Baby for the Billionaire(31)

“Yes and no.” He took a ragged breath. “No, because my mother truly was genuinely sorry for all she’d done. Yes, because it’s too late to tell her I forgive her.”

Stunned surprise rippled through her and she sat down on one of the brocade chairs. “You forgive her?”

He nodded. “My mother was never the type of person to ask for forgiveness. You see, she never actually realized she needed forgiving in the first place.” He gave a half smile at that. “And I would’ve said a leopard never changed its spots, but some things happened to Julieann that had a profound effect on her.”

“What was that?”

“She fell in love for the first time ever. With Ted.” He gave a tiny pause. “And she got cancer.”

Sasha’s heart saddened for the woman. “Cancer?”

“Yes, and she recovered but it made her look back on her life and see all the hurt she’d caused. Believe me, I know the woman my mother was in her younger years, and she would never have written that letter. Never.”

Sasha knew he would never let himself be fooled by anything insincere. “I’m glad she changed for the better.”

“Me, too.” Then his brows pulled together. “I guess for once my father was right and I was wrong. If Dad hadn’t convinced me to go, I’d probably have received the letter in the mail and not read it at all. I know for sure I wouldn’t have been so quick to forgive, but meeting Ted today convinced me he was genuine. And that the letter was, too.”

“I liked Ted.”

“Me, too. He’s much better than her previous husbands. There were five,” he said before she could ask. “And apart from Ted, they were all after my mother for the money she could get out of my father.”

Sasha’s forehead creased. “Did your father just hand over money whenever she asked for it?”

He shook his head. “No, it wasn’t quite like that. From the time I was seven she’d turn up here every couple of years until I was twelve, and insist on my staying with her and her current husband for a few days while they were in town.” His lips twisted. “Naturally she’d insist on being paid ‘expenses’ and then blow it all at the races.”

Sasha listened with rising dismay. She was beginning to see why Nick had disliked his mother so much.

“My dad didn’t want to stop me from seeing her, but he would always ask me if I wanted to go. I thought he wanted me to, so I did.” He shrugged. “I’ve never told him the truth.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Your father didn’t realize this? He just handed you over to a woman who had no respect for anyone or took no responsibility for anything?”

“He thought he was doing the right thing. Besides, he told me years later he had someone keep an eye on me while I was away, and he thought I was having an okay time. She’d dump me on her parents, you see, while they went off to the races, so he thought I was getting to know my grandparents. They couldn’t have been less interested in me if they’d tried.”

Oh, poor Nick. “What did you do when you were with them?”

“Sit and watch television. I was miserable and couldn’t wait to get back home.” He took a shuddering breath. “It was only a few days, but it felt like a lifetime.”

“And there would’ve always been the fear that you would never come back home again,” she said half to herself.

A muscle began to throb in his cheek.

She stared aghast. “Oh my God. That’s why you won’t let me redecorate this bedroom. This was your sanctuary whenever you returned home, wasn’t it?”

He nodded with a taut jerk of his head. “Yes. I felt safe here. I still do. I used to imagine they would never get to me here.”

Her heart constricted. “Oh, Nick. I’m sorry you had to go through all that.”

“Hey, it wasn’t so bad,” he said, making light of it now.

“Yes, it was.”

A look of discomfort crossed his face. “Okay, so those times were bad, but I always made it back home and that’s the important thing.”

She looked at Nick and something tumbled around in her chest. She could imagine him a little boy or a young teenager putting on a brave face, terrified of going with his mother and her latest new husband, not knowing if he would ever come back to those who loved him.

The urge to hold him was strong and she stood up and went to stand between his legs, pulling his head against her breast in a comforting fashion. He didn’t resist, and they remained like that for a while.