Behind the Rake's Wicked Wager(38)

‘Is it not obvious?’

‘Not to me.’

She ran her tongue across her lips. They were dry, a sign of her nervousness.

‘He...he has courted me for months.’

‘But you knew I was going to offer for you. Why did you not tell me then?’

‘I did not think you were serious.’

‘After what happened on the balcony of the tea room?’ He gave a savage laugh. ‘How passionate does a man have to be, madam, before you consider him serious?’

She did not move, keeping her attention on the hearth. She heard his hasty stride behind her.

‘How passionate was Barnabus, when you accepted him?’

Her head came up at that.

‘Gerald is a gentleman—’

‘You mean he has not touched you.’

She fluttered her fan.

‘He does not need to. We—’

‘You have promised yourself to a man for whom you feel nothing.’

‘That is not true!’

‘Is it not?’ He grasped her shoulders and turned her to face him. ‘Does the blood pulse through your veins when he touches you? Does Barnabus drive you to the brink of madness with desire?’

She shrugged him off.

‘I do not want that.’ Her cheeks were burning and she fanned herself rapidly.

‘Did you accept him to escape from me?’ When she did not reply he continued, ‘So that’s it. You are afraid of what is between us—’

‘There is nothing between us!’

He took the fan from her and threw it down on the chair. Before she could protest he pulled her into his arms and kissed her savagely. Immediately her body sprang to life. The blood not only pulsed, it positively sang in her veins. She knew she must not give in. She put her hands on his chest, resisting the impulse to cling to his coat.

‘Tell me you feel nothing for me.’ His breath was hot on her neck as he covered her skin with kisses, each one burning even further through the defences she had erected. ‘Tell me you do not want to lie here with me now and let me make love to you.’

With a superhuman effort she pushed herself away from him.

‘That is desire, my lord, but it is not love.’

He towered over her, his face in shadow and his shoulders rising and falling with each ragged breath.

‘If it is love to know I cannot live without you, that every day we are apart is a day in hell then, yes, Susannah, I love you.’

Lies, said the voice in her head. He is a seducer. He will say anything to bend you to his will.

She backed away, the pain of the separation tearing at her skin.

‘Well, I do not love you.’

The words fell like lead weights into the silence between them.

‘Do you love Gerald?’

She hesitated.

‘We have mutual affection and respect. Love will follow.’

‘Are you sure, Susannah?’ He was closing in again, and once more desire and panic warred within her. ‘Are you sure it won’t be boredom that will follow? Dull complacency?’

She gave a sob.

‘You do not understand. I am safe with Gerald. I can live my life in comfort, I will not be forever wondering if he is faithful to me, I will not risk...’ she turned away, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to hold back the tears as she forced out the final words ‘...breaking my heart.’

Silence. Susannah could hear only the ticking of the clock. Surreptitiously she wiped away a rogue tear.

‘Ah.’ He uttered the word like a sigh. ‘I would offer you my hand, my heart, my life, Susannah, but there is an element of risk in all things. This passion we feel for one another may burn out, though I do not believe it. You would have to trust me on that, but you have never trusted any man, have you?’

‘Men in the grip of passion are unreliable,’ she muttered. ‘Even my own father, though he swore he loved my mother and came crawling back, begging for forgiveness on more than one occasion.’

‘I cannot argue against that,’ he said quietly. ‘I know some men are feckless creatures, but not all of us. However, if you would rather have Barnabus—

‘He loves me!’

‘Then let us hope that is enough for both of you, and that I have been mistaken in my own feelings.’ He walked to the door. ‘Goodbye, Susannah. I will not trouble you again.’

He went out, the door closing behind him. The emptiness and silence pressed in on her. Susannah felt then that she had lost something in her life. As though some prop, something necessary to her comfort, had been taken away.





Chapter Fourteen

Jasper did not go back upstairs. He was in no mood for company so he let himself out of the house and walked back to his hotel. He was promised to escort the dowager to the Abbey in the morning, but after that he would quit Bath. He had spent far too long here already and there was work on his estates that needed his attention. That should help to keep his mind from dwelling on Susannah Prentess. He should be glad to be leaving her behind. He had found her a patroness for Florence House, he had even endured an uncomfortable night in a chair there, to say nothing of slaving away in the kitchen to feed everyone, and for what? She was not even grateful. He shook his head and swung his cane at a clump of weeds pushing up at the roadside. He did not want her gratitude, he wanted to protect her, to make her comfortable—to make her happy. And if that meant he had to disappear from her life then so be it.

* * *

Susannah and her aunt did not attend the Abbey service the following morning. Jasper sat beside Lady Gisburne during the long sermon, impatiently waiting for the service to end so that he could get back to his rooms, where Peters was packing up everything in readiness for an early start in the morning. It was not until he was helping Lady Gisburne back into her carriage that Jasper told her he was leaving, hoping to fend off any questions by adding that he had business at Markham.

‘No doubt it can wait a few more days.’

‘I regret it cannot. My stay in Bath has been far longer than intended.’

‘Because of Susannah Prentess.’

Her shrewd gaze was on his face but he kept his countenance impassive as he took his seat beside her.

‘She was a distraction, I admit.’

‘Hmm. I wondered how you would take it when you learned that she was to marry. What happened last night?’

He raised his brows.

‘Last night, ma’am?’

The slight note of hauteur in his tone had no effect on the dowager.

‘It was obvious to me that the two of you have been playing cat and mouse. Then you both disappeared last night. What did she say to you?’

He decided not to deny it. The old lady was too astute to be fobbed off.

‘She intends to marry Barnabus.’ He added bitterly, ‘She feels safe with him. Safe! What she means is she thinks she can keep him under her thumb, poor devil!’

‘Yes, I thought as much.’

He shifted his eyes to her face.

‘You knew she was engaged to Barnabus, didn’t you? You knew it that night, at the ball, before I went off to Markham. For pity’s sake, why did you not tell me?’

‘Would it have made any difference?’

‘Yes! I might have reasoned with her—’

‘As you did last night? When Susannah came back upstairs she looked positively distraught.’

A dull flush crept into his cheek.

‘She inflames me,’ he admitted. ‘I find myself attracted to her like no other, and she feels the same, though she will not admit it. That is why I am going home in the morning. There is nothing here for me now.’

‘Much as it pains me to contradict you, Markham,’ replied the dowager untruthfully, ‘you are not leaving Bath tomorrow. Dominic and his family are on their way, and he will expect you to be here to meet him.’

‘I don’t believe it!’

Ignoring his exclamation, the dowager continued impassively, ‘I had an express from my godson this morning, telling me they will be arriving tomorrow.’

Jasper found a similar note waiting for him when he returned to York House. Peters received the change of plan with unimpaired calm, merely enquiring if he should instruct the hotel to prepare rooms in readiness for their arrival.

‘No need. The dowager has invited them to stay with her at Laura Place.’ He crumpled the note in his fist. ‘It means we will not be returning to Markham tomorrow after all. I must at least stay to welcome them.’

* * *

‘So tell me all about your engagement to Mr Barnabus.’

Susannah was strolling through Sydney Gardens with Kate, and was half-expecting the question. She had managed to avoid the subject since Kate’s return to Bath, but had known that at some point she would have to explain.

‘Oh well, he has been very persistent, you know, and he is such a sweet boy.’