Chances Are(25)

Hoping he could cut off this line of questioning without ruining things, he said, “That’s not a topic I want to talk about.”

She was silent for so long, he wondered if he had hurt her feelings. Should have known Angela wouldn’t back down.

“You feel responsible for her death.”

He dropped his arms from her and rolled away. “Let it go, Angela.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

Jake went to his feet and pulled his pants on, refusing to answer. And, as usual, Angela persisted. “Her death was tragic but you’re not to blame.”

Whirling around, he glared down at the too beautiful, infinitely desirable, and extremely irritating woman on the bed. “What the hell do you know about it?”

Angela hurt for him. She wanted to call him back to bed and hold him until the pain went away. Even if she made the offer, from the look of fury on his face, he’d refuse the invitation. She debated evading his question or being vague about her knowledge. She couldn’t do that. Though she had only this night learned she was a coward in certain situations, she refused to back away from this confrontation. Not facing the truth never accomplished anything.

“I know everything, Jake. You were a cop, protecting a witness—Suzanna Long. She was due to testify against a very powerful man in Chicago. Unfortunately several people in the police department were on his payroll, including your captain. Your house was bombed and Teresa was critically injured. You were at the hospital with her as she fought for her life. While you were on leave, others took over the case. Your witness was shot and killed on her way to the courthouse. And your wife died three days later without regaining consciousness.”

He stared at her as if she were some kind of foreign being. She hastily explained, “It wasn’t out of curiosity. I’m LCR’s main researcher. I create the files on all LCR employees. That means I—”

“I know what it means. I just—” He shook his head. “Hell, you must think I’m the stupidest person alive. Here I was thinking I had some semblance of privacy and you know every damn thing about me.”

“Because of my job, Jake. For no other reason.”

“Well tell me this, Miss Information Gatherer. Do you also know that Teresa was two months pregnant with our first child? Did you know I beat the hell out of two of the men responsible, almost killing them?”

She felt sick. “No, I didn’t know that.”

His smile bitter, he shrugged into his shirt. “Sometimes the most salacious parts get missed by even the best and nosiest researchers.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Yeah, life’s like that.”

His long strides took him out of the room in seconds and then she heard the adjoining door to his apartment open and then slam shut.

Angela dropped her head back onto her pillow. Running after him to apologize would be useless. Silly of her to feel guilty for having done her job—though it was clear she’d missed a few pertinent details. No, she shouldn’t feel guilty for knowing as much as she did. What she did regret was not telling him sooner. Maybe that would have made all the difference and this night would have ended with them still wrapped in each other’s arms.

She glanced at the bedside clock, amazed it was only three in the morning. She felt as if she’d lived a lifetime in just a few short hours. First her humiliating and career-ending panic, then her trip to the emergency room, followed by the incredibly erotic shower with Jake and the even more deliciously erotic lovemaking. And now the blow-up that put an end to their short romance, possibly even their friendship.

Exhaustion crept over her and she closed her eyes. Sleep was impossible. She had destroyed her career as an LCR operative. Had she lost Jake, too?





Chapter Fourteen

He was a prick and not proud of it. Jake knew he had no good excuse for the way he’d behaved. Angela had given him her beautiful body. Instead of feeling damn lucky, he’d berated her for knowing his shitty past. Of course she knew it. And if he’d been thinking with his head instead of his dick the last few months, he would’ve known that.

She’d had a hell of a day. A scare, the loss of a dream, and an injury to her hand. And he, being the selfish, horny bastard that he was, had taken advantage of her vulnerability. If McCall were here, he’d give the man permission to kick his ass. And he was quite sure his boss would be happy to oblige.

After storming out of her bedroom, Jake had spent the rest of last night alternately cursing his naivety and blaming Angela for not telling him sooner that she knew about his past. Why let the little fact that she had been doing her job get in the way of his hurt pride? A couple hours ago, he’d come to the humbling conclusion that he was an idiot. She had done nothing wrong. He should have realized that she had delved into his background. And instead of being hesitant to have a man who’d f*cked up so badly watch her back, she’d given him her total trust. Another humbling realization.

Yesterday had been all about bad judgment. He’d taken Angela to bed. Yes, it had been incredible, and so damn satisfying his sated body hummed with satisfaction and demanded more of the same. He couldn’t act on those wants though. It’d been a dumbass thing to do. There was no future for them. He had no plans to ever get serious with another woman, much less make any kind of long-term commitment. Giving in to those kinds of emotions wasn’t something he could allow ever again. Losing Teresa had dammed near destroyed him. If he let himself fall for Angela…Hell no, he couldn’t let himself go there.

And Angela would want more than some occasional hot sex. She would want a future and he couldn’t offer her one. She deserved to have everything she wanted—he just couldn’t be the one who gave it to her.

But what he had to give her before another moment passed was an apology.

He knocked on their connecting door. A day ago, he would have walked in uninvited. After his asinine behavior, he wasn’t sure of his welcome. She had every right to be pissed.

Instead of calling out for him to enter, she opened the door. Shadows lurked beneath her eyes telling him of her exhaustion, yet he saw no animosity in her expression.

She stepped back and said, “Come in. I just made coffee.”

“I—” Jake blew out an explosive sigh. “Hell, Angela, I’m sorry about the way I acted. You did nothing wrong.”

The smile she gave him was breathtakingly beautiful and full of understanding. “I should have told you before. I just didn’t know how.”

“And I was an idiot for not knowing.”

“I would never discuss anything I learn with anyone. After I compile my report, I hand it off to Noah. We don’t talk about it either.”

Jake nodded. Angela was the most scrupulously honest and open person he’d ever known. “I figured that. And I appreciate you believing in me enough not to turn down being my partner. Others might have figured I wasn’t up to the task since I failed to protect both Suzanna and Teresa.”

“Stop blaming yourself for the horrible acts of others. You did nothing wrong.”

Jake kept silent. He had trusted the wrong people and would regret that decision for the rest of his life.

“Help yourself to coffee. I’m almost finished packing.”

“I want you to reconsider your decision to quit.”

Angela had known this was coming. She had actually expected to have this discussion last night. After telling her about his early days in the Army, she figured he’d relate that back to how she had handled herself and try to explain away her ridiculous overreaction. Unfortunately, in the light of day, she still saw no correlation. At crunch time, he had come through for his country. She, on the other hand, had behaved like an untrained neophyte.

She shook her head. “I know what you’re going to say, so save it. My panic attack over something as simple as a kid on a skateboard showed me who I am. If the killer came after me, I’d probably get myself killed and possibly someone else, too. I can’t trust myself. You shouldn’t trust me either.”

“Hell, Angela, if you think LCR operatives operate without fear, you need to reevaluate your opinion of us. We might not go around talking about it, but I’d bet my last dollar there’s not one of us who hasn’t been scared at some point.”

“But that doesn’t stop you from doing your job. I was a basket-case, Jake. There’s no other word for it. If that had been a real attack, I would have failed miserably.”

Before he could object, she raised her hand and added, “Don’t try to talk me out of it. I know my worth as an LCR employee. It’s a role I’m comfortable with and excel at. That will be enough.”

“Will it?”

She turned away from the penetrating look in his eyes. One would think they’d be awkward with each other since only hours ago they’d been as intimate as two people could be. Instead those delicious hours last night felt as far away as if they’d been another one of her fantasies. Even though her fantasies had never been so fulfilling or wonderful.