Bone Crier's Moon (Bone Grace, #1)(110)

He fights to speak. “Ailesse . . .” His eyes start to roll back.

“Bastien!” I hold his face. “Stay with me! Please!”

His muscles go limp. His eyes shut.

“No, no, no.” This can’t be happening. I kiss his lips. He doesn’t kiss me back. My head falls onto his chest, and I clutch him tighter. I can’t breathe. Broken sobs won’t let me. “How could you?” I shout at my mother.

She sweeps closer, glancing at Bastien with false pity. “Because this time I knew you would not die if I killed him.”

I’m so horrified I can’t speak.

“Sabine, bring Ailesse her true amouré.” My mother stands tall. “Ailesse has a rite of passage to complete.”

Sabine’s mouth falls open. She doesn’t move. I balk at my mother. How can she even suggest such a thing right now? Bastien is dead. Soon I’ll see his soul and have to say my final goodbye— because of her.

A wildfire of rage ignites in my veins. I grab the knife and jump to my feet. I race toward her, my pulse pounding in my ears.

My mother holds up her hand. “Ailesse, think—”

“I hate you!” I swing the knife. She leaps over me. “Nothing excuses what you’ve done!”

She ducks my next attack. “One day you will understand. It was better to break your heart.”

Her cruelty is revolting. “Because my heart means nothing to you?” I slash out again. She sidesteps me.

“Don’t be irrational. I told you, I love—”

“Love isn’t love if you never show it.” I lunge at her. She strikes my forearm. My hand whips back from the force, but I keep hold of my knife. I swing for her again.

“Stop!” She kicks my legs out from beneath me. I tumble to the ground and slide to the edge of the bridge. I barely catch myself from falling off.

“I did what I had to.” My mother sweeps a loose hair off her face. “You were never meant to feel my anger.”

I scoff. “Were you so upset I wasn’t good enough for you?”

“No, Ailesse.” Her tone grows impatient. “I was angry with the gods. You were a constant reminder of what they stole from me.”

Furious tears scald my cheeks. This is why she’s been indifferent to me all my life? Because she loved another man instead of my father? I’m on my feet before I know it, faster than my mother for once. When I slash my knife out again, it cuts a deep line across her arm.

She sucks in a harsh breath and reflexively slaps my face. Hard. Stars burst before my eyes. I bend over, reeling.

“Stop it! Both of you!” Sabine shouts. Dazed, I turn my eyes to her. She’s still on the ledge and holding Cas at knifepoint. “Ailesse, she’s our mother.”

I blink at her. What did she say? Dizziness racks my head. My ears are playing tricks on me.

“No!” Sabine cries a warning. Sharp pain lashes across the nape of my neck.

Acute weakness overcomes me. I stagger on my feet. My hand flies to my collarbone.

The pouch with my grace bones is gone.

“I am sorry.” My mother wraps the pouch’s cord around her hand, then steals my knife while I gape in shock—Bastien’s father’s knife. “I know of no other way to calm you. You are not yourself.”

I lunge to grab back my weapons, but my knees buckle. I crash to the ground. My muscles shake from the strain of all my fighting tonight.

My mother drops the knife and kicks it backward. It spins toward Bastien’s lifeless body and the blood pooling beneath him. My throat tightens as I hold back another sob. I need to ferry him to Paradise. His soul will rise at any moment.

“You must understand, Ailesse.” Odiva kneels before me. “I was bound by a pact I made with Tyrus. I have tried my best to protect you, but he demanded terrible sacrifices of me.”

My eyes water. “And am I one of them?”

She presses her lips together.

“Am I?” My heart struggles to beat. “Did Tyrus ask you to kill me?”

Her chin quivers. “Yes.”

“Oh, Ailesse . . .” Sabine’s voice carries my heartbreak.

I squeeze my eyes shut against deep-rooted pain. My darkest fears hiss through my mind: You’ve never been enough for your mother. She doesn’t need you.

I grind my teeth together. No. I refuse to listen to that voice any longer. I won’t be a vessel for poison. I open my eyes and stare back into my mother’s wretched gaze. Her hypocrisy is astounding. She’s made me suffer because the gods stole her love, but she did the same thing by killing Bastien. I won’t let her take away anything more from me.

With great effort, I rise to my feet. I steady my shaking legs. I have strength of my own. I’ll use it without seeking to impress my mother. Without leaning on the graces I earned to make her believe in me.

A silver owl swoops in through the rift in the ceiling and circles around me. Her outspread wings shine in the light of the full moon.

I hear Sabine gasp. My mother’s pale skin turns ash gray.

Confidence steels bone-deep inside me. I haven’t seen the owl since she showed me a vision of Sabine before the last ferrying night. She’s a sign of hope.

I roll my shoulders back. I’ll avenge you, Bastien.

I’ll avenge myself.