Blood and Kisses(34)

She stood bent over for a moment and put out a graceful, accusing hand. Blood dyed her palm and fingers like henna on a bride.

Her eyes changed color. The velvety brown he’d compared to polished agate became the sparkling blue of a sunny tropical sea. Now it wasn’t Inanna standing there, her arm outstretched, begging for mercy.

It was Thalia.

Her face was bleached white with pain. Her body shook. Tears spilled from her eyes and streaked her lovely face.

She collapsed, a sapling slain by a violent summer storm.

Blood pooled on the thick carpets, streaming into the thirsty sand.

He wiped his stained blade and left her without a backward glance.

And it began again.

What had he done?

Gideon opened his eyes and looked over at Thalia. She lay on her side, one hand pillowing her rosy cheek like a child. The dream faded, but its ominous message gripped him, twisting his stomach into a knot. He raised his hand and glided it an inch above her shoulder and down to her hip, reassuring himself that this was real. She was here. She was safe.

He brushed a strand of hair away from her temple, her scent rose to his nose, musky and sweet. He wanted her again. His body was already hardening in response. He didn’t think he could ever get enough of her.

He wanted more than just sex, though. She warmed him like the distantly remembered sun, banishing the cold that had encased him for so long. He wanted to bask in her warmth, to bathe in the sunny rays of her attention, but all those reasons he had dismissed in the heat of passion leaped back.

Yes, he’d been able to control the monster. This time. But the heat that warmed him also drew the monster. He couldn’t take the risk that he might hurt her. And even if he could control himself, she would age while he stayed young. Sure as the sun rose each morning, he would lose her, and when he did...

“Gideon?” Thalia awoke, a radiant smile on her face. He turned away and began to pull on his clothes.

If he looked at her, he might weaken.

“Gideon, what’s wrong?”

“This can’t happen again.”

“What? Why not? I’m not asking for a lifetime commitment.” Thalia held out a beseeching hand, reminding him hauntingly of his nightmare. He could hear the stunned hurt in her voice.

He hardened his heart. This was the way it had to be.



Thalia studied his rigid back, her throat tight with distress. She knew this couldn’t last, but she’d thought he might at least consider an affair. “Why can’t we just enjoy what we have?” Thalia was proud of the steadiness of her voice while inside she felt herself shatter into a million tiny shards each smaller than the last. Perhaps it had been pity. The thought sent an icy wave of pain slicing through her.

“Because you are a poisonblood.”

Thalia flinched. His words were like a fist squeezing her heart. She pressed her lips together, swallowing a gasp.

“And I am a monster.”

“No.” She reached out to him.

“Yes!” One powerful hand raised to forestall any further interruption; he turned away from her, an imposing shadow in the dim room. “There’s so much you don’t know about me.” He seemed to go inward, moving away from her toward the dressing table, his face reflected in its large round mirror. His eyes were so dark they looked like deep pits in the planes of his face. “As a human, I committed acts that would disgust you. I disgust myself.”

Taken aback by the vehemence in his tone, Thalia bit her lip. Tears seared the back of her eyes, but she refused to let them fall. Her hand covered her mouth, partially obscuring her mark. The man’s lament, “It’s not you. It’s me.” What they really meant was, of course, “It’s you.” The ache in her chest robbed her lungs of air.

Gideon took a step closer to the mirror. His eyes met hers in the glass before falling away. “I was born in the Middle East in the days before Babylon, before Sumer. We called ourselves the Kurut. You won’t find us in any history book.” He smiled without humor. “We weren’t important enough. My name was not even Gideon then.

“I was the son of a powerful king, but I was a sickly child, and my father had little fondness for me.

“His reign was tumultuous. He was forced to execute several of his relatives for roles in various plots to steal his crown and his life.” Gideon shook his head. “Maybe he thought me a threat. In any case, he sent me to war at only thirteen.” He gave a short, bitter laugh. “I suspect he was hoping the rigors of army life would kill me. Instead, I grew strong.

