Chasing Shadows(63)

Well, if it had, then it sucked, royally. Again I thought of the unfairness of it all, wondered at the injustice of introducing such love and happiness into my life, giving me a future with someone, something I could look forward to, only to rip it violently away just days later, right when I had begun to grow accustomed to his presence. I saw then how even the most devout person could question their faith in a God that would allow such devastation to occur. I did not want that, did not want what was left of my soul to be tarnished by anger.

But then what was the point? Why did it matter if I was angry? Perhaps God had rejected me because I was part vampire—maybe we were soulless beasts after all. Maybe my torment was my Hell, and I was damned to live this way for the rest of my life. It would be so much easier if I could just get it over with, if I could just die, right here next to the man I had loved with every fiber of my being in only a few short days. If I was dead, then I wouldn’t wonder, I wouldn’t be angry, I wouldn’t be afraid, I wouldn’t be in this horrible, body-numbing pain, with only my grief and six pounds of canine to comfort me.

If I died, I knew my animals would be taken care of. I wasn’t worried about them at all. I could only think of how much pain I was in without Mark, and how much worse it would be if regeneration proved to be one of the stories that weren’t true. My grief was eating me up inside, and however much I wanted it to end, it seemed that I would not get my wish…that it would just go on and on, forever.



*****



I was startled awake by the sound of barking. Not even aware of having fallen asleep, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was dark in the room, either late at night or early in the morning. Moe and Cissy were on the bed with me, standing on Mark’s legs and barking at him.

It was then that I realized that I was feeling something different from him. Instead of the hollow emptiness I’d been feeling since the moment he had been stabbed, I now could feel a slight…well, buzzing is the only way I could think of to describe it. As I turned sharply to look down at Mark, I thought of a light bulb with its filament sparking, trying to come to life so that it could bring light to a room. Though I tried to quell it for fear of being disappointed, I felt hope ignite within me as I tentatively laid my hand on his chest, over the scar that now marred its perfect lines.

And then suddenly he took a loud, gasping breath.

“Mark!” I shouted, turning now so that I was kneeling beside him on the bed. I picked his hand up with my free one and held it over my heart, keeping the other over his as his heart began to beat, slowly at first and then steadily gaining rhythm. His breathing was shaky, but he was breathing, and feeling the movement of air through his lungs brought tears of joy to my eyes.

“Come on baby, open your eyes,” I encouraged him softly. “Look at me, Mark. It’s Saphrona, honey, I’m right here. I’ve been with you this whole time. Open your eyes and look at me, please!”

Slowly, painstakingly, his eyes opened, and he looked up at me with the faintest of smiles.

“Hey,” he said, his voice hoarse and weak. “I know you.”

“I know you, too,” I said with a laugh, then bent over to press my lips lightly to his.

“I had…the worst dream. At least…I think it was a dream,” Mark said. “I died, and you were begging me…to come back to you. And I was trying…but every time I got close…I would see this hand …coming at me with a knife in it.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” I said. “I’m afraid it wasn’t entirely a dream. Evangeline stabbed you in the heart, and you died. I couldn’t feel your life force anymore.”

“What?”

I blinked, wiping away the tears that had fallen. “I don’t know how to describe it. I didn’t even know it until it was gone, that I could feel your life force through the bond. When you…when you died, I felt so empty, so alone. All I could think about was that if you didn’t come back to me, I was going to have to die too, so that I could be with you again. I thought God was punishing me for being part vampire—I thought so many crazy things. And then, just now, I felt you coming back to life. I don’t know how, but I felt it. And now you’re here with me again, and oh, God, I love you!”

I laid myself across his chest, just holding him, reveling in the steady rise and fall of his diaphragm. Though he was no doubt very weak, Mark nonetheless raised his arms and brought them around me. “I’m sure God loves you, too, but what about me?” he joked lightly.

