Broken Kingdom (Royal Hearts Academy #4)(121)

Crystal shoots me a dirty look. “Clarissa Jasmine.”

C.J. it is.

“Can I hold her?”

Her stare travels over my face, focusing on my eyes. It’s obvious she’s checking to see if I’m high.

“For once your pupils don’t look bloodshot,” she remarks before she passes her over to me.

Whatever nerves I felt disappear the second she’s in my arms and I want to kick myself for staying away for so long. I was scared I’d feel bitter or jealous, but I don’t. It’s the complete opposite. She’s awesome.

I watch in amusement when C.J. yanks on the pink bow Crystal must have stuck in her hair at some point. I can’t help but laugh as she grunts in frustration when it doesn’t come out.

“She’s beautiful.”

Crystal beams as she leans over and secures her bow. “I know. We made a good-looking kid.”

My chest twists like someone stuck a knife through it.

Because I’ll never know.

Crystal had a miscarriage with our baby. And while that was in no way her fault—what was her fault was using me to get knocked-up so she could play it off as my father’s while she tried to convince him to ship me off to military school and live happily ever after.

Fortunately, my dad shot military school down real quick.

Unfortunately, Crystal lost the baby that would have been mine soon after that.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t briefly wonder if I was C.J.’s father when I found out Crystal was pregnant again, but then I realized the timing didn’t match up so she couldn’t be mine.

Conceding to her plight with the bow, C.J. gives me a big happy grin that showcases her chubby cheeks and the three little teeth inside her mouth.

But that’s not what makes it hard to breathe.

While C.J. mostly takes after Crystal…that big cheeky grin of hers? That’s all my dad.

Fuck. I miss him.

Whomp…there it is. The unmistakable pang of guilt.

I want to confess. So fucking bad.

But I don’t want to be the one responsible for putting the proverbial nail in the coffin of his marriage with Crystal.

He loved my mother—so much so I know he never really got over her—but she hurt him too much.

Hurt us both too much.

I don’t want to destroy whatever happiness he thinks he’s found with Crystal and tear his family apart.

I look down at my baby sister and a sharp twinge of protectiveness surges through my gut.

I want better for her than I had.

C.J. deserves to have two parents.

Therefore, it’s best I find a way to get along with Crystal and keep this secret buried for the rest of my life.

“I’m Oakley,” I tell C.J., not that she’ll understand.

Giving me another cheeky grin, she starts babbling incessantly, telling me a very intense baby story.

Then she clasps her hands around my face and I hear it.

It sounds a lot like Uh-oh instead of Oakley, but I’ll take it.

“Uh-oh works too, kid.”

Fuck knows I’m just one giant uh-oh waiting to happen.

Crystal smiles. “She’s so smart. She’s always trying to say every new word she hears.”

No surprise there. My dad is one hell of a brainiac. Clearly my apple fell off the tree and landed in a goddamn ditch somewhere, but it’s good to know C.J.’s didn’t and she’ll be able to make something of herself.

Before I can stop her, she reaches for my necklace and sticks it in her mouth.

“Clarissa Jasmine, stop that.” Crystal rushes to remove it from her mouth. “You don’t know where that’s been.”

I have to stifle a laugh when C.J. ignores her mother and does it again.

“Don’t worry, it’s my girlfriend’s,” I tell Crystal as I remove it from C.J.’s mouth. “She’s clean.”

Except when we’re in bed. Then she’s my dirty girl.

Grinning, I look down at C.J. “Can you say Bian—”

“I really don’t want you talking about your little w-h-o-r-e-s in front of my child.”

The tiny hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “My girlfriend isn’t a whore.”

Unlike her, I don’t spell out the word.

Beside me, Crystal tenses. “Right.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to remind her she was once on my roster too, but I don’t.

Out of respect for C.J. not Crystal.

“She’s not,” I grit through my teeth. “She’s smart and—”

I stop talking because I don’t know why I’m telling Crystal about Bianca in the first place. It’s none of her damn business.

Hell, I should be thanking her for doing a number on me, because I ended up with something so much better.

A ride or die girl that will always have my back.

And unlike Crystal, Bianca would never pull some shady shit.

Crossing her arms, Crystal makes an irritated sound in her throat. “If you say so.” She sighs. “I have to go switch out the laundry. Can you keep an eye on her?”

“Sure.”

She starts to walk away but pauses. “You can put her down if you want. She likes playing on the floor.”

“Okay.”

The moment Crystal walks away, I plop down on the couch. “Want to play on the floor, C.J.?”