Brightly Burning(44)

It was the last of a bitter cocktail I needed to swallow. This wasn’t a normal visiting party. It was a courtship ritual. Bianca and Hugo were intended for each other.


Chapter Fifteen


I fled the drawing room with the same lack of fanfare as when I had arrived, making excuses to Lizzy and slipping silently out into the hall. I sought out the stars, craving their communion in my despair. I went right to the bridge, not only the best spot for a panoramic view of the stars but also one that I knew would be empty at this time of night. Xiao had long since gone to bed, and none of our guests would dare intrude on their hosts’ command center. I made my way through it, past the outer ring that housed Orion’s comms station, into the darkness, led by the light, until there was just the captain’s chair and a bank of tab controls between me and the view beyond. I sat in the chair, in his chair, which offered a perfect viewpoint through the expanse of windows. And I said something akin to a prayer. A plea.

“Please don’t let it be true.”

But I knew in my heart that it was. That soon I would lose the only place I’d ever truly felt happy, welcome, and wanted. I couldn’t possibly stay here, not once Hugo and Bianca were married. I said it out loud to make it true. “I will leave when Hugo and Bianca are married.” The words turned to ashes in my mouth.

And then I did something I hadn’t done in a long while. I talked to my parents.

That’s how Hugo found me, prattling away at triple-paned glass like a madwoman. “Stella, is that you?” I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of it, cursing under my breath. “Wait, are you in my chair?” I jumped again, this time up and onto my feet. And there he was, Hugo in all his glory—?tall, broad shoulders, furrowed brow—?shadows and lines that made me want to draw him. An expression that made me melt.

“I looked up and you were gone. I wanted to talk to you. Say a proper hello.”

The evening’s earlier humiliation came rushing back. He ignored me in front of company and was talking to me only now, when no one could see. “Why would you want to talk to the lowly governess?” I replied with more petulance than I intended. Hugo laughed.

“Oh, Bianca is an idiot. Don’t mind her.”

“Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? Bianca?”

“No, of course not.” He frowned. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m fine,” I attempted breezily, but it came out tight. “I have your book, by the way. I would have returned it to the study, but unfortunately I found once you’d left that it was locked.”

Hugo’s eyes searched my face, which I kept steady in challenge. “Of course. I’ll collect it from you promptly.” All softness and humor had left him.

“Thank you. I should be going to bed. It’s far past my bedtime.” I swept past him and immediately regretted my coldness, but as I turned back to apologize, I stumbled right into Bianca Ingram. She jumped back from me like I was a demon, shrieking that I should watch where I was going. Then she turned to sweetness and light as Hugo came up behind me. He ignored me and beamed at her, piercing my heart in two.

“Hugo, darling, you must walk me to my quarters. A girl could get lost in this place,” Bianca trilled. He obliged, offering her an arm so that they might stroll to their destination linked. We walked in near unison, me five steps ahead of the couple until they tapered off at what I assumed was Bianca’s door. I was happy to lose them.

I slowed to a stop in front of Hugo’s old door, dwelling briefly on that night just a few weeks ago. The fire, the panic, Hugo leaning sweaty against me, half naked. I lingered too long, snapped out of my reverie by a giggle and a voice that was gratingly familiar.

“Come on, Hugo! I want to see where you sleep.”

I hurried to my door, making it just in time before Bianca and Hugo came around the bend. They passed me, because of course Hugo’s old room was out of commission until they replaced the window and salvaged the room. But then they stopped just one door down, on the other side of me.

“Your room is next to the governess’s?” Bianca said. I shared her surprise. I hadn’t realized Hugo was still my neighbor. “How gauche.”

Finally, I opened my door, stepped inside, and promptly shut it behind me so I wouldn’t have to hear their courtship go on. A stampede of emotion bubbled up from inside me with nowhere to go, so I settled for penning a quick message to George before I went to bed.


Dear George,

If I’ve done the math right, today should be your eighteenth birthday. I can’t believe I’m not there with you to celebrate. We had plans! I hope you’re off somewhere doing something insanely fun, which is maybe why I haven’t heard from you in a while.

I finally saw that nun musical you told me about, and you were right—?I really loved it. So did Jessa. You should have told me the captain was so handsome. I would have watched it sooner. Stop making whatever grossed-out face you’re making right now.

Things here are . . . different. I don’t know why I thought things would stay the same way forever, but I guess I did. Now we have this group of people here from the private ship Ingram, and they’re pretentious, rich jerks that I have to tiptoe around. It’s like the Empire, except this time I’m an employee, so I really can’t mouth off. George, you would hate all of them. There is one funny thing—?do you remember a girl from the Empire named Preity Khan? She works for the Ingram and says she remembers you. Said you were obnoxious, so I knew it was true. Kidding.