I sat up, giving him the lightest of swats on the arm. “You know darn well who I was talking to, mister. If you hadn’t just come back, I’d be only too happy to show you how much I love you. And I do thank God that you’re back, that we’re together again. Oh, just wait until I tell Juliette and Monica and Lochlan!”

“Speaking of, what did happen, Saphrona? Tell me everything.”

I opened my mouth to tell him the horrific tale, but before I could speak, the door opened and Lochlan appeared. A smile immediately formed on his lips as he took in the scene before him.

“Bless the Almighty!” he said warmly, walking across the carpet to stand at the side of the bed. “Thank goodness the reanimation story was also true, brother, and that you’ve come back to us. I daresay if you had not, our Saphrona would have followed you before long.”

Mark’s eyes showed his alarm as he heard this. “Saphrona, no!”

I looked down with a sad smile. “Sweetheart, we told you that could happen. That it probably would. Our histories tell us that once a vampire has bonded to someone, they find living without that person utterly unbearable. And it was unbearable, Mark—I couldn’t think about anything but you and how much it hurt to be without you. I couldn’t eat. I could barely sleep because I was afraid I would miss you waking up. In fact, I almost did miss it—it was Moe and Cissy here who alerted me to the change. Somehow they knew it before you’d even breathed.”

He took my hand and brought it to his lips, kissing the palm as he looked up at me. “I am sorry to have put you through that,” he said.

“Not your fault, brother,” Lochlan said bitterly. “Evangeline is the one to blame. She nearly did us all in.”

“That reminds me,” Mark said. “How’s my sister? Where’s Juliette? What happened?”

Lochlan and I exchanged a glance, and after Loch told him that Juliette was sound asleep in a room down the hall, I began to tell him everything that had occurred as I knew it. I tried leaving my emotions out of it, because I didn’t want to think anymore about what Evangeline had done. Where my voice trailed off and I faltered, Lochlan would fill in. Mark’s expression shifted several times, showing concern, outrage, and horror. When we got to the part in the story about witnessing Juliette’s rape, he said he almost wished we had left one of them alive, just so he could kill him and exact some vengeance on his sister’s behalf.

“Don’t worry about that, Mark,” Lochlan said, a ghost of a smile returning. “She got the last laugh in the end—she’s the one who threw the match that sent those bastards to Hell.”

As if just remembering why he had come, Lochlan then told me that Diarmid had woken just about half an hour before Mark. “I’ve been keeping him supplied with blood, or I’d have come when I first heard you shout,” he said. “For that matter, I’m surprised Juliette didn’t hear you.”

“What about Monica?” I asked.

Mark blinked. “My mother was here?”

I nodded. “She wanted to have a look at Juliette, of course, even though your sister called her to help with you—not that there was much could be done.”

“Monica went home last night. Charming woman, your stepmother,” Lochlan said, looking at Mark. “She still doesn’t quite trust me due to the whole natural enemies bit, but we have a truce.”

He put a hand on my shoulder. “Speaking of parents, Saphrona, our father would like to have a word with you. And now that your man is with us once again, surely you can spare a few minutes of your time.”

“Will it be safe for her?” Mark asked. “Didn’t you guys say a vampire is at his most dangerous when he’s waking from regeneration?”

Lochlan nodded. “Aye. He may be a bit restless from being dead for three days, but he’s had a few pints of O-neg and A-pos, and he has more blood on hand so he’s rather set for a while. No need to worry brother, Saphrona will be fine.”

I hesitated. Yes, Mark was awake, but I’d already missed three days with him—I didn’t want to miss another minute. At the same time, Diarmid had tried to help me, even if his efforts had amounted to very little. I supposed I owed it to him to hear him out. Reluctantly I nodded, and then I leaned down and gave Mark another kiss.

As I was easing myself off the bed, Lochlan turned to me, saying, “I’m going to check his vitals so I can give you an estimate on when he’ll be healthy enough for sexual activity—I know you can’t wait to start going at it again like rabbits.”