Broken Beautiful Hearts(73)
By anyone, we both know I mean him.
“Why? Because you’re going back home? You’d be going to college in the fall anyway.”
“I just can’t.”
“But you did feel something. Right?”
I can’t lie. My heart is beating so hard he can probably hear it. And I don’t want to lie to him about anything else.
“What do you want me to say?” I look away and watch the leaves rustling on the tree branches outside.
He presses his fingers against my back. “I want you to admit that you felt something when I kissed you. I need to know I didn’t imagine it.”
“I felt something, but it doesn’t matter. Whatever this thing is between us, it can’t happen. So I’m trying not to think about it, and you’re making it really hard.”
Owen’s hand grazes my cheek, and he tucks his finger under my chin and gently turns my face toward him. “I don’t think I can turn off the way I feel about you. I wasn’t looking to get involved with anyone, either. I’m taking off as soon as I graduate to backpack around Europe and Asia.” He hesitates. “But I can’t help it. Every time I look at you, all I can think about is holding you and kissing you. Making you smile.”
It takes me a second to recover. “We’re attracted to each other. Sometimes that happens with friends.”
I’m trying to reason away my feelings, and I’m doing a terrible job.
Owen traces my jawline, and his fingers trail down the side of my neck. His hand pauses there, his thumb against my shoulder and his fingers curved around so they’re touching the back of my neck. It’s the way you touch someone before you pull them in for a kiss and I want him to kiss me even though I shouldn’t.
“If you really don’t want anything to happen between us, I’ll back off. But it’s going to be hard, and it’s not what I want.” He rests his forehead against mine. “And it’s been a long time since I’ve wanted anything. But if you don’t want a boyfriend, I don’t have to be your boyfriend. I’ll take whatever I can get.”
I pull back just a little. “I don’t want to get hurt again.”
Owen takes my face in his hands, and his lips brush against mine. “I promise I won’t hurt you.”
Part of me believes him.
CHAPTER 29
Lie to Me
OWEN DROPPED ME off an hour ago and I’m lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I can’t stop thinking about the way his hands felt on my skin—how it felt to kiss him and hear him whisper my name. My genius plan to keep my distance and not let him get too close was a total fail.
My phone vibrates.
I hope it’s Owen.
I check the caller ID, but it’s not him. I don’t recognize the number, but it has a DC area code. It has to be Reed. I should ignore it and let the call go to voice mail. But there’s something about him calling now that sets me off, as if he knew I was feeling amazing and he had to ruin it.
“What do you want?” I ask without confirming that it’s Reed.
“Peyton? It’s so good to hear your voice. I didn’t think you’d pick up.” Reed sounds sweet and heartbroken, which is impossible since he doesn’t have a heart.
“What do you want?” I ask again.
“I want you to come home. Lucia said your mom sent you to a fancy rehab center for athletes and you aren’t coming back for five or six months, or something crazy.”
I actually smile. Only Lucia could figure out a way to torture Reed. When I get home I’m going to buy her the reddest lipstick I can find.
“You don’t need to worry about when I’m coming back. Nothing has changed. I didn’t want to see you before I left, and I still don’t.”
“I miss you.”
“Get used to it.”
“Tess misses you, too.” He’s trying to manipulate me.
But what if he’s not?
“Don’t call me again, Reed.” I hang up before he has time to say another word. He calls back two seconds later, but this time I don’t pick up. I add the number he called from to a long list of blocked numbers.
Does Tess really miss me? Because I miss her, especially when something amazing happens. She’s still the first person I want to tell.
Maybe she’s ready to listen.
I take a chance and hit speed dial on my cell. The phone rings three times. Either she’s not around or she still doesn’t want to talk to me.
I’m about to hang up when someone answers.
“What do you want?” Tess snaps from the other end of the line. It doesn’t sound like she has had a change of heart.
“I want to talk.”
“Does that mean you’re ready to explain why you lied to me?” The anger in her voice takes me by surprise. It’s the tone Tess uses when she talks about her father, a man she hates.
“Tess—”
“I’ve thought about this over and over, and maybe you weren’t trying to hurt me, and I was just collateral damage.” A hint of sadness creeps into her voice, and for a second she sounds like my best friend again. “It’s the only explanation I can come up with that makes any sense.”
Not the only one.
“Sometimes relationships change people and make them do stupid things,” she says. “Is that what happened?”