Be Mine(33)
Ellis had denied doing anything wrong. He’d even opened one box to show her a jumble of plastic hosing. But his eyes had slid away whenever she’d tried to meet his gaze, so she’d refused to give in. He was in over his head again. In what, she had no idea, but she didn’t want any part of it.
After he’d gone, her apartment had been too small. It had started snowing, and gotten dark, so she couldn’t drive. Couldn’t indulge the awful burning in her muscles telling her to run. Go. Fly.
If only it were summer. She could find a quiet stretch of highway and roll down her windows and forget for a few minutes. Hell, maybe even keep driving. Drive until the pain lost its hold and she felt peaceful enough to stop and start over.
She’d been here too long. She was making mistakes now. Wanting more than she deserved.
That was the reason she’d given in to Ellis. She’d known it was a mistake to allow him anything, but she’d wanted to be forgiven. She’d wanted to forgive herself, and so she’d latched onto the idea of making it up to him. The mistake of marrying him. Of letting them both believe she’d loved him. And then the panic when she’d awoken and realized what she’d done. The terrible way she’d left him, sneaking out in the night.
Ellis hadn’t been a good husband. Hell, he hadn’t even been a man. Just twenty-three years old and as aimless as he’d been sweet.
Jenny wiped down tables in a quiet corner of the saloon. She took her time, scrubbing at chair legs and cleaning the seats. She thought about calling home. It’d been years since she’d checked in. Maybe things were better now. Maybe her mom had finally decided to give up the pills.
But no. Someone would’ve gotten in touch. Her dad. Or maybe even Mom herself. But most likely, it would’ve been her sister, Jess, who took care of all the things that Jenny had walked away from. Who stayed because Jenny hadn’t. Who was stronger in so many ways, and weak only in that she cared too much and too easily.
“Hey there, girl!” Rayleen’s rough voice called. “You lost in thoughts of last night? You’ve been cleaning that table for five minutes.”
“Sorry,” she said, grabbing the spray bottle and heading behind the bar. It wasn’t busy tonight for some reason. The weather was bad, and no one wanted to head over from Teton, probably. She really
wasn’t needed behind the bar, as Benton had it under control, but she didn’t want to go. “Benton, I can take this shift, if you want,” she said as she passed him.
“Nah, I’m saving up for a new board. You go on.”
Crap. She edged around the bar to put away the cleaning supplies, but Rayleen stopped her. “So he wore you out, huh?”
Jenny froze. How the hell had Rayleen found out about that? Jackson was a small town, but it wasn’t that small. Had Nate told people? She tried shaking her head, but Rayleen just snorted.
“Don’t bother denying it. I saw that boy follow you home last night.”
Oh, thank God. She had it all wrong.
“Though why you sent that stud home and took up with Rapunzel, I have no idea. Are you playing them against each other in hopes of Valentine’s Day gifts?”
“Valentine’s Day?” God, she’d forgotten about that. But she’d be working, thankfully. Valentine’s Day in a saloon was just like any other night, with maybe a few more desperate hookups. At least she wouldn’t have to look at any happy couples.
“Well?” Rayleen snapped.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I did not sleep with Ellis last night.”
“Like I said, you don’t look like you got much sleep.”
“I slept fine. And alone.”
“Yeah? Then why’s your neck all raw on one side?”
When Jenny slapped a hand to her neck with a guilty gasp, Rayleen cackled.
“Good Lord, girl, your face is as red as a baboon’s ass!”
“Good old Aunt Rayleen!” a new voice said. “Always the most charming woman at the table.”
Jenny spun to flash a grimace of a smile at her friend Grace. “Hey. When did you get here?”
“A few seconds before my sweet old auntie accused you of getting laid. And having a baboon ass for a face. I’m hoping the two are unrelated. Just how kinky did it get?”
Jenny’s face was so hot she was tempted to stick her head in the ice maker. “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”
Grace smiled. “No?”
“No!”
“She’s lying,” Rayleen said.
Grace’s smile widened to a grin. “I know.”
“And her ex-husband is in town.”
Jenny groaned at the way Grace’s eyes widened. When she opened her mouth, Jenny held up a hand. “Yes, I have an ex-husband. No, I did not sleep with him last night. Or do anything else!”
“You did something,” Grace insisted. “You look like a girl caught with her fingers in the pot. Or the cookie jar. Or whatever kind of container you’d find penises in.”
Rayleen howled and pounded her table hard enough to make her deck of cards jump. “I always find them in pockets!”
“Oh, good God,” Jenny muttered. She grabbed Grace by the arm and pulled her closer. “The bathroom. Now.”
“Ooo,” Grace cooed mockingly. “So forceful.”
“Yeah, I heard you like that.”
“Ha! Look at Jenny getting her claws out. I think I like you this way, you nasty little thing.”
“Go!” Jenny gave her a gentle shove toward the back of the room. She never would’ve shoved Grace a few months before. Grace looked tough as hell with her edgy hair and smoky eyes and black boots. She was tough as hell. But she’d become one of Jenny’s best friends over the winter, and Jenny assumed that Grace probably wouldn’t punch her over one tiny, little shove.
She didn’t.
After ditching her cleaning supplies, Jenny tossed Rayleen a scowl. “It’s slow. I’m clocking out.”
“Hot date?”
Instead of cursing at her, Jenny grabbed her coat and headed toward the bathroom. She found Grace waiting in the narrow hallway. Grace tipped her head. “There’s already a party of four in there, comforting a girl who ran into her boyfriend on a date with his wife. Poor thing.”
Jenny winced. “We can sit in my car.”
“Sure. I’ll do anything to hear this story. I don’t think you’ve dated anyone since I moved to town.”
“I haven’t.”
“Then let’s go.”
They raced through the snow to Jenny’s car, and Grace was laughing breathlessly by the time they ducked and slammed the doors. “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to snow,” she gasped. “I feel like I’m on vacation every time a storm hits. Because this can’t be my real life. It’s like living in a nature documentary.”
“It’s called winter, L.A. girl,” Jenny teased, but she was glad for Grace’s silly affection for snow. Grace’s smile was different than it had been when she’d first moved to Jackson. Everything about her was different, starting with her hair, which was only brown and black now, and missing the vivid purple that had once streaked through it.
“So,” Grace said, tilting her chin toward Jenny. “Who are you doing?”
Jenny took a deep breath. “You know that cute deputy I told you about? The one who keeps pulling me over?”
“Holy crap. No. No! That’s like something out of a porn movie. Please tell me it was a frisk that went bad.”
“Shut up. It wasn’t like that. Well, not really. He pulled me over again, because I’m an idiot, and I maybe mentioned something about buying him a beer, and...he actually showed up.”
“What do you mean, ‘actually’?” Grace shook her head. “Of course he showed up. You’re cute and sexy. He’s probably been plotting a way to ask you out from day one.”
“I don’t know. But it went well, even after my ex showed up and nearly ruined everything.”
“Okay. So why do you look tortured?”
Jenny rubbed the side of her neck that was slightly raw from such vigorous attention. “We had sex. It was... God, it was amazing. Spectacular. And then he started asking about my ex.”
“What do you mean? Like he’s jealous?”
“I don’t know. Maybe?”
“Oh, that’s bad news, no matter how good the sex was. If he’s that controlling after one night, you need to think very carefully. No question.”
“I don’t know. It didn’t seem that bad.”
“Jenny. He’s a cop. And he’s already jealous. That could be a bad combination.”
“Maybe,” Jenny conceded, but as she said goodbye to Grace and started the car, she shook her head. It hadn’t felt like jealousy or control. It had felt like genuine worry mixed with a little “Just doing my job, ma’am.”