Because of Rebecca(33)
She smiled. “I like hearing you call me that.”
“I like saying it.” He took her bag from her, opened the door, and sat the bag inside the room. Turning back to her, he grinned because she hadn’t moved an inch. Before she could protest, he swept her up into his arms and carried her into the room.
“Jared!”
He kicked the door closed with his foot and leaned against it. She kissed him and he wanted to carry her over to the bed and make love to her, but that wasn’t going to happen. He put her down, breaking their kiss. “We have to go back to Jackson tonight.”
Alarm widened her eyes. “Why? What’s happened?”
“The clerk told me Delaney checked out this afternoon to go collect a debt,” Jared said grimly. “That means—”
“That means he’s headed to Oak Hill,” she finished for him.
“But how did the clerk know all of this?”
“Delaney boasted about it.” Jared went to the closet and got his bag from the top shelf. Putting it on the bed, he quickly packed, and shut it. “I’m afraid our wedding night will have to wait.”
Her cheeks pinked, and he went back where she stood at the door. He pulled her close and kissed her until she sighed.
Closing his eyes, he slowly breathed to regain his composure. “I promise to make it up to you.”
“I’ll hold you to that, Mr. Hollingsworth.”
Chapter Eighteen
In the early morning light, Josephine rocked Lucas and thought about when she’d held Mariah like this many years ago. It had been difficult at the time having given up the child as her own at birth, but she’d been grateful to her brother and sister-in-law for taking her to Europe during the pregnancy so no one at home knew of the transgression. She leaned her head against the back of the rocker, closed her eyes and sighed. She hadn’t allowed herself to even think about that time, even after Mariah’s death. She’d stayed away from Lucas as much as possible even though she wanted to hold him, to heal her wounded heart.
With Rebecca gone these last few days, she’d finally allowed herself to feel something for the child, her rightful grandchild. She’d never imagined the love she could feel for him in so little time, but now that she did, she didn’t know if she could give him up so easily when Rebecca returned. Would it be selfish to want to take him as her own?
Yes. She feared it would. Rebecca loved him, and she couldn’t hurt her niece by taking him from her.
“Goodness, Miss Josephine.” Charlotte stumbled into the dimly lit room. “I was worried when I didn’t find the babe in his bed. Have you been here with him all night?”
“Only since about two. I woke and heard him stirring. I believe it’s his teeth again.”
“Would you like me to take him now so you can go back to bed?” she asked.
“I’m fine, and he’s no trouble at all.” Josephine smiled.
Charlotte slowly nodded. “I-if you’re sure?”
“I am.”
“I’ll go order up breakfast.”
“No need. I’m not hungry. Only coffee.”
“As you wish.” She curtsied and left.
Josephine rocked back and forth and hummed softly as her mind drifted to the London townhouse where she’d given birth to Mariah. It had been a cold overcast day. The doctor had arrived shortly before midnight and didn’t leave her side until nearly seven the following night. It had been a long and difficult birth, but Mariah had been perfect.
Two weeks later once she was back on her feet, they left London and traveled to France for four months before going to Italy. By then Mariah was getting all fat and sassy.
“That’s when you sent me away, Samuel. You and Emily sent me away so your little family didn’t have to deal with me.”
“Did you say something, miss?” Charlotte asked, coming back into the suite with the coffee service. She closed the door behind her and carried a tray over to the small table.
Josephine didn’t respond. She rocked in silence as warm tears rolled down her face, remembering how she’d sailed back to the United States alone.
“Would you like your coffee black?”
Josephine closed her eyes and continued to rock. She’d lost her first love and her child and what did she have to show for it? Nothing. She was well past her prime. In all rights she was on the shelf and had no prospects.
“Miss Josephine?” Charlotte’s call jarred her back to reality.
“Black. I’ll take it black.”
“Yes ma’am.” The girl fixed the coffee and brought it to her, but there was nowhere to set it. “Perhaps I should put the child to bed now? And you can have your coffee in peace?”
“Forget the coffee.” Josephine shifted the sleeping child in her arms so she could easily get out of the rocker. “I’ll put him down.”
“Bu-but-”
“Don’t stammer, Charlotte. I am capable of doing some things for myself.”
“Certainly. Have you been cryin’, ma’am?”
She swiped away the moisture with the back of her hand. “Nothing to fret about. Is that clear? I think I will lie down for a while.”
With a worried look, Charlotte set the coffee cup back on the tray and curtsied. She collected it and scurried out of sight.
Josephine carried Lucas into her room, put him on the bed and lay down beside him. She hummed a soft tune, watched him sleep until her own eyes grew heavy, and she too drifted off to sleep.
Tiny hands, patting her cheeks and wet, slobbery drool dripping on her face woke her a few hours later.
“Ma-ma.”
She opened her eyes and smiled. “Mama isn’t here now. She’ll be back soon.” She sat up and he crawled to her.
“Ma-ma.”
He’d been calling her that off and on since Rebecca left and each time it made her heart ache. Mariah had never called her that, nor had she ever wanted it back then, but now, if she could only have had that memory.
“Ma-ma.” He reached his hands up to her.
“Mama isn’t here, Lucas. She’s on a trip, but hopefully she’ll be back today or tomorrow.”
“Ma-ma.” He smacked his lips together this time and she picked him up. He laid his head on her shoulder and patted her.
“I bet you’re hungry. Let’s go get you something to eat.” She carried him into the sitting room, but stopped suddenly in the doorway. Ancil sat at the small table where they ate their meals, having coffee while listening to an animated Charlotte. The maid hushed and looked at her with a worried expression.
What had the girl been telling him?
“Let me take him from you, Miss Josephine.” Charlotte rushed to her side and took Lucas. “I’m sure he needs changing. Like you need to change and fix your hair or you’ll be late for Mass.”
Josephine’s spine stiffened at the mention of church, but she and Ancil always went to the daily Mass. Why should today be any different? “Ancil, I didn’t realize you were here. You should have had Charlotte wake me.”
“I hadn’t been here long. She was telling me how you were up most of the night with him,” he explained. “If he’s having trouble sleeping I can give you something to rub on his gums that might help.”
She smiled. “I must look frightful. Let me go change.”
“Is everything all right with you, Josephine?” He stood and walked to her. “Charlotte said you were crying earlier.”
“Can’t a woman cry?” she asked.
“A woman yes, but Josephine Davis? It isn’t like you and it frightened the poor girl.”
She took a deep breath. “Let me go change. I don’t want to keep you from Mass. Perhaps we can get some lunch later? I’d like to talk to you if you have the time.”
He nodded.
Once inside her room, she closed the door and hurried through her toiletry, splashing water on her face and fixing her hair before putting on a fresh dress.
When she returned Charlotte sat at the table holding Lucas while he drank his bottle.
“Doctor Gordon and I are leaving now.”
“Will you be gone long, miss?” Charlotte didn’t look up when she spoke.
Josephine glanced at Ancil. “An hour or so?”
He nodded. “Maybe longer.”
They walked through the hotel in silence, but once they were outside Ancil asked, “Are you sure you feel up to going to Mass today? You look troubled. Maybe it would do you more good to talk than hear a sermon.”
“I am troubled.”
“Perhaps we should get something to eat? If you care to come to my place, I can fix us something. It won’t be fancy, just some bacon and eggs, but at least you can speak in private.”
She nodded. “I don’t know if I can tell you. You may not want to speak to me again once I do.”