded immediately. “Of course that’s okay. We can sleep out here if you want,” he offered.

She immediately shook her head. “No. That couch sucks. I feel bad enough as it is that you’ve spent as many nights on it as you have. You’ve already seen my room. It’s stupid to pretend you haven’t. Besides, I need to tell you . . . well . . . everything. And I’d feel better doing it in my space. Where I’m comfortable.”

Ryder squeezed her waist and kissed her forehead. “Go ahead. I’ll be in shortly.”

She looked up at him. “If you hate my space, don’t tell me, okay?”

Ryder’s brows drew down into a frown. “Why would I hate it?”

She shrugged a little self-consciously. “I don’t know. It’s just . . . it doesn’t match the me I am now.”

Her words were awkwardly phrased, but he knew what she meant. “From the glimpse I got, I’d say it matches you perfectly. Now, go. I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He punctuated his words with a squeeze, then took a step away from her.

She looked confused about his words, but did what he ordered, reaching out to pick up her glass of water before turning and padding to her room.

Ryder immediately went to the front door and checked the lock. Then he grabbed one of the chairs sitting next to a small table and tipped it against the door. It wouldn’t keep anyone out, but it would make one hell of a racket if anyone tried to enter the apartment. Then he took the other chair and propped it against the guest-room door. As he’d told Felicity, Ryder was fairly certain no one could climb up the side of the building to get in through either of the bedroom windows, but he wasn’t going to take any chances.

Last, he went into the guest bathroom in the hall and got ready for bed, just as he’d done every night since he’d been there.

As he stood in front of Felicity’s bedroom door, he took a deep, calming breath. He felt as if he’d waited forever for this moment. At times he hadn’t been sure he’d be able to break through Felicity’s walls. But she was letting him in tonight. He’d make sure she didn’t regret it.

He turned the knob and stepped into her space. He closed the door behind him, locking it for good measure. Then he spun around and stared at the woman he wanted more than he wanted his next breath.

She was sitting in the middle of her bed, looking unsure. Before he lost focus, Ryder let his gaze swing around the room.

He’d seen her room earlier when he’d searched the apartment, but purposely hadn’t lingered, as much as he’d wanted to. Walking into her private space after being in the austere living area was like walking into the Garden of Eden after spending years in purgatory. The assault on his senses almost made him forget he was looking for any signs that Joseph Waters might still be in the apartment.