Ballers: His Game (Ballers Series Book 1)(20)

I don’t have a thing for white men. I just have a thing for this white man. Five years and I cannot mistake the butterflies in my belly. There is no denying the fire I feel in my veins at the memory of his touch. I blink a few times and stumble back reaching for my brother’s hand and squeeze it hard.

“Oh my God,” I gasp, “oh my God, oh no, oh God no.”

“I’ll kill him,” Ellerie growls beside me as his body tenses.

I snap out of it and turn to push at my brother’s chest as he starts to launch himself toward Brad. I shake my head fiercely. This is not happening, it can’t be.

“Listen to me Ellerie, he doesn’t know, he didn’t know. He never knew. I never even told him my name. It was one night. I was stupid and drunk and Stacey had this idea to not tell him and his friend our names. I never tried to tell him. Please,” I whisper frantically trying to explain.

“You’re kidding me right, Tam,” Ellerie hisses. “You’ve known all this time who he was and where and you made us believe it was someone you didn’t know how to find or contact.”

“It’s complicated. I was embarrassed. I was scared,” I almost sob.

“Brad,” Brielle squeals behind me.

I whip around to see him now standing less than a foot away. He is looking down at Brielle as a myriad of emotions cross his face. His large hand moves shakily toward her face then drops back to his side. His hands clench then unclench.

His blue eyes mist over and then he squeezes them shut. He opens them and tries blinking a few times. The whole time Brielle stands staring up at him with a huge smile on her face.

His eyes slowly move up to meet mine and search my face. I watch his throat work as he swallows hard trying to find his words. One hand moves to run through his hair.

“I…is she…she’s,” he stammers out not able to complete a phrase. I nod and he gulps down a breath of air.

This time he reaches for my face and brushes my cheek. “Sweetheart, please tell me your name,” he rasps.

“Tamara, Tamara Hathaway,” I breathe.

His jaw works under his skin like he is trying my name out in his mouth. “Tamara,” he drawls. “Tamara, we need to talk.”

“I know,” I murmur.

“Mommy,” Brielle says looking at me with concern.

I reach for her, pulling her close, hugging her against me. Brad looks down at her and pain washes over his face. In that moment, I think that maybe I had made the wrong decision. Maybe he had a right to know about her.

“Bri, why don’t you go with Uncle Eli, baby,” I look down at her and say softly.

Brielle gasps and her face crumbles as her little bottom lip trembles. “Oh mommy, please don’t be mad at Brad. I’m so sorry Brad, sorry Uncle Eli, I forgot it was supposed to be our secret,” she sobs. She grabs Brad’s hand and looks up at me. “Mommy, I ate first. Brad gave me food first. Please don’t be mad at him. He’s my new friend. I don’t want him to get in trouble because I forgot.”

“Bri, it’s fine baby. He’s not in trouble for giving you the cake. Just go with Uncle Eli,” I soothe.

“But,” she sniffles and looks up at Brad.

He squeezes her little hand in his and kneels down to her eye level. He brushes away a tear that slips free. It looks like he wants to cry with her.

“Sugar, it’s okay. I need to talk to your mama. She’s an old friend of mine. When we’re done I’ll come find you and we can cause a little trouble with one of those go carts I saw them setting up,” Brad says gruffly.

“You promise, you’re not in trouble because of me, right,” she pleads.

“I promise,” he says and kisses her forehead.

“Okay,” she whispers and throws her arms around his neck. She pulls away reluctantly, eyeing me warily as she walks over to Ellerie and takes his hand.

Ellerie gives Brad a curt nod then squeezes my hand and gives me a tight smile. I know he is going to rip me a new one when he gets a chance. I watch them walk away, jumping when I feel a large hand settle on the small of my back.

“Can we take a walk somewhere private,” he says next to my ear, causing my whole body to tingle. I nod and turn to follow him.

We make our way out of the tent and into the stadium. Brad leads me into the dark team locker room and flips the switch for the lights. I take a few steps forward to put a little distance between us.

Turning around I blurt out, “Brad, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do. I thought I would never see you again and I didn’t want to interrupt your life. You left, you didn’t leave a way to contact you, so I thought it was best not to bother you.”

He closes his eyes and I can see his body vibrating. He stands like that for what seems like forever, but it is only a few seconds. When he opens his eyes they are filled with tears and his lashes are moist with them.

“Tamara, I’m so sorry. I left because I thought you would think that night was a mistake. We both had so much to drink and you ….,” he drops his head in his hands. “I’ve thought about you every day for five years. I have this picture I took of you with my phone while you were sleeping…I. I came back…it was a few months later but I went back and you were gone. There was a man there with the realtor. I thought he looked something like you.”