Blood Sisters(72)

‘Yes,’ I croak. ‘That’s me and … Kitty.’

‘You look like such a sweet, sensible schoolgirl.’

‘But I wasn’t,’ I say. My words come out like a sob.

He gives an I don’t believe it smile. ‘What do you mean?’

The mug of coffee is burning my hands. I think of Crispin’s scarred face. ‘I can’t say.’

He walks over to me and puts an arm around me. His face is close to mine. I can breathe him in. Smell him.

‘I’m here if you want to tell me,’ he says gently. ‘And if you don’t, that’s fine too.’

So I do. I confess everything.

Then I wait for him to leave. But instead, he unbuttons my blouse. I should stop him but I can’t. Just like the last time, it feels totally natural: as though we have done this many times before in another life.

‘Is this all right?’ he asks gently.

I nod.

Then he makes love to me so tenderly and yet passionately that I think I might die.





Part Three




* * *





55


June 2017


Kitty


When she’d first arrived at Johnny’s home all those weeks ago, Kitty had hardly been able to believe her eyes. It was like a bloody mansion! So many rooms and big open spaces with a door that led outside to this huge patio with a swimming pool. It was even bigger than a house that she’d known once. Somewhere that she’d been to for a party with little paper lanterns in the garden. Or so she thought. And then the memory melted.

‘This is your new home,’ said Johnny’s mum. ‘By the way, you must call me Jeannie.’ Then she’d stopped and blushed. ‘I know you can’t actually say it out loud but I’d like you to think of me like that in your head. Now, is there anything you need? If there is, try and tell me on your picture board. One of the carers will be round soon. Meanwhile, let’s show you your new bedroom. I think Johnny’s already there.’

She blushed again. ‘He’s so excited to be back.’

The bedroom was massive too, with two huge twin beds. There was a special hoist above hers (‘so the carers and I can get you up in the morning, dear’) and an en-suite bathroom just for the two of them. ‘Come to bed,’ said Johnny when Call Me Jeannie wheeled her in.

The thing inside Kitty gave a jump as if to say ‘Are you joking? I don’t feel like that sort of stuff any more.’ Ever since the bleeding, Kitty had been convinced this was a monster inside her and not a baby at all. How could it be anything else with kicks like that? The sooner it came out, the better. Meanwhile, it just kept growing and growing and growing.

‘I’m sure Kitty wants to rest,’ said Call Me Jeannie.

Kitty and The Monster breathed a sigh of relief. At least someone understood.

It took a while for her to get used to the new life. ‘Can you believe it?’ said Call Me Jeannie as she turned over a page of the calendar on the wall. ‘June already!’

In some ways it was much better than the home. Food whenever she wanted it – and plenty of it. No strict bedtime routine. Telly in their bedroom. A huge one on the wall.

But in others, it was worse. Johnny always wanting to get into her bed at night – and during the day. Pawing away at her. To think she used to like this sort of lovey-dovey stuff!

‘Are you happy here?’ Friday Mum asked when she visited.

‘It’s OK,’ she babbled.

‘I wish I knew what you were saying. I feel so guilty that I can’t look after you myself.’ Then she stared at Kitty’s huge stomach. ‘It won’t be long until you’re a mother and I’m a grandmother!’ Her eyes filled with tears. ‘It’s a miracle. But I just hope we can all manage.’

At least there was no Bossy Supervisor. But Johnny’s father and his brothers didn’t seem to want her here. ‘That’s disgusting,’ one of them said – to her face! – when she slurped her way through spaghetti bolognese over dinner.

‘Shhh,’ said Call Me Jeannie.

Johnny just laughed.

But then came Day Centre.

‘Johnny always used to love it,’ said Call Me Jeannie. ‘Would you like to go with him?’

No. She wanted to watch telly and see what happened to the girl who had hit the boy who then slept with her best friend. But it looked like she had no choice.

Call Me Jeannie had bought a special van that was big enough for her wheelchair. Kitty stared out through the window all the way there. So many people walking down streets as if it was perfectly easy to put one foot in front of the other. Why couldn’t she do the same? What exactly had happened to her that meant she couldn’t walk?

‘Here we are!’ sang Johnny. He was sitting on the edge of the seat, his tongue hanging out.

‘You look like a dog,’ babbled Kitty.

Johnny smiled as though she’d said something nice. ‘I can’t wait to introduce you to my friends.’

Friends? Kitty’s heart did a little flip of fear. She’d had a friend once. What was her name? Kitty could see her in her mind right now. Blonde plaits. ‘Blood sisters’. Where had those words come from? For some strange reason, she was getting a lot more of these flashes since her hospital visit.