Broken Kingdom (Royal Hearts Academy #4)(127)

“I never meant for that to happen.”

And if I could take back just one of the many fucked-up things I’ve done in my life…it would be that.

“But it did.” He stomps the floor and curses. “And that’s what fucking kills me. The fact that you could do all this shit and turn our lives upside down…yet I still fucking miss you.”

I miss him, too.

“I never meant to hurt Sawyer or Bianca, Cole.”

“I believe you. But it still doesn’t change the fact that you did.”

“I know.”

Something I’ve learned in AA was to take responsibility for your mistakes and apologize to those you’ve wronged.

Draw in a heavy breath, I look at Jace and Cole. “I’m sorry.”

“I know you are, and I’m gonna get over it one day.” Cole scrubs a hand down his face. “In the meantime, promise me you won’t do something stupid because losing you would…I’m not gonna fucking say it because I’m not a little bitch. Just don’t be an idiot, okay?”

I won’t feed him false promises. Not anymore.

I hold his stare. “I won’t look you in the eyes and lie to you again.”

I’m almost to the door when a fist goes flying into my face.

Glowering, I shove my assailant. “Goddammit. What the fuck, Jace?”

“That was for screwing my baby sister and lying about it.” He punches me again. This time in the mouth. “That was for almost killing her.”

He goes to strike me again, but I spit blood at him. “You only get one of those in your lifetime, motherfucker and you just cashed in. Twice.”

I get his anger—and his need to assault my pretty mug—but I’m sure as shit not gonna stand here and be a punching bag for the rest of the night.

If he does it again, I’m gonna start throwing fists back and he doesn’t fucking want that.

Relenting, he backs up. “I won’t apologize for punching you, asshole.”

I snort. Everyone knows Jace doesn’t apologize for shit.

“Don’t expect you to, douchebag.”

“I also won’t apologize for cutting you out of my life. It needed to be done.”

Duly noted.

“Is there a point to this, or can I go?”

Jace clenches his hands into fists. “Dammit, Oak. I fucking hate you right now, but I’m not letting you leave this fucking room until you look me in the eyes and promise you won’t go after Loki.”

That’s a promise I can’t make.

“I can’t—”

A fist goes flying into my face. For a third time.

“Goddammit, asshole,” I roar, lunging at him.

He grabs me by the collar and shoves me against the wall. “You fucking owe me.” The anger in his eyes is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. “I’ve been putting up with your shit since we were kids. The alcohol and drugs, the seizures because of it. All the stupid shit you get yourself into—like screwing around with your stepmom, selling drugs to Dylan’s best friend, messing around with Bianca behind my back, and then almost taking her from me. The list goes on and on. Point is, I’ve demanded a lot of shit over the years, but I’ve never looked you in the eyes like a man and begged you for a damn thing. Except now. Now I’m begging you not to go after Loki.”

I’m not sure why the fuck it matters to him so much.

“Why—”

“Because you’re family,” he roars. “I was destroyed after I lost Liam. The grief was so bad I didn’t think I would survive it, but I had to go on for Cole and Bianca.” Taking a step back, he grunts. “I lost Liam and Dylan in the span of a day. I thought things would always suck and I’d be miserable forever. Until I met this crazy new kid in town who latched on to me like a lost puppy. A kid who did dumb shit, but always made me laugh. A kid I could talk to about how much it hurt to lose my mom and Liam, because he fucking got it.”

I start to speak, but he pushes me. “I lost a brother, but I also gained one the day I met you. So I’m begging you not to go after Loki, because if you die I’ll be destroyed again and I don’t think I can take that.”

Fucking hell.

Jace has always been important to me—Cole, too—and I considered them my family, but I never knew he felt like I was his.

The sound of someone sniffing has us both turning to Cole.

Jace’s expression twists in horror. “Motherfucker, are you crying?”

“Nah, man,” Cole says, rolling his shoulders back. “They got some onions up in this bitch or something.”

Jace and I start howling with laughter.

“Sawyer must keep his balls in a jar on the nightstand,” Jace jokes. “Right next to her Bible.”

“Dammit. I’m telling you, it’s the onions,” Cole argues.

“It’s okay, man,” I tell him. “I love you, too.”

Cole’s demeanor turns serious. “Does that mean you won’t go through with it then?”

“Which is it, Oak?” Jace gestures to himself and Cole. “Your brothers…or Loki? Because you can’t have both.”

I want my revenge on Loki so bad I can fucking taste it.

But I want my family back even more.