Bloodline(53)

She steps ahead of me. She threads her way through the crowd. I follow. At the door, I hug her. In the reflection of the front window, I catch Amory staring at me with such naked hate it feels like a punch, but when I turn, he’s wiped the expression off so completely that I wonder if I imagined it.

But I know I didn’t.

I am in way over my head.





CHAPTER 37

“You’ll want to join us on June 1,” Catherine says. It’s a foregone conclusion.

“What?” I ask.

Regina left forty-five minutes ago. The table is cleared, the dishes are done, and the kitchen is clean. One of the women—I’m not sure which—has even thought to make little tinfoil packages of leftovers for everyone to take home, a delicious pocket of ham and potatoes. The guests are filing toward the door. The evening is almost over.

Soon, I can lie down and close my eyes.

But then the women turned on me. Almost as if they had it planned.

“Join you for what?”

“Mothers’ initiation,” Dorothy says, hand going to her bare neck before she catches herself. “I mentioned it while we were preparing dinner.”

I am positive she did not. And I want to destroy that damn necklace now.

“We hold it the first of every month,” Mildred says. “It’s been a while since we had anybody to initiate, though.” She looks to the other women for confirmation. They ignore her. I am struck by how very much like a high school clique these Mothers are. Mildred is the hanger-on, Dorothy the leader, Barbara the heart, sharp-faced Catherine the enforcer, and Rue the brain.

“That’s a very kind offer,” I say. I don’t feel strong enough to turn them down.

Clan Brody nearly crashes into our ladies’ circle. I put out Regina’s wine with dinner. He drank that like water and then pulled out a bottle of his own whiskey. The sour smell rolls off him in waves. It mixes with his sweat and creates something oversweet. I swallow a surge of bile.

Clan holds his arms out toward me. The green grip of nausea tightens.

“Thank you for having us,” he says, his words slurring.

I think he meant to whisper in my ear, but he’s too loud.

I step back. “You’re welcome.”

The women are shifting, fluttering, birds again, not sure how to handle this interloper in their nest.

Clan glances at my stomach, the gesture exaggerated, like his head is perched on ball bearings. “The town can’t wait for that little one.”

Catherine grips his arm, her fingers sinking deep into his flesh. “Yes.” Her bright-chip eyes lock on mine. “We’re all so excited.”

She starts pulling Clan toward the door. It seems she’ll get him home without a further scene, but at the last minute, he swivels and lurches back to plant himself in front of me. Where are the other men?

“You look like your mother, you know,” he says, his voice blurry.

I hold myself as still as stone. “My mother’s not from around here.”

“A Mother,” Catherine says, her words like a punch, but whether directed at Clan or me, I cannot tell. “He said you look like a Mother, and we couldn’t agree more. That’s why we want you to join us on June 1. Make it official.”

Clan is swaying, and all the women are smiling and nodding at me. I have the sudden sensation of falling. Light reflects off the glass of Mountain Red Mildred is clutching. The smell of the wine, though, the red liquid shimmering thick and salty like blood, pushes me over the edge. I do not even have time to excuse myself. I barely cross the threshold of the main-floor bathroom before I drop to my knees and vomit into the toilet.

I throw up with such force that I worry I’ll eject the baby. I flush and vomit some more. When I’m completely empty, shuddering, I push myself to my feet and wipe down the toilet. I check for the necklace, which is taped safely behind the tank. Knowing it’s there grounds me. I won’t destroy it. I’ll use it like a talisman.

I don’t have a toothbrush in this bathroom, so I can only rinse my mouth with water. I catch my expression in the mirror. I look like a haunted-house version of myself, too-short hair tufted around my ears.

When I step out, everyone has left except for Ronald and Barbara. Barbara pats me on the shoulder. “Are you all right, honey?”

I nod.

“Don’t worry about Clan,” Ronald says. “He has a drinking problem. We’ll talk to him.”

I nod again. Did they stay around to tell me that?

When they leave, Deck brings me a Valium and a glass of water.

I swallow them both and let him lead me to bed.

I slip into sleep, no longer worried about getting my story.

Now, I wonder if I’ll get out of this town alive.





CHAPTER 38

Deck lies heavily on his side of the mattress. There’s an ocean between us. I want to reach over and touch him. I want to return to the days when we would tease each other, and make love, and explore Minneapolis. I don’t know when precisely the world shifted so it’s him against me, but we’re no longer on the same team.

The Valium, or maybe the pregnancy, or possibly the pressure of everything makes me cry. I think I am so quiet that Deck doesn’t hear me. But then, he bundles me into his arms.

“You don’t like it here.”