Broken Beautiful Hearts(82)

Earth and rocks raining down on me.

“You can do this. I know you can.” Owen tugs my fingers gently, but my feet still won’t move.

The quicksand rises another inch, and my heart thrashes in my chest.

Owen offers me an encouraging smile.

I wish there was a way to let him inside my head so he would understand why this is so hard for me without me having to tell the story. I never talked about it with Reed. Tess and my mom are the only ones.

But I want to tell Owen.

“I—” My voice wavers. “I’m not claustrophobic. My dad died in a tunnel. His team was under a hotel in Iraq. There was an explosion, and the tunnel—” My voice cracks. “It caved in.”

Owen immediately pulls me against his chest and hugs me. “I’m so sorry.”

Tears burn my eyes, and I bury my face in his jacket. I choke back my tears, but I can’t swallow them all. “I don’t know the details, but none of them made it out.”

He kisses the top of my head. “It must be hard not knowing.”

“I don’t want to know. My mom and my uncle have been trying to tell me since the day it happened. But I can’t handle it. I already have nightmares.”

Owen hugs me tighter. “Maybe what you’re imagining is worse than what really happened?”

“Or my version isn’t nearly as horrible.” I hesitate. “I hate talking about it. My best friend, Tess, is the only person I’ve ever told.”

“What made you tell me?”

I pull away. “I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure, or you’re scared to admit the reason?” Owen puts his finger under my chin and gently turns my face toward him. He dips his head and kisses me softly. “Why is it so hard to admit you have feelings for me?”

“Because…” I try to turn away, but there’s nowhere to go. I rake my fingers through my hair and flip it to the side in an unsuccessful attempt to hide my face.

“Are you going to finish that sentence?” He isn’t letting this go.

I’m raw from talking about Dad and I can’t find a way out of this conversation.

“Because if I admit that I have feelings for you then I’ll have to do something about them!” I blurt out. “There. I said it. Are you happy now?”

He’s smiling. “On a scale of one to ten, I’m at about an eight.”

“Stop.”

“I can’t.” Owen’s expression turns serious. “If I stop, I’ll never find out why you won’t give us a chance. What are you so afraid of, Peyton?”

“You don’t understand. I can’t afford to make any more mistakes. I’ve already made too many.”

“So this thing between us is a mistake?” His eyes search mine. “Because the way I feel when I’m with you feels like the opposite of every mistake I’ve ever made.”

I don’t want to admit the truth, not even to myself. But I find the courage to say it.

“Me too.”





CHAPTER 34

Battle Scars

OWEN THREADS HIS fingers through mine, and we circle around to the front of the mill. After trying, and failing, to conquer my tunnel phobia and telling Owen about the way my father died, my emotions are fried. I’m ready to get into bed, crawl under the covers, and call it a night.

But not until I find Grace.

As we clear the tangled overgrowth snaking up the corner of the building, I see a pale circle of lantern light in the darkness.

I squeeze Owen’s hand. “There’s someone near the entrance.”

What if it’s the person who was following me?

“One of the football players probably came outside to puke.”

“Owen?” Tucker calls out.

“Or it’s Tucker,” Owen says.

“Is that you, man?” Tucker asks he walks toward us.

“Yeah. What are you doing out here alone?” Owen asks.

“I’m not alone.” Tucker’s lantern light bounces in the darkness. As he gets closer, I make out the silhouette of someone walking beside him—a girl.

The girl steps into the light. It’s the pretty cheerleader Tucker has a crush on. What’s her name? Nicole? Noelle?

Tucker stands next to her, grinning like the happiest guy on earth. “This is Owen and his”—he catches himself—“our friend Peyton.”

It sounded as if he was about to introduce me as Owen’s girlfriend. I’m sort of disappointed that he didn’t.

“I’m Natalie,” the girl says brightly. She’s wearing Tucker’s quilted zip-up jacket, and it’s big on her. She looks at me. “You’re Grace’s friend, right?”

“Yeah. It’s nice to meet you.”

“I thought you were going to hang out with Christian or Cameron until we came back,” Owen says.

“We were, but they’re sorta busy,” Tucker says. “That’s why we were looking for you two.”

“Busy doing what?” I’m not sure I want to know.

“Your cousins went looking for Grace. She was sitting in Cameron’s truck and when she saw the Twins, she locked the doors. Your cousins were trying to get her to roll down the window and talk to them, but she wouldn’t.”