Barefoot in the Sun (Barefoot Bay)(19)

“What was in the letter is moot now.”

To him, maybe. “What else did you do?”

“Searched every place I knew you liked, every store, every bar, every park, every hot air balloon company in a two-hundred-mile radius.”

Oh. “I’d always wondered. Then I saw that you had married and I assumed you went back to her right away because of…who I am. What I am.”

He took her face in one hand, forcing her to look at him. “What you are is the woman I loved. I fully planned to support Adele and our child, but not marry her. I wanted to marry you.”

“You did?” The bitter taste of regret filled her mouth, forcing a little mew of misery. Why had she gone with Pasha that day? She’d had the chance to stay and start over, without Pasha and with Oliver. Pasha had offered her the choice, but Zoe knew that would be the end of them. She’d never see Pasha again. And the way he’d acted in the balloon, she was so sure she’d lost him and couldn’t imagine life without either of them.

So she did what she’d done most of her life because, deep inside, she didn’t believe in the kind of love Oliver had tempted her with. It was meant for other people, but not for Bridget Lessington.

He stepped back, dropping his hands in the water with a small splash. “I went to your house that night, but you were gone.”

The words hit like arrows to her heart.

Twelve hours. If she’d only stayed in Chicago for twelve more hours.

“Why didn’t you tell me what Adele’s message was?” she asked. Maybe that would have changed her decision…or maybe it would have made her run faster. There really was no way to know now.

“I couldn’t tell you until I talked to Adele,” he said. “I wasn’t even sure she was telling the truth.” He closed his eyes as if just remembering still hurt. “But she was and you were gone and, yes, I married her. And I stayed on a career course that was well guided by her father, and pretended that what you and I had was a crazy, brief fling instead of something real.”

Twelve hours.

“If I had stayed,” Zoe said softly, “how would you have gotten around the problem of my fake identity? Could you have gotten past the fact that I lived ‘on the run’ for all those years and might have to again?”

“I didn’t see it as the problem you did. I absolutely believed we could have negotiated with someone for help and gotten her cleared or pardoned. I still believe that. We could have fixed that.” He lifted a shoulder. “We still can.”

“She won’t even consider it. And now so much time has gone by it seems kind of…I don’t know.” She bounced a little on her toes; the conversation making her jumpy. “She’s too old to face that. By the time we have it sorted out, she could be…” Dead.

“Zoe.” He reached for her shoulders, holding her still. “Why don’t we fix both things at the same time?”

She stared at him. There were so many things to fix: their broken hearts, her dumb mistakes, Pasha’s legal problems, and, the biggest thing of all, cancer. “How?” she asked, overwhelmed by her mental list.

“While I start treatment, you consult a lawyer. Let’s attack the problems simultaneously.” He was never overwhelmed, though. Methodically, he’d power through and repair the hell out of everything.

No matter what the consequences. “She’d feel so betrayed.”

“Betrayed? If she’s healthy and free?” he countered. “Maybe she’d feel relieved.”

No. She’d be furious, hurt, and speechless at Zoe’s treachery. “We have an unspoken pact.”

“Maybe it’s unspoken because it was so wrong.”

“It wasn’t wrong. She helped me, she saved me. And she’s afraid.”

“Of what?”

She let out a dry laugh. “Prison?”

“She’s not going to prison.”

“You don’t know that. And we’ve always had this lifelong agreement.”

He shook his head a little, sliding his hand under her hair to hold her head. “Is that the only lifelong agreement you want, Zoe?”

The words stunned her, like shock therapy to her whole body. “What are you saying?”

For a long moment he didn’t answer, just traced her lower lip with his finger, sending white-hot sparks through her. “I’m saying I don’t want to be your replacement vibrator. I want a shot at something real with you, Zoe.”

A wholly different kind of electrical shock sparked in her. “You do?”

He held her gaze. “Don’t you?”

More than anything. But did she want it enough to hurt the one person who had stood by her through everything? The woman who’d saved her life and made sure she was educated and loved her wholly and fully—whether it was right or wrong?

“You’re thinking awfully hard about this” He moved away so suddenly she bobbed in the water. “Forget I asked.”

“As if that would be humanly possible.”

He walked toward the steps, water dripping off his body. The wet boxer briefs clung to his stunning male physique. “You’re asking me to pick you or Pasha.”

As he climbed out, he turned to her. “And you made that choice already, didn’t you?”

Yes, she had. And she hadn’t really been deeply happy since then.

“Get dressed, Zoe. We should get back so I can sign the paperwork and you can tell Evan the good news.”

“About moving in here?”

He picked up his pants from the patio. “About you being his sitter.”

They’d confirmed that? “And will you see Aunt Pasha as a patient?”

“Yes, of course.” He said it as though he’d planned to all along, which kind of pissed her off, but she was smart enough not to say a word. She’d gotten what she wanted.

And an orgasm.





Zoe was relieved to find Pasha asleep when she stopped by the bungalow after saying good-bye to Oliver. She wasn’t quite ready for the inevitable discussion, which, if Pasha wasn’t sick, could—and probably would—easily end with a pack-and-run.

But Pasha was sick, and this time everything was different.

And what Oliver was asking her to do? Turn Pasha in? The idea was still unthinkable to her. So she thought about other things.

I want a shot at something real with you, Zoe.

Yeah, she could think about that for hours. But Tessa texted that she and Jocelyn were still at Lacey’s house, drawing Zoe like a magnet to her three best friends. As always, she’d have to hold some truths back from them, but even still, she could count on their friendship to make her feel better.

Plus, she wanted to hold that baby again. God, she was as bad as Tessa with the babies now.

Did “something real” include a baby? A life together? A home? She didn’t know. The only thing she did know was that it would include a betrayal she wasn’t sure she could make.

She took the back route along the gardens and ended up on Lacey’s pool patio, where she found Jocelyn and Tessa nursing wine and Lacey nursing something a little bit cuter.

“And then there were five,” she teased as she pulled open the screen door to join them poolside.

“Excuse me, this is my second child,” Lacey said. “So that makes six.”

“Yeah, but Ashley doesn’t drink with us. Yet.” At the outdoor bar, Zoe grabbed a plastic stemmed glass and poured a liberal amount of Chardonnay. “Where is my goddaughter? Is she getting enough attention with the new baby?”

“I hope so. She went with Clay and Will to get us Mexican from the SOB,” Tessa said. “Where have you been all day?”

“Selling real estate.” She dropped onto an empty chaise and raised her glass to Lacey, who was curled up on her own chaise, her breast and babe covered by a pale blue blanket. “You’re welcome, Mrs. Walker. Casa Blanca has its first long-term tenant in Bay Laurel.”

Lacey smiled in gratitude. “We’re over the moon about this rental, Zoe. This is huge for us.”

“And how do you feel about it?” Tessa asked, sneaking a look at Jocelyn that practically screamed that they’d all been talking about her.

“Like I should get a commission.” Zoe took a deep sip. “And the courtesy of not being gossiped about by my closest friends.”

“We’re not gossiping,” Jocelyn assured her. “We’re discussing your relationship with the newest guest.”

“Who happens to be quite nice looking,” Lacey said, cringing as she adjusted the infant. “I remember this being easier with Ashley.”

“You were twenty-two,” Zoe said. “Everything’s easier then. Did you all lay bets on whether or not we kissed?”

“Five to one you kissed,” Tessa shot back.