Chaos and Control(47)
Flashes of pain and fear shoot through my body, and I feel too vulnerable. I want to flee the room and disappear back onto the streets, but then I remember that this is Bennie. She is my rock and my everything.
“He beat me one night after he found a friend of his in our apartment. We weren’t doing anything, I swear. He was just waiting on Dylan to get home. But it didn’t matter. After that, I made a plan. A few days later, I drugged him with his own sleeping pills. When he passed out, I knew I had to move fast. I grabbed his secret stash of cash and took off. I got here three days later.”
Tears fall from Bennie’s eyes, and she pulls me in for a hug. I rest my head on her shoulder and wrap my arms around her waist. She smooths her hands over my back and holds me tighter. Suddenly, Bennie jerks back, her hands holding my face.
“You should have called, Wren. You could have asked me for help. I would have come get you or something.”
I shake my head as she drops her hands. “I couldn’t. I didn’t want to involve you, Bennie. Plus, I figured you were mad at me for leaving.”
“You’re my Wrenie. I’d do anything for you,” she says with desperation in her voice.
“I know,” I reassure her. “I know.”
“Is Dylan the guy who called the other day?” she asks.
“Yeah. And I got a postcard today. He must have known I would run, because I found a GPS device in my bag after I got here. It had to be him. I destroyed it, but he knows where we live, Bennie.”
She sits back against a stack of throw pillows wringing her hands, and I’m hypnotized by black nail polish and pale skin. “Do you think he’ll do anything?”
“I don’t know.”
Seeing, feeling, touching, tasting She gives me the gift of sight Watching her fall apart
Pulls me together
The sweet aroma of
Woman, lust, flowers, sweat Delivers a buzzing high
I’ve never known
She is my addiction,
A kinder word for obsession So tempting in her willingness So promising in her words Still my internal struggle Prevails and she leaves me Hard and wanting
What I cannot have
- Preston
Chapter Fifteen
Exodus
Though I want to tuck myself away and hide from the rest of the world, I want to see Preston more. After Bennie fusses over me and makes sure I’m okay, she heads downstairs. I take a long shower, standing beneath the spray until my skin is pink. When I’m finished, I swipe at the condensation on the mirror and study my reflection. The roots of my hair are showing, blonde fading into lavender. I’m okay with the way it looks. I’m back to my normal weight now, rounded curves where they should be, instead of jutting hip bones. It’s the first time in months that I’ve been completely bruise free. I push away the sadness and anger that accompanies that thought.
I put on my blue-jean cutoffs, my Beastie Boys T-shirt, and my boots—feels like I’ll need them today. I know they’re only shoes, but sometimes they give me the power to face things I don’t want to. Sometimes the worn leather and frayed laces make me invincible.
When I enter the store, Preston is helping a middle-aged lady with a vintage chair. Even though it is big and bulky, he has no problem picking it up and carrying it to the front of the store. Bob Marley sings of “Three Little Birds” as Bennie rings it up. Once the transaction is complete, Preston carries the chair outside to the woman’s waiting truck. He loads it in the back and straps it down for her. I stand next to the front counter and watch through the window as the woman offers him a cash tip for helping. He holds his hands up and shakes his head. She steps closer, holding the money out again. He says something to her, and she laughs. It’s not a that-was-really-funny laugh, it’s a throw-my-head-back-touch-my-cleavage kind of laugh. She’s flirting. Finally, she climbs in her truck and drives away.
Preston reenters the store, and I’m rewarded with a big grin when he finds me there. My instinct is to rise up on my toes and kiss him, but I stop myself. Even though we’ve rounded second base, I still feel this shy, reserved vibe coming from him. We stand a couple of feet apart, just staring, the lyrics of “One Love” passing between us. My mind replays our time together last night, and by the look on his face, he’s doing the same thing. I can’t help myself when I mouth the words silently. Let’s get together and feel all right.
“Hi,” he says.
“Hi. Did you handle that problem that came up last night?”
Preston’s eyes flick to Bennie over my shoulder, but she is immersed in her novel, face hidden behind the pages.
“I did.”
“Was it hard?”
He nods his head and smirks. “Extremely.”
“Well, I’m glad you took care of it.”
He checks his watch and gives me a slow grin. “I was about to go to lunch. You want to come with?”
My stomach flutters, and I nod. “Sure.”
“I’m just going to wash my hands,” Preston says, holding up his perfectly clean palms.
“Okay. I’ll wait here.”
He heads toward the bathroom at the back of the store. I lean against the counter and sigh, not even trying to hide the satisfied smile on my face.
“You guys need to work on your sexual innuendo,” Bennie says while trying to stifle a yawn.