Brightly Burning(66)

“I’ve never been kissed like that.”

“And I’ve never kissed anyone like that.”

“Liar.” My tone was playful but earnest. That was not the kiss of a novice, even if its recipient was.

Silence again for a moment then. “Mechanically, maybe, but the feeling behind it . . .”

I laughed, then caught myself. “I don’t mind that you’ve kissed other people. It’s just weird that you want to kiss me.”

A pause.

“Stella, you’re going to have to let me in so I can kiss you again.”

“You’re outside?”

He knocked lightly on my door to prove it. I leaped up and across the room with embarrassingly desperate speed. Then, suddenly vain, I dashed into the bathroom to check my reflection, even though Hugo had just seen me exactly as I was. Still, I decided to make one change. I pulled my hair out of its bun, letting a tangle of locks cascade over my shoulders.

I opened the door, breathless. “Hi,” I offered uselessly, unable to suppress a smile.

“Hi,” Hugo answered, smile tugging equally hard at his lips. He leaned against the door frame expectantly, waiting for me to make the next move. But I found myself frozen, too many questions hanging in the air.

“I’m still half convinced I’ll wake up tomorrow and you’ll have run away.”

“You’re one to talk,” he shot back. “Running off in the middle of the night to help ailing aunts.”

“Last time you ran off, you came back with Bianca Ingram.” I arched a brow. “What was that about?”

Hugo grimaced, a satisfying mien of guilt passing over his features. “I was confused. And, um, I sort of wanted to make you jealous. See if you liked me as much as I liked you.”

I narrowed my eyes to slits. “That is incredibly stupid.”

“I’ve realized that now, yes.”

“You owe Bianca an apology. You led her on.”

I found myself crushed in a hug, Hugo’s warm timbre reverberating against my neck. “This is why I love you. You’re far kinder than I am.”

I wriggled out of his grasp, made uncomfortable by the unmitigated praise. “I’m not a saint, so don’t make me into one. I just can imagine if she feels a fraction of the way I did that she’s probably miserable. I think she really wanted to marry you. She turned down all her other suitors, you know.”

“Did you become friends when I wasn’t looking?”

“Junior staff talks.”

“About me?”

“Often.”

“Did you defend me?”

“Sometimes.”

A cloud passed over Hugo’s face, both of us thinking about Hugo’s darker corners. The drinking, gambling, keeping the Rochester’s secrets. I thought of these things, at least. Hugo did not dwell on them, the storm passing quickly, the sly upturn of his lips back, eyes staring without pretense at me, my hair, my body, my lips. I knew what he wanted.

I wanted it too.

But I wanted answers more.

“How do I know this is real?”

He cupped his hands around mine, insistent but gentle. “I know that I’m terrible at feelings. I’ve not had the best role models. I thought for a long time I was better alone, but then you came along. And I don’t think that anymore.”

I leaned into him, tipping my face up to his, taking the initiative this time. The kiss was likely chaste by Hugo’s standards, but it was the first that I controlled—?the pressure, the length, where hands went. And it was bliss.

“I’m glad you came back,” Hugo husked against my lips as we pulled apart. Our foreheads touched, limbs hopelessly entangled.

“I promised.”

“Didn’t mean you would.”

I kissed him again. “I always keep my promises.”

“I’m figuring that out.” He pulled away, breaking our embrace, leaving me cold. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Why tomorrow?”

“Because I can’t stay any longer tonight without doing something I’d regret.”

The admission practically burned my cheeks off, but it certainly did its job. I said good night, though I was sure I wouldn’t fall asleep anytime soon. I was wide awake, my brain running through a dozen scenarios of what the next day, then weeks, months, years might bring, my body thrumming from the adrenaline. When I did finally sleep, I dreamed of Hugo.


I floated through the next day, heart in constant threat of beating out of my chest. It was a feat not to burst into song in front of everyone, herald the news. Somebody loved me.

That somebody stubbornly stayed out of sight all day. I looked for him around corners, in the dining room, while I was teaching Jessa, like his declaration last night magically meant he’d change his routine. I was acting the fool, and I knew it. A fool for love.

I practically flew to the study after dinner, though just as I was about to lay my hand on the OPEN button, I hesitated. What if I walked inside to find the old Hugo? Mysterious and friendly, blowing hot and cold. With a deep breath, I went in, preparing myself for the worst.

Hugo turned from his spot in the middle of the room where he must have been pacing, a dopey grin overtaking his features. He bounded over to me, pulling me into a hug, which morphed into a kiss. We kissed our way backwards, an awkward tango over to Hugo’s chair, where I ended up straddling his lap. After a minute or two, I finally managed to get a few words in edgewise.