Best Laid Plans(128)
She hoped he was right. But she was never going to underestimate Elise Hansen.
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
One Week Later
Lucy stared at the tiny baby through the glass. Her nephew, John Patrick Thomas.
He was beautiful. Perfect. John Patrick was the future, the hope of the current generation.
She and Sean had flown in Sean’s Cessna and landed in San Diego only an hour ago. Now, John Patrick was twelve hours old and had already made a huge impact on the Kincaid family. He wasn’t the first grandchild—or nephew. That had been Justin, twenty-six years ago. Lucy’s nephew who had been her best friend for the first seven years of her life … until he’d been murdered.
Nelia had been young when she had had Justin—only twenty—but with the seven Kincaid children, Lucy was surprised—and sad—that there hadn’t been another grandchild born for twenty-six years. She looked at the newborn and couldn’t help but wonder if he would be the only one.
But it wouldn’t matter. He would be well loved.
Her hand went to her hollow stomach. She wondered how it would feel to grow a little human inside her. But she would never know. The emptiness filled her, overwhelming her with a grief she didn’t understand.
“Lucy.” Sean came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders. “Why are you crying? Is everything okay with Johnny?”
“Yes,” she managed to say. “It’s just me.”
She turned to face him. He needed to know what she was thinking, how she felt. She’d kept this pain locked up for so long … she didn’t know what to say. “I can’t have one.”
“I know that, sweetheart.” He touched her face. “Don’t cry. Please don’t cry.”
That made the tears fall faster. “It’s … hard. I didn’t realize I’ve been in mourning for so long. When I saw Molly two months ago, saw you rock her, when you smiled down at that beautiful baby … my heart swelled because you will make an amazing dad. You glowed with her, Sean. I’d never seen you like that before. And I … I can’t give you that. We can’t have a half Lucy, half Sean. It … it hurts so much. M-m-more than I ever thought it would.”
He held her tightly, so tightly she almost couldn’t breathe. He didn’t say it would be okay, because they both knew it wouldn’t. She would survive, because that was what she did. But the pain of a loss—the grief for something she could never have—would haunt her. And because Sean loved her, it would haunt him, too. And she hated that. She didn’t want him to feel this same loss. But she held on tighter because he gave her the strength, and the will, to love.
“I love you, Lucy,” he whispered. “Forever.”
*
Sean had bought the engagement ring months ago, before they’d moved in together. He’d planned on proposing over Christmas, but so much had been going on, the time didn’t seem right. Then he thought of proposing over Lucy’s birthday, but Jack and his wife, Megan, had made a surprise trip to San Antonio.
But Sean should have done it long ago.
The pain on Lucy’s face when she looked at John Patrick had nearly broken Sean. He didn’t know how to make her feel better. He didn’t know how to make her feel whole again. Because to him, Lucy was exactly who she was supposed to be. He would have done anything to turn back time and stop the brutality of what had happened to her, but he didn’t understand why she thought he’d love her any less. Because whether or not she could conceive a child played no part in the enormity of his feelings. It was Lucy and him. It had to be Lucy and him, forever.
He would spend his entire life making sure she knew she was well loved.
Though originally they were supposed to stay with Connor, one of Lucy’s brothers, and his wife, Julia, Sean had told Connor they wouldn’t be coming. Instead, Sean called in a favor from a friend and took Lucy to a beach house up the coast in Mission Beach. She slept in the car and didn’t even notice that they missed the turnoff to Connor’s place.
It was late, and Sean managed to get Lucy inside without a lot of questions. It helped that she was exhausted.
“Is Connor already in bed? Should we say hello?” she asked.
“We’ll talk to him tomorrow,” Sean said, and ushered her into the master suite.
Lucy yawned. “I haven’t been here in so long I don’t even remember this. Wait—they must have moved. They weren’t this close to the beach before.”
Sean kissed her and helped her undress. He put her in bed and covered her up. “Sleep, princess.”
“I guess I’m tired.”
He kissed her.
“I love you, Sean.”
She was asleep before he could get the words out.
“I love you, too, Lucy,” he whispered and held her close to his chest. It was a long time before he, too, slept.
*
Lucy woke up to the sound of ocean waves. The bed was soft, with a thick down comforter. Sun streamed through high windows over the bed, but when she opened her eyes, she saw a wall of windows overlooking the ocean.
This was not her brother’s house.
She sat up and stared. The view was spectacular. It made her realize how much she missed living near the ocean. She liked San Antonio, but her heart belonged to the Pacific Ocean.