Chaser (Dive Bar #3)(55)
“I’ll settle for average things,” I said. “Great would probably take took much effort. ‘Eric the Adequate,’ that’s what they’ll call me. You’ll see.”
Mom smacked a kiss on my cheek.
“What about me?” asked Joe. Whiny little jerk.
“Don’t worry,” said Mom. “You’re both my favorite.”
I shook my head. “You always say that.”
“One day you’re going to have make a choice, Mom,” said Joe.
She pretended to think it over. “All right, I choose Alex. Alex is my favorite.”
I looked to heaven. “That’s cheating.”
“She’s my girlfriend, Mom,” said Joe. “Not your child.”
“We’ve welcomed her into the family. She’s basically my adopted daughter.”
“I can’t sleep with my adopted sister,” complained Joe. “Don’t be creepy.”
Mom cackled. Her own jokes amused her. I think I had inherited that trait too.
“You raised me slightly better than that,” said Joe.
“I’d hope so.” Mom smirked.
We’d grown up in this bungalow near Sandy Beach. The area had skyrocketed pricewise in the last decade or so. No way would we be able to afford it these days. If Mom and Dad ever decided to sell up, they’d probably make a tidy sum. It was a nice house. Though Mom was way more into pastels than anyone needed to be. I’d tried to talk her into modernizing the place, giving it a fresh coat of paint. Little had changed since Joe and I were kids. With the exception of Mom turning my room into a craft room and Joe’s into a dressing room for Dad. Apparently, Mom needed the bulk of the household cupboard space for her clothes and crap. I highly doubt Dad minded. Hell, he probably hadn’t even noticed. Football and building shit was Dad’s whole world. A big part of why we’d never really bonded.
“When do I get to meet your Jean?” asked Mom. “And her baby. Have you got any new pictures to show me?”
“Ada’s just started smiling, but I haven’t got a picture of her doing it yet,” I said. “And she’s not my Jean. She’s just Jean.”
“Jean who you’re very enamored with and about to get more involved with.”
“Who even says ‘enamored’ these days?” muttered Joe.
Mom ignored him. “Eric, you don’t sound like you’re ready to take that step with her.”
“It’s what she wants.”
“You know it’ll change things.” Mom watched me carefully.
“I know.”
“How would this work, exactly?” asked Joe. “Just out of curiosity.”
“Dude, you want me to explain the birds and the bees to you?”
In response, he gave me the bird. Quite fitting.
“No fighting at the table,” said Mom. “Go wrestle in the backyard if you must.”
“It’s too cold.”
“Yeah, Mom,” I said. “You trying to kill us from exposure or something?”
“Not right this minute, no,” she replied calmly, nibbling on a biscuit. “Eric, I want you to bring your new girlfriend and her baby to dinner some night.”
“She’s not my girlfriend, Mom. She was very explicit about that. Said she wants a platonic—” I checked myself before stumbling down that path. “Anyway, she just wants to stay friends and I want us to stay friends too. I’ve never really had a female friend before. Well, Nell and Lydia don’t really count. I’ve never been tight with them like I am with Jean. There’s a lot to lose if things go south, you know?” I shook my head forlornly. “It would have been better if she had never made the offer. The thing is just a disaster waiting to happen.”
“That’s very mature of you, darling,” said Mom. “Still, you need to think about the best way of politely saying no. You don’t want her to feel rejected, when you’re actually doing it because you value her friendship so much.”
“What?” I spluttered. “Say no? Why on earth would I do that?”
My brother burst out laughing. “As if.”
“The woman wants to have sex with me, and I’m going out of my mind over her.” I shrugged. “Besides, who am I to deny her? If everything goes to hell, it’ll obviously be her fault. I’m totally in the clear on this one.”
Mom just sat there, mouth open.
“Not that I would blame her or anything, because she’s one of my best friends,” I said quickly. “Got to look after her feelings and all that.”
“God, Eric turning down Jean.” Joe wiped tears from his eyes. “Like that would ever happen. He’s been hung up on her for months now. You’re hilarious, Mom.”
For a long moment, our mom said nothing. Finally, she picked up her cup and took a long sip of coffee, her gaze less than impressed for some reason.
“What?” I asked.
“Nothing, dear.” She sighed. “Nothing at all.”
*
Mom’s weirdness about the whole situation got me thinking. When I got back home, I texted Jean to see if she was up for a chat. It wouldn’t hurt to get a few ground rules established before we started bumping hips. Not that I wanted to delay the bumping of said hips. But with Ada’s unpredictable routine, it was possible we wouldn’t be hitting the mattress anytime soon anyway.