At Last (The Idle Point, Maine Stories)(98)

Sophie's eyelids fluttered closed. They waited a moment and then when they were sure she was asleep, starting to tiptoe from the room.

"Does Pyewacket ever go home to New York?" Sophie called out as they reached the door.

"I don't know yet," Gracie said, glancing at Noah. "Pye will have to let me know."

Sophie yawned. "What about my seagull? Did you and Doctor Jim make him all better?"





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Gracie's heart sank to her feet. She had been waiting for this question and when it hadn't come by lights out, she'd thought they were home-free.

"Did he—?" Noah whispered.

"Yes," she said. "I don't want to lie to her."

"I don't want you to either."

It was a small thing but she deserved the truth.

"The gull was hurt very badly, honey," Gracie said, crouching down at the side of Sophie's bed. "Doctor Jim and I did everything we could to make him comfortable."

"Is he all better?"

"We lost him, Sophie. I'm so sorry. We tried our best but he was hurt too badly for us to be able to save him."

"You mean he's gone?"

"Yes, honey."

"Then I should go find him."

"No, Soph, you don't have to do that," Noah bent down to talk to her. "What Gracie's saying is that the gull died."

Sophie thought about that for a moment. Neither Gracie nor Noah knew just how well she understood the concept of death.

"Where is my seagull now?"

"Doctor Jim has him," Gracie said. "He'll take him back to the beach where he belongs." Nature was unforgiving, at best, but there was comfort to be found in the notion of life renewing itself. At five-and-a-half, Sophie was too young to understand that concept but in time she would.

They waited until Sophie's eyes grew heavy a second time, then slipped from the room. Sophie's pink nightlight was on. Its faint glow spilled out into the darkened hallway. The house seemed very quiet after the Thanksgiving Day commotion.

"Listen," Gracie said, tilting her head to the right. "Not a sound. She's out like a light."

His face was inches away from hers. The look in his eyes was filled with both pain and wonder. "You were great with her."

"I think we speak the same language."

"She's had it rough," he said. "She's been passed around since the day she was born then some guy from another country comes along and says, 'I'm your father, kid,' and takes her across the ocean."

"She's lucky you found her. You'll give her the family she deserves."

"No," he said. "I'm the one who's lucky. She's the one good thing to happen to me since I lost you."

"It hurts so much, Noah," she whispered, her voice breaking. He was so close she could smell the dried sea spray on his skin. "When you told me she was your daughter, I hurt so much I thought I was going to die."

"Now you know," he said, his tone fierce with rage and longing. "That's what you did to me, Gracie, when you left me."

"I never wanted to hurt you. That's the last thing I wanted to do. I was scared. I didn't know which way to turn. I did the only thing I could do. I had no choice. It was the only option left to me."

"I pushed too hard," he said, his mouth only inches from hers. "I asked you to give up everything you'd worked for. I wanted you all for myself."

"No, no, that's not what I mean... oh God, this is so hard... seeing you again... seeing you with Sophie—"

They fell into each other's arms as if that was the only safe place on earth to be. And maybe it was. Their kisses were open-mouthed and hungry, hot and wet and impossible to deny. She wanted to taste every inch of his body. She wanted to bite the flesh of his inner thigh and mark him as her own. Years of longing erupted and she was on fire for him. She knew it was wrong. She knew there could be no future for them. She knew it all but she didn't care. She wanted this one night, this one gift to hold onto for the rest of her life.

He pressed her against the wall, trapped her there with his body, his hands, his heart. She clung to him, desperate for more, more of his kisses, his touch, everything he had and was or would ever be.

He was a half-step away from madness. Her slender curves hidden inside that foolish coat awoke a thousand memories. She had been so excited, so eager, so unbearably lovely that first time. He carried those images with him every day of his life. He'd dreamed of holding her again, tasting her skin, hearing her soft cries. And now there she was, in his arms, and he wasn't dreaming. She moved against him, on fire and unashamed, matching him in passion and love and need, all she had been before and more, so much more, because now he knew how it felt to be without her. At once he saw her as she was and as she had been, past and present coming together in a blaze of anger and love and desire that almost brought him to his knees.