“I took on any challenge, determined to be the best. The army seethed with rivalries and I faced many foes. In the beginning, I arranged to have them disappear. Later I killed them in combat on the battlefield. In a few years, I led our army.

“With me at the helm, my father’s empire flourished and so did I. When I returned, at the age of eighteen, to Elilu, our capital city, my physical stature equaled my political power.” He sighed. “After foiling an assassination attempt sponsored by my father, I brought the army to the city and deposed him.

“I had him paraded through the streets before I ordered him beheaded in front of his former subjects, and his head displayed on the city gates. A message that, if they conspired against me, even my closest companions would not be safe.” He rested his forehead against the glass.

Thalia let out a shuddering breath. The pain in her chest eased. He truly believed he was a monster, but she knew differently. Nothing he could say would convince her he was anything but a man who had grown up in cruel and chaotic times. His body language, as much as his stark words, revealed a pain that went bone-deep.

She ran to him and put her hand on his strong shoulder, but he shrugged it off.

Stung by the snub, she let it fall to her side and stood silently behind him.



Gideon felt as if another spoke with his voice. He’d never intended to tell her the whole story, but now that he’d begun, it gushed from him like blood from a wound. He found himself reliving the pain and isolation of those days.

“That’s only the beginning. Like my father, my family was my greatest threat. By the time I was twenty-three, I had quashed five different plots against me, the last led by my own half-sister.” He exhaled violently as he remembered the anguish of that betrayal, but the words spilled on.

“I held my remaining family at arms-length, and poured myself into expanding and improving my empire. Many paid for my ambitions with their blood. I had roads built, libraries, palaces, monuments. Elilu became the crown jewel of the area, but it was never enough. My kingdom was as real to me as any human, but I was still alone.”

It had all been so long ago. Longer than a hundred lifetimes, but he remembered it all as if it were yesterday. The broad tree-lined streets of Elilu, the stone buildings gleaming white under the hot sun.

He had planned every avenue, every side street. But as much as he’d loved it, it had never been enough.



“And then, I fell in love.”

Thalia stiffened. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear this. “Gideon.”

“No. Let me finish.” His eyes took on a faraway look. “Inanna was as beautiful as the goddess for which she was named. Her skin was the color of cream with just a drop of honey. Her hair was like the finest silk, her eyes, agate dark. She breathed life into my universe and taught me to trust again. She was everything good and pure, or so I thought, and she soon became as necessary to me as the beating of my heart.”

A single tear slipped past Thalia’s control, and she dashed it away with the back of her hand. Was it vital to the story that he tick off a laundry list of his love’s superior qualities in quite so much detail?

“Despite the camp followers and concubines I had known since I’d reached adulthood, and the generous offers of neighboring kings, I had never taken a wife.”

She didn’t think she needed to hear this part either.

“I arranged our betrothal and planned a wedding. It was a spectacular event. Elilu abounded with visitors and foreign dignitaries who had come for the wedding. I stood there in front of the huge crowd, and with the greatest joy, proclaimed my love for Inanna, and she proclaimed her love for me.

“But as soon as the ceremony was complete, a courier rode into town with grim news. A neighboring king had decided to take my wedding as an invitation to attack, and rapidly advanced in the north. This man was Akos.” His name sounded like a curse. “I had no choice but to ride out immediately. I spent my wedding night alone with my army on the road.

“Days passed. Seasons. A year. I yearned for Inanna every night and did not sully myself in the arms of another. Finally, I could not wait any longer and I sent for her.

“At last, we had our wedding night. She was all I’d imagined, her sweet purity as rare as the precious diamonds of the Indus. I was madly, blindly in love.

“I should have sent her back to Elilu, but I thought surely this conflict would be over swiftly. After all, I had defeated Akos many times in the past. He and his people were little more than nomads.