Be My Brayshaw (Brayshaw High #4)(119)

I nod.

It couldn’t have been easy. She had already lost two children, if I count myself, in her life, and she’d just lost a third. She helped take care of my daughter from infant to toddler, too. She loved her and I know Zoey loved her back.

“She listened to them, all but those last ten,” I tell her, reaching for her arm and pulling her close. “I want you to be the one to listen to those.”

She swallows. “Why?”

“So you know what I was feeling when I acted like I felt nothing.”

“You told her about us?” Her voice breaks.

“I did, Beauty. I was lost and angry, but I have no doubt she died knowing you’d be safe with me.”

She pushes against my chest, bringing her lips to mine for a slow, soft kiss. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” I tell her. “I was a piece of shit. I hurt you, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. Ever.”

“I know, you’ve told me a million times, Cap,” she whispers. “But you should.”

“I won’t, but thank you for wishing I would, for forgiving me. For giving me more than I knew I needed, and for going with me to this thing today.”

The softness she reserves only for me covers her eyes as she leans in. “Always.”

The corner of my mouth lifts, and I slide my lips along hers. “Remember you said that.”

She laughs, allowing me to tug her along, and the two of us climb into my vehicle. We make the twenty-minute ride to the Brayshaw memorial park.

I’d never been to an actual funeral before today, and I’d be happy never to again. I don’t like when people cry, and there were tears all over this afternoon, most from people twice my age, people who knew Connor Perkins a hell of a lot better than I ever did.

It’s been exactly two weeks since the man gave his life protecting mine, his son. The son the world never knew he had.

I think we gave him a goodbye my mother and the man I consider my birth father, would be proud of. I think him getting peace after death would mean a lot to them.

He had a hand-crafted casket with his last name engraved along the top, and as a family we decided to give him a place in the Brayshaw cemetery.

If I had to guess, I’d say half the town showed up to pay respects for the man I had no clue so many were connected to.

The last thing I expected today was for sadness to creep inside me, but it’s there, nonetheless.

I didn’t want to know the man as a dad, but it’s funny the thoughts that run through your mind when the possibility is stolen from under you.

The service ended about an hour ago, and we’ve been sitting at a small circular table just big enough for us for the last hour, picking at the plates of food in front of us ever since.

My head rises when Maddoc and Raven push to their feet.

“We’re heading back. Cool if we pick up Zoey on the way?” Maddoc asks.

I nod, sitting back in my seat. “Yeah, man. Thanks.”

He clamps a hand on my shoulder, and they start to walk off, but Raven pauses.

“Royce, you comin’?” she asks him.

His eyes never move from his phone. “Nah, but I am leavin’.”

He hops up, kissing Victoria’s forehead, and clasping my hand before he follows them out to the parking lot.

My dad catches my eyes and jerks his head, so I look to Victoria.

She smiles. “Meet me in the truck?”

So I nod and she runs off, catching up with the others as I make my way to my dad, and the two of us walk along the edge of the pond.

“Mallory got on the plane, I heard?” he asks.

I nod. “Mac escorted her across the fucking country, took her passport and IDs when she got there.”

“Big of you to set her up like you did.”

I shrug. “A condo and a few sets of zeros is nothing for peace of mind knowing I won’t have to see her again. She wanted nothing to do with this place anyway.”

“And if she had?”

“I’d have to find a way to be okay with it, but not for her sake.”

He nods, stopping to face me. “I know something else is on your mind. Don’t make me ask questions, talk to me, son.”

I scoff a laugh, licking my lips as I glance away. “I was never supposed to be here,” I say for the first time. “My father wasn’t one of you, like Mike’s was. I can’t help but think Mike was right to try and take what was mine. I took what should have been his. His place in this family, the place his dad left behind.”

“You’re wrong, son. Mero was a man of Brayshaw, as you have men at the warehouses and around this town and under you and your brother’s influence. But your father, the man your mother married, my best friend, he was Brayshaw. He was you as you are to them, as you stand here today. With or without you, Captain, Mike would never have been given your place. He’d have had to earn it in a different way as he grew. I have no doubt in my mind, he would have failed. He was weak-minded, as my brother was.”

“Maybe he wouldn’t have been if he grew up with us.”

“Maybe, Cap, but we have no way to know. What I do know is I’ve seen more strength and growth in this town, in this family, in the last several months than I saw in a lifetime of serving this place. That’s no coincidence. That’s Brayshaw at its finest.”