Awakening Book One of the Trust Series(111)

The first time period had easily been the simplest. It had been a time where she loved and had been loved by her family. The lessons her mother and even her father had taught her came into play even know. It had shaped her and made her the woman she was to become.

In the second phase of her life, the beginning had been extremely difficult. The guilt that she bore was excruciating and it was only with the help of her friends that she had managed to have a somewhat normal college experience. Her friends were her rocks; the ones that always told the truth and never betrayed her. They were her sisters in every sense of the word. Caitlyn was convinced that without them, to this day she would be lost and a mess, regardless of her change.

And then her final phase, at least for now, was her Awakening. It still amazed Caitlyn how this one event so dramatically altered her life, so dramatically altered her. She felt a responsibility she never had before; she felt a loyalty she never expected to after only a few short months. Her entire life she had felt as if she was a little off, like she was not set on the path she was meant to be on. Now, she finally felt as if she was home, she was where she needed to be.

That was primarily thanks to two people. And it was those two people at the moment that had caused the most confusion, most heartache that she had experienced in her life. But she was eternally grateful to them, because both did it with the best of intent, and both cared for her in a way she had not known since she was a young girl.

Since Garrett returned, she took a lot of time meditating, thinking about what was really important to her in this life, and what she wanted. She came up with two conclusions.

She had feelings for Declan McPherson. Right or wrong, they were there. He was so vastly different than Garrett and that was part of the appeal, she supposed. He was more like her than anyone she had ever met; they were old souls, they both understood that life is hard work sometimes, and they both shared a similar love for their people. His love was built up over the years, a result of his understanding of their heritage and understanding what being an Actual truly meant. His was a true dedication to their way of life.

Her love was new and unblemished. She saw the potential in their people, the hardships that they were going to endure over the next few decades, and she saw the great capacity for kindness that their people could bestow and how they could help mankind.

It was this kinship that fueled their fire, fed the flames of the developing feelings between the both of them. She admired and respected him tremendously. Caitlyn was not going to lie to herself and say she was not hurt when he had told her he couldn’t be with her. When he had explained his reasons why he could not pursue a relationship, she understood. He was right, of course. He needed to be there for his people; what was coming was going to be momentous, she could feel it when she looked him, he was practically collapsing from the burden on his shoulders.

She hadn’t intended on kissing him that last time in her apartment. But when she knew that he was telling her he would not pursue her, she could not go without feeling his lips on hers one last time, even if it was just for a brief moment. The two of them had something incredibly special; and she would keep him in her life anyway possible. But she wanted the memory of his lips on hers as a keepsake to treasure for always.

But more so, he was right about Garrett. When Declan had come to her with his true identity, she was heartbroken. She spent those two weeks he was in the hospital, wondering if she really had known him at all.

Then he returned. The look he gave her was of such true remorse, that her heart broke right then and there again. She was conflicted.

So she did the only thing she could at first, she held him. Words did not pass between the two of them; instead, she pressed her head against his chest, letting her silent tears soak his shirt, finally allowing herself to feel everything that she had not allowed herself to.

She knew then that was what Garrett was to her. While Declan was the person who drove her to be better, Garrett was the one that forced her to feel. Both were important; both played part’s that were essential to Caitlyn’s growth as a person. It was no wonder her conflict was so great.

When they finally discussed their differences, she found that the wound their relationship had was deep and vicious. Garrett on all accounts was a very different person than she was. She could not relate or even begin to fathom where he was coming from, how he could think the way he did. And then he changed everything with his offer to show her his world.

She was hesitant to accept his offer, but realized that he did deserve a chance to redeem himself. When the last memory faded, Caitlyn’s world shifted. Garrett had many demons he needed to deal with, and many things that he needed to prove.